The difference between boys and girls.

On a school night....


11 y/o boy- Mom can I PLEASE stay up a little longer. Please. I just want to see the end. Can I finish this game? Why? Why not? OMG. Rolls eyes. Stomps feet. Can I at least say good night to Rosie. Gosh. The sky is NOT blue. It's periwinkle.

Me - It's time for bed. Keep your hands to yourself. Stop wrestling before someone gets hurt. Did you brush your teeth? Go brush you teeth. Go brush your teeth. Stop stalling. Go brush your TEEEEEEEETH! Quit arguing. 30 minutes after he's in bed I open his bedroom door to discover he has wedged a pillow case under the door so I won't see his light on in the room because he is in bed playing his gameboy instead of sleeping. GO TO SLEEEEEP! I love you.


9 y/o boy- While he's suppose to be brushing his teeth he screams in pain after hitting his back on the bathroom faucet while trying to get a good look at his wedgie in the mirror by standing on the counter. (I couldn't make this up if I tried). Oh wait mom I forgot to do my homework. Can I get a snack? Where's my backpack? I'm hungry. Where's my homework? I think I left it at school.


Me - Quit waiting until I say it's time for bed to decide you need a snack. Go brush your teeth. Keep your hands to yourself. Quit wrestling before someone gets hurt. Quit screaming. QUIT SCREEEEEEAMING! Go brush your teeth. Quit making goofy faces in the mirror and BRUSH! Quit stalling. I love you.


5 y/o girl- Picks clothes out for school the next day. Lines up her shoes next to said outfit and stuffs clean matching socks in them. Brushes her teeth. Are my teeth shiny mama? She comes from her room 20 minutes later....come in my room mama I have a surprise for you. I enter her room to discover she has lined up her shoes neatly on the floor of her closet. I'm tired. Who's turn is it to tuck me in tonight?


Me - You're such a good girl. I love you. Good night.


Before school -


11 y/o boy- (10 minutes after waking) I can't find anything that matches. I don't have any clean jeans. I think I left my back pack in the van. I can't get my contact in. Can you put my contact in? I don't need a coat. I don't want a coat. It's NOT cold. It's chilly. He's out the door and 30 seconds later returns to tell me he forgot he needs 50 cents for bagel day.

Me - The laundry is all washed. Where are all your jeans? You have no clean jeans because they're all shoved on the floor in the corner of your closet. Hurry up. Quit goofing around and brush your teeth. Please be quiet your sister is still sleeping. Hurry up. Be quiet. Quit goofing around. Where's your coat. You're going to miss the bus. Quit arguing. I love you. I walk to the kitchen after he leaves and find his back pack on the kitchen table. He has already gotten on the bus.

9 y/o boy- (15 minutes after waking) I have no clean gym pants. Where are all my gym pants? Can you find me something to wear? I can't find matching socks. Where's my shoes? Did you put my back pack somewhere? Takes 20 minutes to brush his teeth and put his contacts in because he's wasting all his time making goofy faces at himself in the bathroom mirror.

Me - All the laundry is washed. Where are all your gym pants? 9 y/o goes to his gym bag and proceeds to pull out 6 pairs of filthy, stinky, chalky gym pants. That's why you have no pants to wear. Hurry up Dreamy it shouldn't take 30 minutes to eat a bowl of cereal. Hurry up. Quiet down. Quit goofing around. Go brush your teeth. The bathroom is THAT way....turn around....walk to the bathroom...and BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Quiet down your sister is still sleeping. Your going to miss the bus. Quit goofing around. I love you.

5 y/o girl- Comes from bedroom 5 minutes after waking her up. She is dressed. She has her shoes on. She walks to the pantry and picks out her breakfast. She eats her breakfast in 5 minutes flat all the while chatting pleasantly about the day to come. She walks unprompted to the bathroom and brushes her teeth. She comes out 5 minutes later. Are my teeth shiny mama? She walks back to the bathroom unprompted and brushes her hair. She returns 5 minutes later with a "pretty" for her hair. Does this headband match mama? She goes to the toy basket unprompted and pulls out a toy. I will bring this for show and tell today mama. I know today is show and tell because we had art yesterday and show & tell is always the next day. She walks to her backpack. She puts her toy in her backpack. She pulls her lunch box from her backpack. She walks to the kitchen unprompted and begins filling her lunchbox with a smuckers peanut butter and jelly sandwich from the freezer, a fruit cup, and one piece of candy. She walks back to the pantry and gets a chocolate milk. My lunch is made mama. Did you sign my paper mama? Lets go mama. I don't want to be late mama. Is it time to go yet mama? PLEASE mama let's go. We can't be late.

Me - You're such a good girl. I love you. Have a good day at school.

After school....

11 y/o boy- Can I please wait to do my homework? It's not due till....? I got detention for not getting this paper signed. Can I please call....? I'll do my homework later. It is NOT raining. It is drizzling.

Me - Please do your homework. Where is the paper I need to sign? Quit arguing. I love you.

9 y/o boy- I couldn't find the homework I did last night so I got detention. I forgot my book at school. Takes 3 hours to do a homework assignment that should have only taken him 15 minutes because he's been hard at work picking the dirt from under his fingernails.

Me - Do NOT forget your book tomorrow. Please find the homework you did last night. And PLEASE stop picking your fingernails and finish your homework. No more goofing around. I love you.

5 y/o girl - I have homework mama. She sets it on the table. She finds a pencil. She finds a pair of Scissors. She finds a glue stick and completes her homework. She places her homework (unprompted) into her backpack.

I love them all.

Of course.

But I don't care what anyone says....

girls....

are....

easier...

and SO much more organized!