Monday, June 9, 2008

More Marvelous Moments For ME!!

It's been another great M4M week!
WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN OR JUDGEMENTAL, OPINIONATED WOMEN. IF NAKED MEN AND DRUNK HORNY WOMEN OFFEND YOU....THEN EXIT THIS POST IMMEDIATELY.
CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!

M4M #1

I went Saturday night with a friend to a bachelorette party for my SIL's sister. We had a LAWT of fun.

From left to right: My SIL Monica,
Monica's sister and the bride-to-be Amy,
my friend Traci, and Me.

We spent the evening at their family owned bar drinking cocktails and watching each other being molested by a sweaty stripper with a mohawk and nasty, dirty, black feet.
Have I mentioned I hate feet?



I spent 5 years in college getting my BSN...it took me an extra year because I changed majors after my 1st year. I loved every minute of my college years but worked my butt off in nursing school. It was tough but I LOVED learning about the human body and what made it tick. Or not tick. Dissecting every square inch of the human body and learning about disease processes fascinated me....so studying to learn all of it was actually fun for me. I won't mention my Calculus class or Art History class as they bored me to TEARS (literally) and I just didn't "get" it. But the actual NURSING courses and clinical studies were fun. Nursing is certainly less than glamorous. In fact, it's about as UN-glamorous as it gets.....and very physically taxing. The hours spent standing were killing my feet and all the heavy lifting and bending over was tearing up my back. But I loved it. When I quit last year I was making $40/hour. I know speaking of your salary is taboo but I don't mind telling you that because I'm no longer doing it anyway. $40/hour is a decent living by anyone's standards. Not GREAT ....but decent. I would bring home about $250 for every 8 hour shift I worked....and I was happy with that.

I tell you that to tell you this....

That sweaty man with the mohawk and dirty feet charged $150 to walk in the door of the bar at 10:30pm and give the bride-to-be a "thrilling" lap dance. He then, for the next hour, made his way around the room giving women 60 second lap dances for the price of twenty bucks a pop. In the span of about 90 minutes this man had to have made at least $500.

I don't point this out to be judgemental and say "OMG he's taking his clothes off for money"....

I don't point this out to say that "I'm better for my college education".....

I point this out to say "there's alot of horny women in this world....so if you find yourself in the position of being unable to afford a college education....or if you don't think you have the fortitude to complete a tough educational program....there's still hope....God Bless America!"



K...that's enough of that.....I have many more pictures but lets just say they were even less suitable for a blog post than those that I actually posted.


M4M #2


I love summer. I love the sun. I love the heat. I love to sweat (but I do NOT like to touch other sweaty people!). This weekend was blissfully, gloriously, and fantastically HOT! Sunday was 92 degrees with a heat index of over 100 degrees. I also love flowers. They make me smile. So, earlier in the week I went here....




And wandered around aimlessly all by myself for almost an hour with a huge stupid grin on my face and my camera in hand. Flowers as far as the eye can see. Smiling.



So, I spent Sunday afternoon in the heat.....until sweat was dripping down from my forehead into my eyes and dripping from the tip of my nose to the cement and my shirt was soaking wet....planting my flowers uninterrupted.


My M4M was spent transforming my dull landscaping from this....


to this.....



And turning this....



Into this....


I still have 2 more flats of flowers to plant but I got a good start on it.


The last section of today's M4M post I dedicate to the delightful woman that stood in front of me in the check out lane at Meijers Sunday (yesterday) afternoon. There was a man in front of her with his items to purchase being scanned. He was an Asian man who was having difficulty speaking English. The cashier had already scanned all his items and he then said...."I no pay doze (pointing to the 2 cases of beer that she had just scanned last)...I pay deeze (pointing to the bagged items)...but my boss pay deeze (pointing back to the beer)" So I assumed he was trying to tell the cashier to put the beer on a separate bill because someone else was paying him back for them. So the cashier started deleting them from the previous order.

The woman in front of me was being nothing short of a bitch about this. She did the roll of the eyes and the loud obvious sigh and then turned to me and very LOUDLY said "And he couldn't have told her that BEFORE she finished ringing up the ENTIRE order??!!" If she hadn't had boobs I would have thought she was my 11 year old in disguise....I mean, she all but stomped her foot for cry'n out loud! And then shakes her head and rolls her eyes and sighs even louder in an attempt to get me to join in on her mean bitchiness. This woman was irritating me. She was being mean, nasty, and condescending.....and there are very few things in this world that piss me off more than mean, condescending people who kick other people in the shin to boost their own ego....

