Thursday, November 11, 2010

Why I Will Never Eat Frogs:

In light of it being Veteran's Day and all I had to share this story....A little tribute to a brave soldier who just so happened to be my Grandpa. 

Before my Grandpa passed away several years ago I was able to video tape him telling the story of how he earned his bronze medal in WWII.  It's a story that my cousins and I have heard repeated many times during our lives and never tired of hearing.  The following story is directly from my Grandpa's mouth, word for word copied from the video tape.  For the full effect you must read it with a thick Italian accent.  =) 

Disclaimer: Please disregard the grammatical errors and politically incorrect references and keep in mind these are the words of a man with very broken English.

Grandpa's Bronze Star Frog Story

"It was the Isle of Biak.  Just south of the equator...close to the equator.  We were going to patrol through the jungle to see where the enemies are.  There were 5 of us - 1st scout, 2nd scout, radio operator, squad leader (he was an officer), and a radio guard.  So we were walking near a stream of water...not a river....just a small stream.  There was a lotta frogs.  Ribbit... ribbit.... ribbit...*insert grandpa's frog sound effects*.  When I went across on a bridge made of wood.  I don't know if the natives made that or if the Japanese were there before us.  So when you walk on the bridge the frogs stop making the noise.  I walk about 200 yards and I stop.  The patrol leader said "did you see anything, Marocco?"  I said, "I didn't see anything ahead of us but I'm concerned about those frogs."  He didn't know what I was talking about...he said, "what about the frogs?"  I said, "remember they make all that noise, then we pass and they stopped.  Now they should be starting again because there's no body there.  But they're still quiet."  He was pretty fast, he said, "you think some one's following us?" I said, "yeah...I think we got the Japs right on our back...they're following us."  He said, "OK, lets take cover." 

You know in the jungle it's easy to take cover behind the bushes.  They pass us...They were 12 of them....Only 5 of us....they were looking saying "where'd they go?"  So after they passed he (the squad leader) was in charge of it ~ he take advice from everyone.  I said, "I think we should follow them see where they are going."  So we did.  It was a whole battalion...a lot of Japs.  So, he said "we call the artillery"....they were about 5 miles behind us with the cannon.  They fire 1st round it was a little too short it was almost on top of us.  So the next one was right at the target...he said "FIRE FOR EFFECT" and they open up every cannon they had.  They blasted...they ruin everything.  So we went back to the company. 

The next day we went back there to see how much damage we did.  There was a lot of dead Japs but you know some of them got away.  They left behind a lot of food, even wine, so we drank their wine and that's it.  We went back (there was a ceremony) and one day a guy in a jeep came by and said "I'm looking for Private Marocco".  I said "I'm Marocco...what do you want?"  "Oh, the colonel wants to see you."  I had no idea what the colonel wanted. 

The Colonel said, "I want you to tell me about them frogs.  I got a report from your captain".  And so I told him ~ I said, "when I was a little boy in Italy I used to go catch frogs all the time and so I know when you walk by they stop making the noise...then after about a minute they start again....first one, then another, then pretty soon they all start.  And this time they were all quiet so it made me suspicious that we were being followed."  I said, "it sounds crazy but...." He said "No it doesn't, I'm gonna pass that on to all the training camps!  Everybody should know that!"  So I got a bronze star and that's it. 

I told the Colonel "I used to eat a lot of frogs ~ But I'll never eat another frog as long as I live ~ They saved my life!"

Friday Fragments

Welcome, to another addition of Friday Fragments...hosted by the fabulous Mrs. 4444 @ Half-Past Kissin' Time.

*Smurfette: "mommy, can boys have babies?"
Me: "No, honey, boys can't have babies."
Smurfette: "I know, mommy, I was only testing you."
*Dear baby girl, please stop testing me. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to continue passing your tests. When the whole "how do mommy's get pregnant?" question pops up? I'm totally cheating off Great Grandma's test and telling you "they swallow water melon seeds".

*Me: *singing to some tunes while cleaning my house*
Dreamy: MOM! PLEASE! 1st I had to go for an MRI this morning and now THIS??!! REALLY??!! How much can a kid take??!! *snicker*

*"Tiny long saggy boobies" and "little boobies nipples pictures" ...these are 2 recent google searches that landed someone to my blog. Seriously.

And so is this....word for word...copied and pasted....
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad And I’m still trying to figure out how that could be." ...I hope she wasn't looking at my blog for the answer!

*Had a fantastic morning with my kids at their school for "pancakes with parents". Only, they didn't want to sit with me. I tried to explain to them the meaning of "with parents"....but their buddies are more fun to sit with. Gonna have to work on that. I think I embarrassed them when I started belting out Josh Groban tunes. *no, of course I didn't.....YET!* =)

*I haven't even started Christmas shopping. There once was a time when I would have been completely finished by the end of October. *try not to gag*. I would get it all done in one long girls weekend shopping excursion. Now it's just a chore. I'll probably be one of those people at the store at midnight on Christmas Eve. I'm dreading it this year. I don't know why. I'm thinking about doing all my shopping on line this year. But then I can't bargain hunt for the sales. So....any suggestions? I like does anyone know of any great bargain shopping sites?

*Dreamy update - MRI was done Monday. Couldn't get in to see the doc for a follow up appointment to discuss the result of the test until NEXT Friday! ACK! But the good news is....he thinks it's getting better. He actually participated in gym yesterday and did a little running and jumping and woke up extremely sore just from that little bit of activity. He has lost all muscle tone in these 4 months of slothful living. And I'm praying this won't lead to yet another injury when he returns to gymnastics.

*We had Hefty's conferences last night and I'm enormously proud of him. Every one of his teachers had nothing but wonderful things to say about him. My personal favorites..."he's very hard working" and "he's very polite". Makes the recently discovered "eye rolling" seem a little less infuriating. =)

*I watched Hitch last night for the 374th time. And I laughed just as hard this time as I did the 1st time. Love that movie.

"Right. Well, see, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. So when I do this...
*twists his arm and slams him on the table* This is more like me saying that
I will literally break your shit off if you ever touch me again. mkay punkin?"
I really want to be able to use that line on someone in real life. Wouldn't that be "bad ass"?

*I steam cleaned all my carpets yesterday. The great room and 3 bedrooms. 2 hours after they dried? My dog shit on it. Why. do. I. bother?