The Tale Of Two Horny Teenagers.

I’m so smart I scare myself. And quick. Quick like lightening.

For months (SIX months to be precise) I’ve been complaining about being unable to connect to the internet while sitting around for hours doing nothing at the gym with my kids. How nice would it be to have the ability to use my laptop to blog surf while stuck out here for 3 hours at a time.

I’ve been occupying my time in other (less fun) ways. Like reading princess books to smurfette….and coloring…..and doing puzzles….and eating…..lets not forget eating. BAH!

It came to me in a flash this afternoon. A flash I tell you…..SIX MONTHS after getting my laptop…..that I could just type up a post in Microsoft word and then copy and paste it onto my blog. Brilliant. Because I’m so lightening fast with solutions. I scare myself.

Tracey from Grace Comes By Hearing tagged me weeks ago to share the story of how Papa Smurf and I met. I’m just now getting around to it. And since this fits in well with Colleen’s Flashback Friday I’m actually killing two birds with one stone. (Yes, I realize it's Thursday but we're leaving tomorrow morning for Chicago)

Once upon a time there were two horny teenagers….

kidding…..

kinda…..

As much as I’d love to tell a wonderfully romantic tale of two lost teenage soles coming together in a moment of clarity….

I really can’t.

It’s more like a sordid tale of 2 drunken teenagers drooling over each other across a kitchen table playing partners in a game of Euchre.

But for the sake of my children who will no doubt read this one day I’ll try to spice it up a bit….

Lets see….remember my dear friend and running partner, “T”, that I’m always referring too? We’ve been friends for almost as long as I can remember. I’ve known her since 5th grade and we became friends in middle school. Well, she and another friend from high school, “L”, (her husband now) started dating the summer after our first year of college. We all went to college together. L had met and become friends with my (future) hubby during his college orientation the previous summer.

L’s parents went away on vacation for a week in June of 1991…or was it July…. and he had a party at his parent’s house. I went. FH (future hubby) went. The end.

Kidding….

Kinda….

I should probably back track a bit to tell you that at this time….the tender age of 19….I already had a plan. I already had family on the brain. I wanted to be married and done having my threepointfive kids by the time I was 30. I HATED dating. HATED. I was already dating with the idea that dating was a process of finding one’s “forever” mate. I had a journal. I actually wrote out in my journal all the qualities I was looking for in a man.

I was methodical.

I was picky.

The list was long.

So I’d go out with a guy once and find fault with him and never see him again. Go out with another guy….find fault with him….and never see him again. My room-mate and sweet mates harassed me for not giving a guy a second chance. For not being able to get past that first impression. For being "too picky." But to me….first impressions are everything. If on the first date I found something about the guy that rubbed me the wrong way….I saw no reason to go out with him again. There were a couple guys in there that I saw several times just to see if maybe a spark would ignite…because they were seemingly good guys…..but it never did. Oh, and there was that one jack ass I dated for a month. It was a free trip to Chicago...what can I say.

I found that my first impressions were pretty accurate.

So there I sat in L’s kitchen with a room full of friends (FH included) having a conversation.

Within the first hour of this conversation I was already thinking….OMG, now THIS is the type of guy I want to marry. He was perfect. Cute, intelligent, funny, down-to-earth, kind, sincere, personable….the list went on and on. And have I mentioned I’m a TOTAL sucker for a nice smile. I was instantly attracted to his perfect teeth. And those lips….oh my goodness those lips! And smile….*sigh*…..

I was smitten!

But wouldn’t you know it….he was already flirting with some other hussy at the party.

Bitch.

I left that party feeling dejected.

The following weekend came and T called to tell me that L was having another party and asked if I’d be coming. “Who all will be there?” I asked. She rattled off a list of attendees and then at the very end says “oh, and I think maybe (FH) will be coming too.”

I was giddy with excitement. Turns out the hussy from the previous week’s party stood him up earlier in the week. HA! Serves him right for flirting with a hussy! =)

Her loss.

So…party #2….

I went…..

Papa Smurf went….

Hussy didn’t go….

the end!

Kinda….

As much as I’d love to say that this 2nd meeting was an intellectual bonding of soles…..

It was, in truth, strictly guided by our mutual UNintellectual physical attraction.

We were Euchre partners.

He was a good Euchre partner.

He knew his trump.

I was turned on.

I’m easy.

As much as I’d love to say that we spent the evening talking and falling in love with each other’s incredible intelligence and wit…….

The truth is….I was in the bathroom going pee and a friend of mine shoved him in the bathroom while my pants were in the process of being zipped and the toilet had yet to be flushed.

We were quite mature...no?

As much as I’d love to say that he charmingly and graciously removed himself from the restroom before I was further embarrassed…..

He instead said “Um, well, I suppose I should kiss you so we have something for them to talk about when we go back out there.”……or something equally as awkward.

What can I say….he was as good at kissing as he was at playing Euchre.

Oh BABY….I hit the mother-load JACKpot!

Good Kisser….good Euchre partner…..what more could a girl ask for!!??

We clicked. It just felt right from the start. I felt at home. And almost immediately fell head over heels in love with this man/boy. We were engaged after 2 years of dating and were married 2 years after that ….the summer after we both graduated from college.

……….And we lived happily ever after.

Kinda.....

We've certainly had our fair share of bumps in the road of marriage but we've always come out stronger and closer in the end.

Seven years after our wedding during my 30th year we gave birth to our 3rd child. And the “point five” came several years later.

And now, 17 years after meeting this man/boy, I’m still head over heels in love. I’m still wildly attracted to his gorgeous smile and one of our favorite things to do still is play Euchre.

There’s something to be said for methodical plans.