Sunday, April 6, 2008

100 random and completely useless pieces of information about me...

1) I have a "thing" about feet. I hate feet. And yet I can't stop staring at feet.

2) As a nurse I can stomach just about anything...vomit, shit, lung loogies, oozing orifices....but a pair of nasty, old, crusty, flaky feet gives me a serious case of the willy shivers.

3) When I meet someone new...in the summer...if they have sandals on...The first thing I look at is their feet.

4) I'm more likely to remember what someone's feet look like than I am to remember their name.

5) It took me a very long time after marriage before I could stand for my husband's feet to touch me in bed.

6) I'm kinda like Eddie Murphy in Boomerang. Not that hubby's feet are gross...they're not....relatively speaking....but they're still feet....

7) I told my husband early on in our relationship that if he ever tried to suck my toe he'd likely end up with a bloody nose...not that he was suggesting it....but I thought I'd just lay the cards out on the table.... I think that's DIS.GUS.TING.

8) I think #7 should definitely be added to the "things you don't say on the first date" list.

9) I also have a "thing" about people pulling my toes. You WILL get kicked in the face.

10) My husband tried that. Once.

11) I have a Mega Millions lottery ticket still in my purse from 3 weeks ago. I could be a multi millionaire right now and don't even know it...which is why I haven't checked it yet...I like to drag out the suspense.

12) I have a cleaning lady.

13) I used to feel embarrassed and ashamed of that fact because as a SAHM I thought it was my "duty" to clean my house...Yeah, I'm over it! I have a cleaning lady and I now say that with PRIDE!

14) If I could afford a "cook" I'd have a cook too!

15) I hate to cook almost as much as I hate to clean.

16) I'm a lazy perfectionist. I actually read that description on someone else's blog and thought...that's a perfect description of myself. I like a clean house but don't like to clean...hence the cleaning lady....there's so many other things I'd rather be doing...like blogging....

17) If I could spend 24 hours with any man in the world (other than my husband) I would want to spend it with Will Smith. I ~ LOVE ~ HIM! He's my 24 hour man.

18) Eminem used to be my 24 hour man.  I found his bad boy image very sexy.

19)
20) I have a clock on the wall of my office that I bought over a year ago that I hate and have never put batteries in or set the time on...it's just hanging there...tormenting me....every. single. day. Why did I buy it? I thought it would look good. It doesn't. Why didn't I return it? I don't know.

21) I want a pool. Really bad.

22) Is there such thing as a yawning disorder? If there is, I've got it. Hmmm, I must go google this...be right back. Wow! There's aLOT of info out there about yawning and I don't have time to read it all. But I yawn aLAWT! I yawn when I'm tired, I yawn when I'm nervous, I yawn in anticipation...like when I know my husband is about to kiss me...he's starting to get a complex. I yawn even when I'm just THINKING about a yawn...like right now...see, there I go again. And it's not just a one yawn thing...nope, I'm a chain yawner....to the point of having my face soaked in tears.

23) I hate rodents. Like, really hate rodents.

24) My guinea pig is a rodent.

25) I hate and am deathly afraid of my Guinea pig.

26) I don't have the heart to stick arsenic in his food bowl but I have no qualms about begging my husband to. (To all the animal rodent lovers out there...please don't send me hate messages)

27) I had a MAJOR attitude problem as a teenager. Some might argue that I still do.

28) But I don't.

29) I often open my mouth before engaging my brain....which means I often walk away from conversations with a mouth full of foot.

30) I have 4 toilets in my house and at most given moments there are at least two of them plugged at a time....like right now for instance.

31) My Guinea pig is vomiting right now...maybe hubby actually went through with it.... uh-oh ....shit...how will I explain Cosmo's death to the kids...maybe I didn't think this through clearly enough...

32) If I loaned you and your family my van....and you found yourself stranded for...say...a week....you wouldn't go hungry....I'm thoughtful that way...

33) The only time my van gets vacuumed and cleaned is when my husband is too embarrassed to drive it...about once a month....he's the only one that has EVER vacuumed my vehicles.

34) I love my husband

35) My van is only 3 months old and it already smells like a fast food factory and curdled milk.

36) I don't embarrass easily.

37) WHEW....Cosmo is drinking his water....looks like hubby held off on the poison....DAMN!



38) I hate roaches even more than I hate rodents!



39) What's the name of that show where people do the nastiest things imaginable to win a pot of cash?...I'm drawing a complete blank right now...anyhoo...there's NO...and I mean nooooooooooooo! amount of money in the world that would entice me to be on that show!

40) My favorite show ever is "So You Think You Can Dance"...when it's on...

41) I like to keep the TIVOed episodes and when no-one is home I learn the dances in my living room.

42) I grew up dancing and miss it....aLAWT.

43) I used to be addicted to playing Euchre on yahoo games....until I discovered the bloggy world.

44) When I was little, I used to have to make sure that every square inch of my skin was covered by blankets when I went to sleep...because the "boogie man" would attack any skin that was showing.

