Friday, August 22, 2008

Should we stay....or should we go.....

As much as I need to stay away from this computer to get ready for our departure tomorrow...I just can't do it. I'm addicted to blogging and the support, encouragement, and advice from comments.

I have an overabundance of nervous energy right now. And find no solution but to write it out. Unless, of course, someone has a spare Xanax or Valium they can send my way.

My nervous energy is completely premature and unnecessary at this point. But I'm a basket of nerves non-the-less.

Hubby came home from work 2 days ago and said the following...

"I had an interesting conversation with C (his boss) today. We were discussing the issues our company is having with our European operations and he (kinda) jokingly said...'so, do you want to move to Italy to run and "fix" our European operations'....Papa Smurf said he sorta blew the comment off but then looked up to find C silently looking PS straight in the eyes with a smile on his face waiting for a response.

Papa Smurf just laughed it off without responding.

My immediate response was HELL no.

But as the night progressed I found myself thinking about the possibilities. I was getting more and more intrigued and excited.

I even spent 2 hours on the internet that night trying to look up Italian real estate.

2 years in Italy.

What an adventure it could be for our whole family.

Some of the positives......

We have (distant) family in Italy as 3 of my 4 grandparents are either from Italy (my maternal grandpa) or are 1st generation Americans (my maternal grandma's and paternal grandpa's parents were born in Italy). What a fantastic experience it would be for my kids. I may finally learn to speak Italian. My kids would learn to speak Italian. We could use this experience to travel all of Europe. This opportunity will probably never come again. Family and friends could come visit.


2 years without our family and friends (my parents live right down the street from us, folks....and I live within a 5 mile radius from almost every other family member). New culture. New schools. What about gymnastics & dance classes? Where would we live? What about our home here? How do you transfer all your savings to Italy? Do we close all our accounts here? Would we have to live without our "stuff" or do they ship all our belongings? How would this effect my kids emotionally, socially, psychologically, educationally? Our dog!!??? What about our dog??!!

The questions keep coming and the anxiety is growing and yet I can't help but be a little excited at the prospect. And this all stemmed from a seemingly innocent question from my husband's boss.

So, we asked the kids how they felt about it. The boys shrugged their shoulders...looked a little apprehensive while saying "I don't know...It'd be scary but it'd be kinda fun." My daughter's response? "Would Grandma move with us?" "No....but she'd probably visit....and we'd come back to visit"......"then I don't wanna move."

I told my husband to look more into it. Get some questions answered. He's a little scared to bring it up because he feels he'd be opening a can of worms that would be difficult to close. But he sent his boss an email yesterday saying "So how serious were you yesterday when you asked me if I wanted to go "fix" Europe" his boss replied with "hmmmmm, sounds like we should talk".

I called my mom and within 5 hours me, my Mom, my Grandma, and one of my brothers were signed up for beginners Italian language classes at the Italian - American Cultural Center.

Premature? Absolutely! But the language course is something I've been talking about doing for years and now with all the kids in school full time I can actually do it.

I'm jumping out of my skin waiting for my husband to find out more. Which probably won't happen until after our trip. He's crazy busy at work right now trying to prepare for this vacation.

He's not sure the company would seriously let him go...he's involved in too much here and has too many things on his plate for them to just let him go. IF it did happen it would be many months from now and he's not sure they're willing to wait that long to "fix" Europe.

I'm a very status quo kinda gal. I don't like change. I don't like to "shake things up." And I'm NOT spontaneous....I'm a planner. And I have an unhealthy fear of the unknown. I love my life. I'm happy here. I'm right where I want to be. Couple that up with my slightly high strung nature and O......M.......G..........

And yet.....passing up an opportunity like this (assuming it IS an opportunity) would just be a damn shame. Even I recognize that. It's only been 2 days since this topic came up and already I feel like I might be a little disappointed if nothing comes of it.

So what do you think? Would you do it? Keep in mind I have 3 kids (11, 9, and 5).


Kori said...

Your comment about being a status quo kind of gal? totally me as well. But if this should prove to be a real opportunity, I would SO take it up if I were you. Two years sounds like a long time but is, really, just a drop in the bucket.

Anonymous said...

You should go. You will end up kicking yourself if you don't. We consider it all the time. My husband's profession could take him to universities oveseas, so it's not unlikely that we could travel this road in the near future. Your children have more to gain than to lose from this adventure. And you would probably rent a furnished home. And the dog would go with you. And it will be grand. Hell, I might kick you if you don't go ;) (you might not want to come back.)

Carol said...

You forgot to add these to the pro's list.

Bountiful and beautiful history everywhere.

Italian shopping last time my mother in law went she came back with 9 pairs of shoes

Italian food and ice Cream.

Italian men....oops, that slipped out.

Do it!!! What an amazing adventure.

Christy said...

I would definitely do it! It only for two years - not the rest of your life. And like you said, what a great experience for your little family!

THopgood said...


shhhhh....don't tell my husband about the shoes or he'll for SURE put a stop to this...


Colleen said...


Quite the dilemma, but if the opportunity truly arises, I think itd be a shame to let it go! Its an opportunity of a life time! You won't be able to completely replicate your life in Italy, but think of all the NEW things you'll experience and get a chance to make a part of your life!

Two years would pass so quickly you'll never realize how long you're gone. You'd probably have lots of family come to visit with you, and you'll build so many memories that will shape your kids' futures! I say GO!

