Fuzzy Bunny Slippers -vs- Semi-Automatic

I now bring to you some more comic relief...in the form of another family sponsored boxing round. Because I'm fresh out of any good blog material...and I'm all about helping ya'll feel better about yourselves and your own families....and this really WILL make you laugh. And whether you're laughing with me or at me really makes no difference to me what-so-ever....

Drum roll please....

*insert Rocky theme music*

Ladies and gentlemen....welcome to the Smurfland theater live...this is the event of the week...scheduled for 3 rounds of competition. Let's get ready to ruuummmbbblllllllle.....

In the blue print...standing 4' 11.5"....wearing her plaid flannel jammies and fuzzy bunny slippers...she's the real deal....she's 60 years old from "burb" town USA....Dairy Queen cake decorating extraordinaire....Grandmaaaaaa Smurrrrrf.

And in the red print...standing...???....well, she's prolly sitting....but she has a venomous mouth that can make a grown woman weep...58-ish y/o woman known for her fowl tempered manipulative ways and upper cut jabs to the kidneys, wearing her fanged teeth, devil's horns, and semi-automatic.....introducing....Aunt Craaaaaazy Biiiiiiiitchhhh...

*ding-ding*

Round 1-

The family member I spoke of in yesterday's post....the one I spent Saturday evening with.... posted the following FB status update on Sunday morning:

"Woke up this morning with a pounding headache and a full heart ;-) Had a fantastic time last night getting to know a family member that I will now call my friend. FB family don't be afraid to take a risk, sometimes the rewards are truly worth it!"

"And sometimes unfortunately, taking those risks allows family members to rip your heart right from your chest and trample it into the ground. Glad you had a good time though!"

"Just who was it that did the trampling???? I'm confused????"

"If it were ANY of your business Grandma Smurf, you would know!"

"My apologies, B. This should not be rehashed on your post."

Followed by a private message to B:

I apologize, B. Your post is not the place to keep rehashing nonsense. I just get infuriated every time she plays the injured party here. Having "her heart ripped out and trampled on" -- give me a friggin break!!!!

Round 2-

All of a sudden you are Dr. Phil or what? My life, my comments on other peoples FB are none of your business or concern. Never were, never will be. Unlike some, if I have something to say, I say it to the person, NOT behind their backs. Guess we just operate differently there, huh?

Gee, I'm confused -- I thought when you wrote on FB those comments were open to everyone reading and sending on the persons post. Why you thought it necessary to rehash this AGAIN on B's post, I don't know, but then be prepared for people to comment back on it, or SHUT UP!!!! And you are right, I DO know everything that happened -- you see I was on facebook at the time, and saw all the cruel comments being posted as you were writing them. Then, when people defend themselves, they are disrespectful! Be for real! Oh, and by the way, where did your comments go????? They disappeared -- miraculously!!! And you don't talk behind peoples backs???? Funny, I heard differently.

Round 3 -

Kiss my ass you pompous bitch. You have always thought you were better...you ARE NOT! You are a nosy, shit stirring bitch. You may have fooled some of the family but not me. I know first hand what a two-faced wench you are and always have been. Have fun with this one. Funny, cos Tammy's nasty posts all disappeared off mine too...however, I copied and pasted them for proof of what the little tramp had to say. And don't tell me to SHUT UP, you moron. Maybe you should have talked to your daughter like that when she was growing up and she wouldn't be such a bitch now. But then, the apple didn't fall far from the tree when she came along did it! Just like you she is

Your language speaks for itself. (Make sure you copy and paste that one as well). Funny, Tammy did the same thing, because otherwise people wouldn't believe the hateful things you wrote. She has it all cut and pasted too. I'll ask her to add your last words of love to it also. I can see why she felt the need to defend herself against you, because you come out with a vengeance and are so mean-spirited. I won't waste any more of my time responding to any notes, so please don't send them, as I am done!!!

Can you feel the love???

The judges are still deliberating on the winner of this heated battle.....

