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If you ever find yourself a little tipsy entertaining a room full of tipsy friends....and the conversation takes an inappropriate turn....and you make an inappropriate comment with sexual undertones....you should probably first check to make sure that your 11 yr old isn't within ear shot before making said joke. He just may call you on it and say "eh-hem....um...mom....you should probably be careful cuz I GET these jokes now...."
Your Welcome.
Tip #2:
If your child has a friend spend the night you should probably remember to feed them dinner BEFORE 10:30 PM. Cause....you know....when that child goes home and tells his mom that he wasn't fed until 10:30PM....and was ONLY fed at 10:30 PM because he reminded you that he was a little hungry.....you might look like an a** hole of a parent.
Your Welcome
Yesterday evening I opened the microwave to defrost something.......guess what I found.....
Give up?
I found an entire container of cottage cheese in the microwave.
I had a craving the evening before for some cottage cheese. I opened a brand new container of cottage cheese took a few spoonfuls and then instead of putting the container back in the frig....I put it in the microwave. Because you know with all appliances being stainless steel it's very easy to confuse a microwave from a refrigerator. I really scare myself sometimes.
On another note. I got an award yesterday from my dear bloggy friend http://jillijavagardenofeden.blogspot.com/. She had such nice words to share about me and she put a smile on my face. It's nice to know that SOMEone out there is enjoying my nonsense. I hope to pass that smile on to Marni at Marni's Organized Mess cause she makes me smile every day. This girl has a lot of energy....she's planning a wedding vow renewal for her and her husband, she's parenting two little ones, she seems to be at the beach or in the pool on a daily basis, she sells goodies for you and your hubby to enjoy =) and yet she still comes up with unbelievable Tackle It Tuesday projects every week. She has an overabundance of energy and I WANT SOME! So here's to you Marni....cheers!
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20 comments:
Were you tipsy when you put the cottage cheese in the microwave?? LOL
Yeah, I can see how you could confuse the two. :) Congrat on the award, of course, and also for possibly scarring your 11 year old for life. Well done! :)
Your honesty is refreshing :)
I so totally love you. Thank you.
I LOVED this blog too. Hilarious good tips! hahaha!
I should probably add ....I mean so don't look like a TOTAL a** hole....that all of these instances occured on different days and only ONE incident involved alcohol...and that was at our 4th of July party.
Which...now that I think about it....may make me an even BIGGER a** because I actually do these things sober.
Hilarious post!!
One time I came home from the grocery store and put our meat in the pantry instead of the freezer. Didn't find it until the next morning when we went to get the cereal out. It was 2lbs of hb and a pound of chicken all still nicely tucked in the grocery bag sitting on the shelf. It was sooo disgusting but a good laugh.
I like Marni's blog too! Good choice.
great tips.... YOU ROCK!!
Hysterical. Love those tips. #1 will definitely come in handy.
HA! I thought I was the only one who did these things.
I usually just lose my cup of coffee and later find it in the microwave.
rofl~ love these tips! I have often caught myself before saying something I shouldn't. (I have a 14 yo stepson) um. Except for this one time, at new years. I ended up prank calling some of his friends with him. Oh geez! The things alcohol can do. Loved your post!
I am in DEEEEPPPP trouble when my kids start understanding what I'm saying . . . ugh!
I put dirty dishes in the refrigerator yesterday . . . ya, losin' it a bit.
Have a drink tonight - it'll help ;-)
Oh my goodness woman - you are too funny! I've found cartons of ice cream in my refridgerator before - we have a side-by-side fridge and NO idea how they got there. :O)
Here by way of POW.
Funny post! Love the tips!
Terrific tips.
I'll bear those in mind. Bound to come in handy!
I find weird things in our fridge all the time! Missing something? Check the fridge!
Maybe I should hold off on that stainless steel upgrade.
That is so funny! thanks for the great tips... Makes me nervous, my three year old daughter is already mimicking everything that I say. Happy POW!
Hi Tammy - Thanks for visiting my site! Come back soon! I have read bits and pieces on your blog at diff times,b/c we have some e-friends in common, but don't know if I ever commented. So consider me delurked. Especially liked this funny post. Have a great night! Allison
I routinely put drink containers in the cupboard where my cups are- I have no idea why I confuse the two, but I've ruined more pitchers of orange juice than I can count! :)
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