Thursday, April 10, 2008

oooohhhhhmmmmmmmmm......

Did anyone happen to watch this last night? The Last Lecture: A love story for your life. This man, Randy Pausch, and his wife Ray are true inspirations. If you haven't seen it you should. It'll make you question the way you live your life. You can read the entire lecture here.

Completely changing the subject:

When I was younger and dancing in recitals I would start having recurring nightmares 2-3 weeks before the shows every single year. The dreams were always the same and were always one of the following...
1. Falling off the stage
2. walking out on stage during the wrong dance and having to fake my way through the dance. I would always wake up and think to my self..."why the hell didn't you just run off the stage dummy!
3. Forgetting costumes and dance shoes and having to run back home for them and ending up missing the show entirely because I was late getting back with missing items.

The reason I tell you that is to tell you this.....I've been having a hard time sleeping the last few nights. I go to bed anxious and nervous and my mind is just rattling with all the thoughts and things to do lists. I couldn't explain the feeling of unease...I was actually thinking to myself last night that it's time to start learning to meditate...I have GOT to learn how to empty my brain at night.

Anyway, I figured out the source of the nervousness this morning. I noticed last night that I have less than 2 weeks left before my girls trip. This is our 4th annual girls trip and every year about this time I start having nightmares about traveling. 90% of the time when I'm traveling I'm with my husband and family, and Papa Smurf always drives and takes care of the luggage check-in and tickets and such. I can't explain why but I'm always a nervous wreck about traveling without him. And it makes no sense because I'm not travelling alone. My friends and I are all on the same flight and we're all driving to the airport together. I'm a very independent woman. But for some reason travelling without my family turns me into a freak.

So last night I had one of THOSE dreams.

I drove to the airport and realized I didn't have my drivers licence. They wouldn't give me a ticket without it. My friends were urging me to run back home and get it because I had plenty of time....2 hours.....I live 45 minutes from the airport....on a good day....that's an hour and a half both ways.... So of course, I try to rush home but there's construction and traffic and I get lost. I get back to the airport 5 minutes late and the plane has already taken off and there are no more flights out for the next 4 days.

I really need meditation in my life.

11 comments:

Randy and Kelly English said...

Woman......relax......chill.....you have way too many things going on in your life!!!! Marathon, kids, housework, gymnastics, blogging, all the self help reading you do!!!!! Your mind is on complete overload and ready to explode. You wear me out just reading your blog. LOL... I love you but something is said for keeping it simple!!!!!!!

Love your crazy friend!!!

THopgood said...

Kelly, when you find me twitching in the corner of the room in the fetal position muttering nonsense to myself...please make sure my kids don't see me....and hide the toys...

Marni Tiani Self said...

Wow, that had me in tears. I feel ya... I actually had some weird nightmare last night too... I do that often. :(

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

I like the title! Hope things get better. Just think how well rested you'll be when you get back ha

Colleen said...

I get like this sometimes, too. I keep a notebook and a pen next to the bed and write everything down, no matter how stupid, then trust that in the morning I can read the list and worry about it then. (A lot of my anxiety stems from the fact that I'm afraid I'm going to forget all those things COMPLETELY before I can do anything about them.) I know every "self help" book tells you to do this, but it works for me. I'm a list queen!

BusyDad said...

I had those dreams all the time as a kid. For me it was violin recitals. I hated violin lessons and on top of that I really sucked. Funny thing is I STILL have those dreams. Like for some reason I forgot that I am still in the orchestra and I haven't practiced in 20 years and now have to play first violin for the next number. I hate that dream...

Motherhood for Dummies said...

I just heard about that guy Randy today. I looked up his lecture on Youtube and it was amazing. How upbeat he is and just amazing.

kelly said...

hey, thanks for visiting last week. I have been a horribly rude blogger, and have just gotten around to visiting everyone! YIKES.

I used to have weird dreams, always on the same night with my Dad when I was a kid. We even had some that were so close it was really odd. I used to get chased through hosiptals a lot. Those dreams always freak me out. I hope that yours go away soon... maybe with the help of more sunshine! :-)

Heather J. said...

One word,

Xanax.

Domestic Accident said...

Another word: Ambien

Amanda said...

Xanax AND Ambien is even better ;)

MediTation, MediCation...potAto, potato...