On the one hand Aunt CB earns extra points for using the terms wench, moron, tramp, and bitch in 4 consecutive sentences. The verbal equivalent to a below the belt jab, a kidney punch, and a bite of Grandma Smurf's right ear.....That's talent.

But....Grandma smurf has a mean "SHUT UP!" .....The verbal equivalent to a bob and weave....but often mistaken for a good old fashioned toe stomp'n....but when you're wearing fuzzy bunny slippers it just doesn't have the same painful impact. But, if you ask me, the fuzzy bunny slippers alone should earn her extra points.

*edited to add: And I've just had an epiphany....an "AH-HA!" moment of sorts. I've been fighting her all along and trying to defend myself against her main argument....that I think I'm better than her....and you know what? I am. We are. My mom and I are better than she is. She's right. I am better than you Auntie. Won't be denying that one any longer. =)

Confusius say....

I consider myself a very spiritual person....but not a religious one. I don't believe I'm going to Hell for not being a regular church goer. My family and I go when we can....when we remember to go. Not out of guilt but because ever since finding our new church....we enjoy going. I don't feel guilty when we miss a service....or several services....or several months of services. I believe God and I have a very special relationship. He "gets" me and has always provided for me. I am a VERY firm believer in the ole' cliches "everything happens for a reason"....and "where one door closes...another door opens". That belief is what gets me through even the toughest of circumstances. Those events and circumstances are all part of His master plan. I believe that we may go our entire life without realizing or understanding those reasons....but the reasons exist none-the-less.

But, every now and then, the reasons reveal themselves and become crystal clear almost immediately.

The reason for last week's family drama became crystal clear last night.

A door closed on my relationship with Aunt CB and CBII....sad, but true....but in it's stead another door has been opened for a relationship with another family member. A family member that I've never been particularly close with for no particular reason. Well, I have my theories on some possible reasons....but that's all they are. Theories. I don't believe the door to that relationship would have opened if the family drama of last week hadn't taken place.

This family member contacted me. Out of the blue. And said, quite simply, "lets go out". I am very grateful that she took the initiative. Because I never would have. Not because I didn't want to but because I've always assumed she felt the same as Aunt CB and CBII. I was a coward. I assumed things that I shouldn't have. Which probably gave her all the more reason to believe her assumptions about me were true. Assuming she had assumptions. =)

I'm more than a little embarrassed and ashamed to admit that my immediate reaction to her asking me to go out was...."why". No, I didn't say that.....but that's what I was thinking. I assumed there had to be an ulterior motive. Like I said in Friday's post I was forming all sorts of conspiracy theories in my head based on my assumptions.

Confused?

Yeah...me too. =)

I guess what I'm trying to say is this....if you fear relationships based on your assumptions? You're missing out on learning the truth. And really? What's the worst that can happen? You could learn that your assumptions were true. So what? You already assumed they were true to begin with. So, if you do learn they're true? You close that door and move on. But if you're brave enough to set your pride and ego aside for just a moment? You could learn you were wrong?

Or, maybe that person did have assumptions. And maybe this is your opportunity to prove those assumptions wrong.

And then you've got yourself a lovely new relationship.

It really is a win-win situation.

Moral of the story? Learn the truth about your assumptions. Don't sit back and assume they are the truth.

Today's post brought to you by Dalai Lama and Confucius.

=)

Friday Fragments

*Editing this post and changing this title to join in on Friday Fragments hosted by Half-Past Kissin' Time. Looked like fun!

*I miss our new home. My husband is travelling up I-75 as I type this on his way to our new home to meet with the alarm company. And I just want to kick him in the shin for it. Because, in case you've missed the previous 4 posts....I'm mature like that *rolling my eyes*.

*Speaking of *rolling my eyes*....karma is coming back to bite me in the ass....as my (almost) 13 yr old has now started doing this. Is there anything more infuriating?

*Charlotte King from Private Practice is my hero.