45) I still have to be completely covered to this day...even if I'm roasting hot (which doesn't happen very often)...I have to be covered with a blanket in order to fall asleep.

46) I'm a neurotically punctual person. One time I was interviewing for an ICU position and the manager asked me "Would you say you have more "call ins / absences" or more "tardies"....I said "oh, definitely more call in's" with a very proud emphatic tone...he looked at me funny and I couldn't figure out why....I'm just not a quick thinker.... It dawned on me after the interview why he asked this and why he looked at me funny. I had to hunt him down in my neurotic way to explain to him...."the only reason my "call in's" out number my "tardies" is because I'm a neurotically punctual person...I've been working here for 7 years and can count on one hand the number of times I've punched in late...and every time was due to power failure...my alarm not going off...I'm not a delinquent....but I've called in a few times because I have kids...because kids get sick...and...and mom's get sick...and...k...I'll shut up now...I just had to tell you...because....well....just because". I felt like Elaine from Seinfeld.

47) I was offered the ICU position anyway.

48) I'm 75% Italian and 25% Belgium....I mean Belgian....Is that a word?....But my last name is Greek....no not SMURF....my MAIDEN name....

49) I spent 5 weeks in Italy with my brother and my maternal grandparents when I was 16 yrs old. We spent 2 weeks visiting and staying with family and 3 weeks touring. It was/is, to date, my favorite vacation.

50) I hope to visit Belgium sometime in the future.

51) One of my favorite things to do is sit with my Grandparents learning about my heritage. Going through old photos and documenting who the people in the photo are and who they are to me and my family.

52) I started a heritage scrapbook album last year but kinda fell off the wagon...not enough hours in a day.

53) I have a very keen sense of smell.

54) I can't hear worth a damn.

55) Premature hearing loss runs in my family.

56) I'll be wearing a hearing aid by the time I'm 40....& no I'm not kidding.

57) I'm a very impatient person. I'm an instant gratification kinda gal.

58) But I HATE impatient people behind the wheel of a car.

59) I have a lead foot in the car...I like to drive fast...but I'm courteous about it.

60) If I'm driving down the road and someone is riding my ass...I know they're just being impatient ass holes because I always go at least 10 over the speed limit (I probably shouldn't be admitting that). SO...I will purposely slow down to a snails pace just to piss them off until they get off my ass ....and when the kids aren't in the car I'll actually slam on the breaks...cause there's no quicker way to get someone off your ass than to scare the shit out of em .

61) And then when they drive past in a fit of fury flipping me off....I like to smile and wave.....or wink....or blow them a kiss...or some other smart ass gesture.... I have passive aggressive tendencies like that... and quite mature, aye?

62) My first car was purchased when I turned 16 at a car auction by my step dad. It smelled like mildew. I couldn't get the smell out and none of the electrical worked on the car....no dome lights...no break lights...no power windows...etc. Took the car in to have the electrical stuff looked at after the 1st week of having it and the manager of the shop called to tell me that he wouldn't touch my car because it had been completely submerged in water. I'm talking "sea weed in the tailpipes" submerged. The vision of dead bodies floating in my car forced us to sell the car a week after we bought it. I was devastated.

63) I have an irrational and unhealthy fear of dieing young.

64) My dad died when he was 28.

65) His sister died when she was 34.

66) That fear is what motivates me to scrapbook and journal in this blog. So my kids will know who their mother was and that I love them more than anything in this world.

67) I'm pretty sure I'll have a necrotic sore on my ass by the time I finish this damn post.

68) Deleted #68....trying to clean it up....You'll never know my deepest darkest secret....MWAHAHAHAHA!
69) I REALLY hope my mother's not reading this post!

70) I've been dying my hair since the year I got married at the age of 24. I started getting gray hair when I was in college. Now I'm about 50% gray.

71)
72)
73)
74)
75)
76) .

77)
78) 71 - 78 all deleted for inappropriate content. LOL
79) I fall asleep every night with the TV on...and then when my eyes finally start to get heavy I'll turn the sleep timer on for 60 minutes....if I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee (which happens alawt) I have to turn the TV back on and start the process all over.

80) I'm running out of useless little pieces of information about myself....hmmm.....

81) I gained 75 pounds with my first pregnancy, 45 pounds with my second pregnancy and 60 pounds with my 3rd....I was a little out of control.

82) When my husband and I decided to try for the 3rd pregnancy.... I wanted a girl so bad that I went to the library and took out the "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby" book.

83) I took notes.

84) For 3 months that book was my bible. We did EVERYthing we were suppose to do to have a girl. But we were unsuccessful.

85) We took the 4th month off from trying because my husband had to travel to Europe for 2 weeks in the middle of my cycle when I was suppose to be ovulating. No big deal we'll pick it up again the following month.

86) He returned home after two weeks to the "love shack" and we got pregnant....we did EVERYthing wrong.

87) I was convinced I was having a 3rd boy and so at my ultrasound I HAD to find out the sex because I needed the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy to get over the disappointment. I didn't want my first reaction when the baby was born to be..."SHIT!...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! ANOTHER BOY!!?? SOB!!!"

