"What Up Dawg!"

That, my friends, is my 1st born's hospital photo. I'll save his birthing story for another day. I wasn't awake when he was born & I only saw him briefly when I woke up in recovery. But my first thoughts and words when I caught that new mommy glimpse of him was "OMG he's perfect. He looks just like his daddy." I thought he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. We now jokingly say that this is truly a face only a mother could love. With that big ole' melon head...and the resemblance to a Chinese sumo wrestler. Kinda looks like he's say'n "what up dawg" with his head cocked slightly to the left and fist in the air.

But I digress....

It was recently brought to my attention by a fellow parent/neighbor/friend (the parent of my son's best friend) that this handsome and charming child of mine is apparently the "it" boy in all of 6th grade. The one that all the girls are dreamily swooning over.

I've seen the signs but chose to ignore them.

One day at a park I watched as he was approached by a boy in a younger grade at his school. This child approached my son with a dim witted grin and a star struck gaze...."are you Hefty?"....."yeah"...."as in Hefty SMURF?"......"um, yeah"....and the child ran off giggling....Hefty Smurf then looked at me and shrugged his shoulders and shook his head as if to say "kids these days."

He recently was called (we weren't home) by a girl who was hoping to invite him to a pool party with other girls. I was informed by a parent that these girls were prepping themselves with lemon juice (for their hair), ridiculous amounts of makeup, and bikinis that would have made Pamela Anderson blush. These girls have just finished 5th grade folks. I'm talking 11 years old.

My SIL was recently teasing my son about my niece's friend who has a big crush on HS. She came to our house with my niece for our New Years Eve party and was apparently commenting on HS's...physique. It makes me uncomfortable. He's 11! He's a child. QUIT IT! I don't like all this talk and teasing from my adult family about boyfriends and girlfriends and dating....he's a CHILD! So I jokingly said (but wasn't really joking) - "HS, your only eleven years old....relax....you're too young to be talking about girlfriends" to which he jokingly replied "WHAT!...I can't help it if I'm buff and good looking!"

This is the same child that still has arm pit fart contests and still cherishes his favorite toy....the fart master machine.

I recently approached my son when I saw his nasty unbrushed teeth caked full of food and grime and said "Hefty Smurf! Go brush those nasty teeth! What girl is gonna want to kiss that nasty mouth!"

I know, I know....that statement automatically disqualifies me from this year's mother of the year award. Believe me...the second it came out of my mouth I regretted it....but I sometimes open my mouth before engaging my brain.

That CHILD.....this 11 year old CHILD of mine replied by smugly saying "I already KNOW a girl that wants to kiss this mouth!"

Oh dear God help me. Help me keep this child a child for just a little while longer. He's in such a hurry to grow up and it is scaring the hell out of me.