*Taking Dreamy to see how long he can stand being submerged in a 24 inch wide tunnel while holding perfectly still without having a claustrophobic meltdown for an MRI of his hip this afternoon. He's been nursing a gymnastics related hip injury for the past 3 months and it's not healing. Xray shows nothing because the suspected injury involves cartilage. In the meantime he hasn't participated in gymnastics or any gym or recess activities since school started and it's really taking a toll on him (and his mother) emotionally. It's looking, as of now, like he won't be able to compete this year. Which is really bumming him out. And I'm pretty upset too because whether he competes or not and whether he is at practice or not (while he's healing) I still have to pay the full monthly tuition fee I've already spent $250 on his uniform I've already paid the $600 on the annual booster club dues it's hard to see him so sad and in so much pain.

*Our basement has developed a mysterious mildew smell over the past couple weeks. My husband We steam cleaned the carpets and scrubbed every square inch down there but still couldn't find the source of the smell. Until yesterday. The good news is: the source of the smell has been discovered. The bad news is: home made Play-Doe does not have a 2 year shelf life. Who knew? *throwing my arms up in a dramatic display of wonder*.

*Did ya'll know you can bake brussel sprouts? I totally just learned this this past week. Brussel sprouts are my favorite veggie. Don't judge me. Roll them in olive oil and a little salt and bake at 350* for 1/2 hour. They get a little crispy brown on the outside and tender on the inside. Yummy.

*I went to bed last night with a raging headache. Why? Because I only drank 2 diet cokes yesterday.....as opposed to the 12 pack I usually drink. Diet Coke is my crack cocaine. I need help.

*Hubby and I sleep in a queen size bed. We're not big people. Until recently, this has been the perfect size for us. Hubby is becoming more and more of a bed hog and restless sleeper. Last night I was elbowed in the face after 4 hours of tossing and turning because of my caffeine withdrawal headache. He cracked me square in the cheek bone. I was not happy. So I picked up his arm and threw it across the bed to his side. He still didn't wake up...which only infuriated me more. I can totally see us being that old couple that sleeps in separate bedrooms.

*And while I lay in bed awake? I was watching "Good Times" reruns. It was DY-NO-MITE!!!! Don't judge me.

*The crazy bitches have turned me into a paranoid freak. In the past 2 days I have been contacted by 2 different family members requesting to see me. One is coming over on Monday because she wants to talk to me to "make her amends". I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I'm envisioning a Tammy bashing intervention session. The other wants to meet for drinks/dinner on Saturday. If they had asked at any other time I would be thrilled. I'm always in for a girls night out pow-wow...and with family? Even better! But because Both of these family members speak to the crazy bitches on a regular basis I'm now starting to formulate conspiracy theories in my head. Which is just sad. I'm envisioning a) I enter the restaurant only to find a table full of crazy bitches waiting to pounce on me....or b) I exit the restaurant only to find 4 slashed tires. Which...when you consider I drive a minivan? Is just funny....cuz seriously....who slashes the tires on a mini van??

*How can you call it an "updated editor" if it doesn't even have spell check. Dude, where's the spell check!!??


*Edited to add: MRI has been rescheduled for Monday morning....as Dreamy woke up with 103.5* fever. The fun never ends in Smurfland.

Part 4: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far

If you've just tuned in to my charming story of family drama you may want to start at the beginning with:

Part 1: The Prologue and
Part 2: Oh No You Di'int
Part 3: Has Anyone Seen My Pooper Scooper?

.... as this is a continuation from those posts.

So, now I'm done trying to rationalize with Aunt CB because, clearly, Aunt CB is irrational and now we're just going around in circles. So, my next line of defense? Sarcasm. It's what I do best. And so I stopped caring about saving feelings because....well....because....(*insert a whining self righteous child's voice*) WELL SHE STARTED IT!

And so I posted on my FB wall a series of sarcastic posts directly in response to the above emails she sent me. I would like to add that she (and her daughter...who I will from here on out refer to as crazy bitch the second....AKA CBII) and my mom are, at this point, the only people that understand where the sarcasm was coming from. At least I THINK that's true. For all I know maybe the entire family was rallied in on this.