88) When the ultrasound tech told us we were having a girl I jumped up on the examination table (Tom Cruise style) and started doing the cabbage patch dance "oh yeah...I'mhavinagirl....oh yeah....I'mhavinagirl" and then I grabbed the tech's face with both hands and planted a kiss right on her lips....

89) OKAY...#88 isn't true....but it may as well be because that's what was going on in my head!

90) When I went for an ultrasound last week...it was the same woman who told me I was having a girl....I kissed her again...just kidding....I mean about the kissing her part...it really WAS the same woman.

91) The above facts just prove that whatever is meant to be will be and regardless of how much reading and research you do....fate canNOT be changed!

92) I don't remember ever being a girly girl. I loved to dance but that was about the extent of my girly girl tendencies. I have no recollection of playing with baby dolls or playing dress up or liking princesses and such. I remember asking begging for a doll house for Christmas when I was a kid...and I got the doll house but don't remember ever playing with it.

93) I remember riding my bike and playing cops and robbers and cowboys and indians and playing in the field behind my house with the neighborhood kids.

94) My daughter is a girly girl through and through.

95) She gets it from my husband....just kidding!

96) I worked midnights my first year out of college and I can honestly say that I would rather be homeless and destitute.

97) I'd work sifting through shit in a pile (yes I know that's not actually a job...I'm just saying it to make a point) with my bare hands and no face mask before I'd work midnights again.

98) I'm very allergic to cats.

99) I don't like cats.

100) My ass is numb.

15 comments:

Amanda said...

Tammy...I haven't gotten past number 11 on your list yet. Ya know why? Because numbers 1-10 were about feet and I think I'm going to throw up.

Amanda said...

Alright...I managed to hold it together to read the rest. And woman...we need to meet because I think you actually stole MY list. I can't think of many things on there that I couldn't (or haven't) said myself.

I am so glad I found your blog. Or you found me first. Or that I have this wine. Whatever...

pianomomsicle said...

i'm glad you have a foot thing. i've got a foot thing too.

"The Moment of Truth" is the show. And i'm surprised no one's killed anyone over it yet. It's coming.

We followed the "lunar calendar" so as to conceive a girl this time. (It worked with all 17 of my brother-in-law's nieces and nephews.) We get to find out the sex in about 7 weeks! Wish me luck!

If it ends up being a boy, it will take me months to recover, which is why i'm finding out:)

You're funny! i like you. Totally adding you to my blogroll, if you don't mind.

Marni Tiani Self said...

I remembered the other funniest thing...

I only had dreams about sex when I was pregnant with both kids and more with my son... but never ever in my life besides!

Marni Tiani Self said...

Wait, I just noticed my other comment I left earlier was missing? Am I losing my mind? I swear I left one... lol.

I loved the cleaning lady part. I have one too!

Bahama Mama said...

I've got #74 but would trade it in a second for #68 (not like I'm lacking but hey...) I can't stand when people cross my tose - makes me freak out.

Kate said...

Will Smith is MY guy too! LOVE him. I sneak out and watch his videos on YouTube and let my heart go pitter patter. He's yummy. But I think I'd need more than 24 hours.

Heather J. said...

You crack my ass up!
We're a lot a like....I'm not to sure if that's a good thing! lol
Though I love to clean and cook.....

LittlePaintedPolkaDots said...

You are hilarious. Shhh..(but I love feet) and every other thing that you mentioned in #2 makes me want to gag. How's the rodent? Did he survive?

Yeah,I can't wait to be a WAHM (or just a mom for that matter...lol). Those "people" are real douche bags and I can't wait to leave there.

Domestic Accident said...

Okay, I think I have a complex about my feet now. Clearly, this is a sign I need a pedicure before sandal weather.

I think I may have your same booty and boobs. Must be our shared Italian heritage.

And your story about your baby girl is so sweet. Gotta believe in fate.

Kellan said...

So many interesting things about you - WOW! I found #20 so funny - get a battery for that clock~!!

Hope you have had a good weekend - see you soon - Kellan

Miss Anne Derstood said...

I'm allergic to cats too!! And I hate them, except for my brother's cat Daisy. She's almost a people...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

So I'm guessing that you were somehow traumatized as a child by someone playing 'This Little Piggy Went To Market' with your toes?

Maybe it was the confusion of calling your little toe, a 'Wee-Wee' when it isn't actually a wee-wee and doesn't actually urinate.

My mom always says that my super-long toes look like E.T.'s fingers. :(

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

I'm with you on the boobs resemblance (76, I think). It's hard not to laugh when they begin rotating and smacking in the middle when I'm...never mind.

I, too, will have perky boobs again one day. They can stuff 'em up there after the body lift/tummy tuck!

BusyDad said...

Congrats on getting your list done! I just did my 100 list earlier this week as well. Word of advice. If you visit my blog, do not watch my W8Loss Wednesday video. It involves getting on a scale. What part of the body touches a scale? Yup. Stay away. I was thoroughly entertained by your list, btw.