So, I looked her square in the eye and said....very pleasantly..."That doesn't bother me....I'm sure I've done the same thing at some point in my life....and I'm sure I'll do it again at some point in the future.... and I hope the person behind me will be understanding and patient."

This lady didn't get the hint....she then said "I've NEVER (said with dramatic hair flip) done that"....(pause)....."because the first words out of my mouth would be...'I'm not paying for that'..."

I was biting my tongue so hard I'm pretty sure I drew blood....as I was dieing to say "It must be a lot of pressure being so fucking perfect".....I'm very proud of myself for choosing to ignore her at this point. Anyone who knows me well knows how painful it was for me to keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure if I had opened my mouth it would've gotten ugly. There would've been a throw down between 2 middle aged women in the middle of Meijers......all for the sake of an Asian man who had no clue what we were saying. And I'm pretty sure she could have kicked my ass. (ps - would someone please teach me the proper use of the "ing" form of all the die, dye, lay, lie words?....I find it all incredibly confusing.)

Why are people so angry. What makes a person so angry and mean. At what point in this woman's life did it become OK to treat another human being like they were nothing better than the piece of shit she just stepped in. She could have just as easily smiled at the guy and given him a break.

So, I challenge you, the next time you're in a check out lane and the person in front of you does something stupid or something that makes you angry.....smile.....instead of making him feel like he's just ruined your day by taking up an extra 60 seconds of your time. Seriously....you've already lost that 60 seconds whether you choose to smile or be a prick so what would you lose by choosing to be pleasant?



14 comments:

Kelly said...

Tammy you should have posted the naked men part last because I could barely get through the flowers after that. Not sure what that part of your post was even about. You should have just bitch slapped the woman in meigers!!!!!! I had fun Saturday but should have went with you and Traci!!!! I'm always horny!!!!!!!

Tracey said...

What a great way to start a Monday!! Sweaty man....very funny!!! Flowers great choices....and rude lady....karma baby...karma.....GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Kate @ Life As I Live It said...

Looks like you had fun at the party! BUT, NO man should wear a thong. That's just wrong. LOL

Beautiful flowers! Don't you just love beautifying your yard like that? Looks great!

Kristin H. said...

Tammy, the sweaty man photos were too much!

Also, your flower heaven looked divine. I had a similar experience this weekend at our farmers market. I culdn't load up on stuff because I rode my bike and the basket wan't big enough. But I feel your love.

As for the incident in the store...just sad. Not a whole lot of tolerance out there. And eveyone is rush rush rush all the time. Sounds like that gal was not a happy camper, but rest assured, you gave her something to think about. You didn't even have to bitch slap her to do it :) Great post.

Colleen said...

What happened to Mr. Linky? Mine's up, too - going back to read just WHY you were grabbing sweaty man's butt. :O)
Read mine (not NEARLY as good as yours!

LittlePaintedPolkaDots said...

I love feet and that sweaty strippers feet were too much for even me! $20 a pop and he doesn't even wash his feet...sheesh!

Your flowers (and that heavenly place where you bought them) look amazing!!

WTG for not kicking that lady in front of you.

LittlePaintedPolkaDots said...

No Mr. Linky??? Check out my M4M post here.

http://littlepaintedpolkadots.blogspot.com/

Marni Tiani Self said...

Those pics are awesome.

Happy2bme said...

Looks like you all a good time.

I hate rude people!! One time I had 11 items in the 10 items or less and a lady made sure I knew she noticed. I remember getting into the line knowing I had 11 (it was extremely busy) but still get a grip!!

I wanted to participate in your M4M but I have so much going on right now that I haven't found the time to gather my thoughts on the weekend/monday mornings. I still love doing it. Didn't want you to think I forgot about you. BTW what happened to the Mr. Linky?

Have a great week.

Dana said...

I have my best friends Bachlorette party this weekend... I hope it is as much fun as the one you went too.. LOL...

Domestic Accident said...

Good thing I'm not easily offended and looking at sweaty pictures actually makes me smile!

Great post. I hate grumpy people at a store. Honestly, take a chill pill already.

Danielle said...

I have a bachelorette party this weekend and I hope I do not have a sweaty mohawked man rubbing his pelvis anywhere near me! Thanks for sharing. It looks like you had fun.

Bahama Mama said...

Woah - now that's a lot of juicy content. Let's see - slimy looking naked man (the dirty feet part I couldn't get past - I hate feet too), gorgeous flowers and what a beautiful home - and I totally agree with you on the lady in the line. Good for you for holding your tongue. I know I wouldn't have.

Chile said...

Maybe the woman in line just needed a sweaty almost-naked lap dance...