Dear High Falootin (yes that's a word....cuz I say so) facebook friends, I have officially decided that you will forever be affectionately referred to as my "BURB peeps". Cuz that sounds way cooler than "facebook friends".

And then....

I'm trying to decide....for hot date night with hubby and friends....should I shoot for the classy and sophisticated "BURB" look? Or the "mouthy little girl" look? Decisions...decision....Kay...I think I'm done now....maybe...

Well, CBII didn't like that so much. She commented with (her comments and messages will now be in green):

You should be and maybe you should just move on and remember that people who care about the person your making fun of can read this too?"

followed immediately by a private message from Aunt CB:

you better watch yourself Tammy. You are starting to piss off an awful lot of ppl..little Diva..you have no class at all

Well now....I'm still trying to figure out if that was another threat?

Get help, Aunt CB.

Go to hell, Tammy.

I then sent CBII the following private message:

So, just to clarify....because apparently I've gotten the rules of this war your mother started all wrong.....We're back to being concerned about feelings?

CBII, your mother has been sending me the most ridiculously hateful and nasty messages for the past 2 days. Completely out of no-where. I did NOT deserve it. Am I suppose to just roll over and &^%$#@#$% (I've substituted the previous statement with &^%$##$% because of inappropriate content) without a word? Really? Would you? Put yourself in my shoes for just a minute and tell me how I should react....because I'm obviously doing it all wrong.

And then, while your at it....tell me how I should react to the latest message....

"you better watch yourself Tammy. You are starting to piss off an awful lot of ppl..little Diva..you have no class at all"

Your mother needs help. I understand she's your mother and you're going to stick up for her and I've hurt your feelings with my post...I'm sorry, but I just don't know how to react appropriately to such hateful spiteful words from my AUNT! I'm pretty certain you'd feel the same way if one of your family members did the same to you.

Now I fully recognize how ridiculously out of control and childish this has all spun. But, like I said from the beginning....I have issues with "letting things go"....I do not deny this....I wish I had the grace and poise to let all this roll off my back...but I don't. Putting a stop to all this nonsense was WAY beyond my capabilities at this point.

So Cousin CBII responded:

I'm not getting involved in this stupid shit Tammy! (REALLY? Cuz it kinda looked like you did when you started commenting on my posts) It looks like your having a great time with it though and I don't appreciate seeing you make fun of my mom! thats all i said to you and I said it after seeing more than 1 smart ass post from you about it. are you not mature or considerate enough to realize that I see it and just maybe it would bother me? (apparently not) and your innocent in all of this right? (YEP) you didn't email her hateful words right back? (NOPE) even after she said sorry? and then make fun of it over and over again? I don't care who's at fault i think this is all stupid and immature. (You're obviously WAY better than me...I bow in shame to your superiority) your, it may seem harsh to some but we want our kids to be raised with integrity blah blah blah post was directed right at my mom was it not? (NO IT WAS NOT....I thought we had already established that) It seems funny to me that i make 1 little comment to you about other peoples feelings and you send me a bitchy email like i did something wrong ! (Hypocrite!) you obviously don't give a shit about anyones feelings my mother needs help? my mother is dying asshole!

If I hadn't been beyond the point of defending myself... at this point I would have responded to her with "yes, I AM innocent....and NO my original message to her was NOT hateful...and NO my original comment about raising my kids with honesty was NOT directed at her...and NO my email to you was NOT bitchy, I was simply trying to DEFEND myself...and oh bytheway....the only hateful name calling that has taken place has been from YOU AND YOUR MOTHER! so NAH! *thumb on my nose...wiggling my fingers*!

But, I was beyond caring about trying to defend myself to these people. I had, in the past 48 hours, been called snippy and defensive, disrespectful, a big-shot, mouthy, disrespectful little girl....I was told that my "BURB" friends and I were unimpressive, I'm a diva, a smart ass, stupid, immature, inconsiderate, unfeeling, bitchy and unclassy....let's see....have I forgotten anything ...oh yeah....and I'm an ASSHOLE! How could I forget. Seriously.....anyone without a full deck of cards would have an identity crisis emerging after all that.

So, out came another smart ass status update...

Well...I WAS going to dress as a diva for Halloween tonight...but I've had a recent change of heart. I've decided to sew a giant butt.....with a crack in the middle and hole for my face in the center....cuz I've just been told I'm an asshole...and I've got a rep to uphold, yo! (Cousin CBII comment) Grow the hell up seriously (my comment back) OR...maybe I'll go as a baby....I'm thinking pacifier? diaper? bib? NOPE....I've GOT it! I'll go as a giant middle finger!! THAT? would be one kick ass costume!

wow Tammy you say sorry than you continue to post smart ass shit you really are something I hope you feel good about yourself i really do
PS: FUCK YOU TOO =)

Aww...come on cuz...why you gotta be like that??? *wipes tears*

And now my mom gets involved..."Tammy -- Don't play into her little game. People who were on facebook at the time and saw how this all started, know who started this and who is to blame. I saw it first hand, and don't blame you for being upset, because this was totally uncalled for. But don't feed into it anymore..... because you can see she thrives off it. LETS ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND IF ANYBODY OUT THERE NEEDS HELP..... GO SEEK IT!!!!! AND SHUT UP!!!!!!! Sorry..... but I'm really starting to get pissed off."

I inherited my maturity from my mother...in case you wondered....I mean come on mom..."shut up"? "Shut the FUCK up" would have sounded WAY cooler. =)

Cousin CBII sent me this email: awww you got your mommy on your side now thats sweet...did you tell her YOU emailed ME and that you are trying to egg ME on???

I didn't respond....because telling her to KISS MY ASS would probably be counterproductive at this point and explaining to her that I wasn't "egging her on" in my email...I was simply asking a VERY valid question...would just go around in another circle....so what would've been the point?

and an hour later she sent another:

of course not...

And it was at this point that I decided to post this pathetically humiliating story on my blog.

So, to answer your question dear Cousin CBII...YES! My mom saw every single last disgusting word exchanged by every one of us. Please feel free to let me know if I've left anything out.

I have now become the woman that holds a grudge. Because I'm afraid I'll be holding onto this one with tight iron fists for a very long time.

I would love to be able to say that none of this bothers me. That I'm not hurt by all this. But I kinda feel like I'm grieving the loss of another family member. Because there will be no mending this relationship. My husband and I have decided to cancel the annual Christmas celebration we host for that side of the family. Mainly because I don't want to add any more fuel to her hatred for me....because, if I host it....she and her family will not be welcome. Which would keep her from her family over the holidays...and, of course, that would then be my fault.

A Hater by Maya Angelou

Part 3: Has Anyone Seen My Pooper Scooper?

If you've just tuned in to my charming story of family drama you may want to start at the beginning with:
Part 1: The Prologue and
Part 2: Oh No You Di'int
..... as this is a continuation from those posts.

So where was I....

Oh yeah....

Well, now I'm pissed....because she's just creating stories now. my heart rate is pumping and I'm shaking from anger but still prepared to forgive. I won't forget it but I can forgive and move on. She is still family. So before going to bed I sent her the following message:

#1 You apologize for the hateful words in one sentence and 5 minutes later speak more nonsense.

#2 I think you've created conspiracy theories in your brain regarding being "deleted" from anyone's life...when in my eyes I feel I've been bending over backwards my entire life to reconnect with you and yours. If you feel isolated? You have no-one to blame but yourself. You're certainly not going to pin that one on me. I have never been anything but kind and loving and welcoming to you.

#3 I can't remember a time in my adult life when I've had someone say such mean things to me. At least to my face. And if you're saying that shit to my face? I can only imagine what's being said behind my back. And whomever said "words don't hurt" has never been smacked in the face with them by a family member. When someone verbally abuses me? I do not stick around for more. Sorry, that's how I roll. Hence, the de-friending. It's painful for me to see such hateful words spoken about me....especially from family....I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit around waiting to see what's going to be next.

#4 I have NEVER judged or condemned you for your struggles. I have never criticized you or thought less of you for your lack of money. Can you say the same? Because, just so you know, it's just as painful for me to hear my aunt judge and condemn me for being financially comfortable as I'd imagine it would be for you to hear me speak hatefully towards you for your struggles. You don't want anyone judging or condemning you? Well neither do I.

#5 I feel like I've spent my entire life bending over backwards trying to prove myself to this family. And I'm tired. I'm done. I don't know what I've done to deserve this and at this point I just don't give a shit anymore. I. am. spent.

#6 I am very sorry you're sick. I am very sorry you feel like shit. I am very sorry that you feel so little about the value of your life. But using that as an excuse to beat the people up around you...people who LOVE you.... is a cop out.

#7 Money does NOT buy happiness. Happiness is a choice. I have chosen to be happy and I feel like you judge me for that choice. YOU can choose to be happy...which is much harder and takes much more effort and courage than just isolating yourself. Your family loves you and wants to see you happy. But if you throw shit at me...you're gonna get shit back in the face.

I accept your apology and in my mind this is over and forgotten. I do wish I knew where all this came from but I'm not going to ask. I'll chalk it up to a bad week....we all have them....and move on. I am going to re-request your facebook "friendship"...you can accept it or ignore it...your call.

Either way? I love you. You are family and I wish you nothing but happiness.

But don't shit on me again....mkay?

Now, I don't feel that message was mean spirited or hateful. I feel I was simply defending myself....with maybe just a touch of "you're-not-going-to-walk-all-over-me-bitchiness".

She didn't see it that way....

All I can say is WOW...never have I been talked to so disrespectfully by one of the neices or nephews~ or anyone for that matter. Hope it made you feel better to get all that off your mind!!!

Well....

You call it disrespect? I call it sticking up for myself. AKA...wiping the shit off my face. Take care.

And the gloves come off....

You really think you are something don't ya Tammy? You are wiping the shit off your face that flew back from what you threw to start with. Live with it now!!! (interrupting this message to add....I'm rubber you're glue....kay...just had to get that off my chest) Hope it makes you happy to be the big shot who can be mouthy in an email. You're damn lucky we're not face to face right now! (dude...really? We've now stooped to threats? Nice) You may impress all your fellow burb friends (burb friends? Is this a new slang term for those of us that live productive lives?...I'm not familiar with this one) ...I AM NOT IMPRESSED by the fact that you have got to be one of the most disrespectful little girls I have ever met. Would you have said the same to Aunt A, or Aunt M...hell no cos you have a rep to keep up...like I said, NOT IMPRESSED.

You're absolutely right. I wouldn't speak to them that way...cuz they've never treated me so hatefully. Like I said...take care.

So, now I'm done.

At this point all hope of repairing any damage done is way beyond impossible.


Stay tuned, Part 4 coming soon.

Part 2: Oh No You Di'int

If you've just tuned in to my charming story of family drama you may want to start at the beginning with:
Part 1: The Prologue
...as this is a continuation from that post.


The rest of this story will be color coded. From here on out Aunt CB comments and messages will be in red and my comments and responses in blue. And added narration and unspoken/unwritten words/thoughts will be in black.


I posted the following status update on my FB wall:

My daughter made poor choices and must now face the consequences. So why am I the one feeling so guilty. I'm feel'n like a major schmuck for not letting her go to a birthday party tonight. =(

 

So, Aunt CB read my status update and felt a need to comment about our parenting decision.....

"Bit harsh for cutting a dolls hair, isn't it?"
"Yeah. It is. But that's not why she's grounded."
"Oh sorry....my bad!"

I then received several more supportive comments from various FB friends telling me that I was doing the right thing. So I posted the following comment:

"I appreciate the support guys. I don't doubt our decision....but that doesn't make it any easier. Maybe it seems harsh to some....but raising our kids with trust, honesty, and integrity is very important to Dan & I."

Now, that comment was in NO way meant as a derogatory slam comment to Aunt CB. After the events that followed, however, I can see how my use of the word "harsh" may have lead her to believe otherwise. In all honesty my OWN MOTHER had called to tell me that she felt I was being too harsh on her granddaughter and that she felt I should allow her to go to the birthday party. So that comment was not directed at Aunt CB....or my mom for that matter....it was simply my own way of trying to justify our parenting decisions out loud. But that's the problem with FB messages... and email...tones of a message cannot be heard through the written words. Facial expressions cannot be seen. So the written word can easily be misinterpreted. My tone in this message was not intended to be one of biting sarcasm....but rather one of parental resignation.

But Aunt CB didn't see it that way. As evidenced by the following comment that she posted:

"I think raising children with trust, honesty and integrity is important to MOST parents, Tammy. Sorry I said anything at all now. Gonna just shut up so as not to make ppl so damn defensive."

Followed immediately by her own updated status on HER wall that (and I can't copy and paste the exact words of her update because we are no longer "FB friends") said...and I'm going by memory here...but something to the effect of ....I'm so sick of snippy and defensive relatives who think they're better than everyone else just because they have money. They are no better than anyone else! There was more to it than that...it was longer than that....it was snippier and more hateful than that...but since I'm paraphrasing here I'm not even going to attempt it.


OUCH!

Now, I know I've said that the tone of a written message can easily be misunderstood....but I really don't think there's any chance of confusing the tone of that particular message.

So? I de-friended her on facebook...because who's gonna stick around for more of that garbage?....and sent her the following message:

Wow...I never realized how deep your hatred for me must run. To make such an impulsive and mean comment to me was completely uncalled for. The fact that "money" even came into this equation ....cuz where the hell did that come from....proves to me that this goes WAY beyond any comments from today. I've never thought or said I felt I was better than anyone. And if you think that? Then that is YOUR issue. Not mine. I'm truly sorry you feel that way....but it couldn't be further from the truth. The problem with facebook is....the tone of a comment is hard to read through written words....my comment about wanting to raise honesty in my kids was NOT directed at you or meant to be defensive in any way shape or form. I was simply trying to justify my parenting. Out loud. Why you would even think that it was directed at you is absolutely beyond me. But your nasty comment back was totally not called for.

And she responded with this:

I far from "hate" you Tammy. You're right, my nasty comment back was totally uncalled for and I apologize for that. Just having a really, really bad week. Treatments are getting more grueling by the week and I am getting weaker and sicker by the day. I took it out on you and for that I am truly sorry, Tammy. Please don't hate me, and please don't for a minute think I hate you. I wish I would have been a better aunt to all of you and a better mom to my kids. I wish I could just end it all without it affecting my kids....I would be so fucking out of here and then I wouldn't keep hurting people's feelings. Again, I'm sorry Tammy and I do love you.

At this point I had to leave for the evening extracurricular shuffle with the kids. I was gone for the next 5 hours. I was thinking during that time that I would return home and make peace. Call a truce. Let by-gones be by-gones. She is family. She is having a bad week. She is sick. She is sounding depressed and borderline suicidal. And this sounds a little like a cry for help.  And I'm typically not one to hold a grudge. It was during this 5 hours of my facebook absense that she had realized that I had de-friended her. And I returned home that evening to find this message from her:


Why am I NOT surprised that is was just easier for you to delete me off FB. Kind like ya'all did in real life, huh? I still love you though, deleted or otherwise

Well, now I'm pissed....

Stay tuned, Part 3 coming soon.  And be warned...if you'd like to continue reading this series without feeling physically ill?  You'll have to, at this point, lower your age and IQ by several notches because you're about to be transported back to 7th grade. 

Part 1: The Prologue

And the 1st in a serious of posts where I expose how crazy and dysfunctional my family is.

I debated on posting this for several reasons.

#1) I felt a little funny about exposing my family members' mental illness. But since I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist and clearly have no credentials that deem me qualified to diagnose the level of someone's craziness....I've decided that I'm not exposing their mental illness....just their cruelty and hatefulness.

#2) I'm embarrassed by my own behavior.... my own response to this woman's cruelty. I tried to be the bigger person but clearly I have issues with "letting things go". I'm not proud of that.

#3) I was worried that family members may read this. But I've reached the "fuck it" stage of anger and just don't care. And besides....there are only 2 family members (that I'm aware of) that have ever read this blog. One of which is my mother....and she already knows all that I'm about to post. And is totally on my side. She's my mom....she has to be. And the other? Well...I guess I'll have to deal with that if/when the time comes. And the rest of the people reading this don't know any of the parties involved so what do I care if they see my or my family's dysfunction? If I were smart....if I were rational....I'd give it a few days to let my anger cool before I hit publish. But I won't. I think there's a small part of me that HOPES they find this. Because I have since stopped responding to their hateful messages and this would be my last word....in a passive aggressive sort of way. Hey...we all have our issues.....at least I admit mine.


Why do I want to tell this story? Self defense. From here on out when a family member asks me what happened? I'll direct them to this post....so I don't have to re-explain everything over and over again when half the family is missing at the annual Christmas celebration. Trying to remember the sequence of events to paste this story together in a blog post has been very time consuming....and I really don't want to have to revisit this story or try verbally pasting it together again. I'm cleansing my sole. =)

Before I tell the story I have to set it up with a little background knowledge.

My father passed away when I was 5. My father was one of 8 kids. 3 of those 8 have passed away. That leaves me with 3 aunts and 2 uncles on that side of the family. After my dad's passing my family slowly lost contact with many members of that side of the family. I have several theories on the reason for this. One of which, not the least of which, is that my mom was a single full time working parent to 2 small kids. I imagine that it would be difficult and rather time consuming to maintain a relationship with all 7 siblings of your deceased husband's family. Just a guess. But she did the best she could and although contact with most of them was minimal we still made an effort on holidays and such.

Now I'm an adult. And in the early years of my adulthood I longed for a relationship with that side of the family. I longed for a connection to my deceased father's family. It doesn't require a psych degree to analyze the reasons for that.

And we now live in the era of booming electronic communication. And facebook. Gotta love that facebook. So in the past several years I've slowly regained contact with many of those family members that I had lost touch with. And I was happy about that.

One of my aunts on that side....we'll call her the crazy bitch Aunt CB....has had a rough life. A hard life. She made many poor choices early in life and is now paying for those choices with economic hardship and health problems that she has been and will continue to be receiving treatments for for a very long time. She has labeled herself as the "black sheep" in the family. Those are HER words NOT mine....as she has on more than one occasion told me that's how she feels. She has earned a reputation in the family as being a bitch difficult, opinionated, hot headed, and manipulative.

But she had never done anything to me personally so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I've seen her in action. I've seen the nasty spiteful way she speaks of and to other family members and have heard many stories of her hatefulness. But I continued to try to reconnect with her by inviting her every year to the annual Christmas party I host for that side of the family....trying my best to bridge the ever-expanding gap between her and the rest of the family....and myself. Her and one of her daughters (my cousin) had, in the past year, befriended me on facebook.

Brilliant.

Now, I had no delusions that this relationship would turn into anything more than the love of a family member. We would never be best buds or hang out or call each other on a Friday night. We have very little in common. And it seems that 90% of the conversations we've ever had has revolved around me listening to her complain about someone or something. But we are family. And I loved her as family and looked past....and never treated her any different because of....our differences.
It all started with a simple facebook update. An update that arguably probably shouldn't have been posted. It was a post about parenting issues and people always feel the need to share their opposing opinions when it involves parenting. Cuz if you haven't heard? "Opinions are like assholes....everyone has one".

My 6 year old daughter scalped the hair on her American Girl doll and then proceeded to formulate an elaborate lie about it and blamed one of her friends for it and then got busted. She got grounded and was not allowed to attend a birthday party because of it. Not for the scalping but for the lying.

I posted a facebook update about it and received a lot of comment feedback from FB friends. All of it was positive and supportive...... until Aunt CB piped in....

 
Stay tuned...Part 2 coming soon.