Tracey said...

I think with your kids being the ages they are and with you being an at home mom in would be AMAZING!!!! GREAT EXPERIENCE! The only thing I would look at is can you afford it...I unfortunately look at everything through eyes of $$$$. But if the money thing is ok YES! YES! YES! GO FOR IT! WHAT A GREAT ADVENTURE! EXPERIENCE! CHANCE!

OH, one more answer would be no if that means you have to leave all us bloggers too...will you take your blog with you, i hope....let us know! Best Wishes!

pss...the word verification i had to type in was pizzayzzz....looks like pizza yes...and that must mean Italy yes! ;-)

Kate @ Life As I Live It said...

Oh Tammy, seriously, I hear ya on the being a planner thing. I'm that way too. But when faced with such an amazing possibility, I would pluck up my courage and GO. Really, two years would fly by and be such a great learning experience for you and the kids. I mean, for kids to get a look at how another culture lives? Priceless. New language & traditions? Even better.

I am super close to my dad so I know what moving away from family would be like. It WOULD be rough, but it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. And the kdis are young enough to be adaptable, yet make lasting memories. It would be harder if they were teenagers, but I think now is the perfect time.

If this truly IS a real possibility, I think you'd regret not doing it. The details will work themselves all out. And likely the company would pay to move you, etc. so don't let the details stop you from considering it.

Of course, if it were me I'd jump at the chance and resign myself to the fact that I'd come home 50lbs heavier from all the Italian food. :)

Leslie said...

ABSOLUTELY! Without a doubt, YES! I would do it and then do it again. Look at me. Of course we are military, but the details can be worked out. And you can take your dog. People do it all the time. What an opportunity. (if it does present itself) Yes, two years isn't that long, but what you will gain in return will be priceless. Your children are still young, you definitely would have a much more difficult time if they were in high school. But those ages are much more flexible. Ask the questions that need to be asked, and if all else fails... rent out your house like we did. (since the market was/is totally horrible) And then you have someplace you can come back to. I say go for it, all the way. But plan too. That's a good thing! I'm excited for you too! Try not to stress over it too much. I know, easier said than done. :)

R.L.Scovens said...

I say go for it! The chance may never come around again. My 2 years in Germany were my best 2 years EVER!

Anonymous said...

Uh, I'd jump at the chance. How many kids get a chance to do something so amazing? Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? That place is heaven. Being bilingual? What a gift for your kids? Go, go, go!

In the wise words of Tom Cruise before he went crazy, sometimes you just have to say what the f**k.

EatPlayLove said...

Go, Go, Go! and don't let your mind convince you otherwise, this is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity!

One of my only regrets is not taking a job my husband and I were offered while staying in Rome. I wish I did. I LOVED Italy.

I believe someday I will live in Italy!

Or if you go I can live vicariously through you.

(ps if you email me, I have a few links to blogs of Americans living in Italy!)

Brooke said...

GO! GO! GO! I am so jealous! It is scary to make that huge of a jump, but you'll be glad you did it! Just imagine saying "Yes, yes, I lived in Italy for 2 years, it was amazing!"

Breanne Vasquez said...

Oh wow - I have no idea if you should go. It would be a great experience for yall. I know though I pray all the time I don't get a post outside of America.(that is just me though)

It would be nice for a few years. Well - I guess you should do it - if the kids think its ok. I bet it is so pretty there.

April said...

I completely think you should do it!! What an amazing opportunity for your family.

Kash said...

Holy cow, well you know what I would say. Go for it, hit the ground running and don't look back! The kids will love it and grow sooooo much beacuse of it. Italy has everything America has plus it will give your kids an education you can't pay the best private school in America for. Let us know how things pan out. What a shocker!

LittlePaintedPolkaDots said...

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I am excited and nervous for you. Please keep us posted!!!

Mama Zen said...

I would totally be freaking out, too! What an amazing opportunity, but what a huge change!

Bahama Mama said...

OK first off - where is it in Italy? Italy is just about my favorite country on the planet. You would love living there. We have a house there and go most every year. You MUST go. If you don't you will regret it for your whole life. It's not forever - only 2 years and you will be back. The kids will love it. Emily loved the adventure of moving here and adjusted more quickly and easily than either me or hubby. She was 9 when we moved so the same age as yours are. There would be an American school so they would get to experience the culture, learn the language but still be comfortable. The dog could go too - no quarantine. It would be fabulous!! Picking up and oving overseas is a great adventure - trust me.

common mom said...

What an ADVENTURE!!! If it were 1 year, I'd say go for it - you have nothing to lose, and what an AWESOME adventure and learning experience, especially for the kids.

But, 2 years . . . that makes me shutter. That's a lot of missed time with family and friends and school.


We were given a similar "kind of" offer to move to Dubai for 6 months . . . I'd go in a heartbeat . . . what an experience for the kids and me and everyone. We could do anything for 6 months . . . any longer than a year, I'd have to seriously think about it. We live away from family - but see them often enough considering. Living so close to family like you do, it would be SOOOOO difficult to go.

Tough call . . . but have I mentioned the adventure? ;-)

Dana said...

i WOULD DO IT... Your children are young enough to be able to readjust ya know.. And besides what a great opporutnity!!

Kelly said...

I would say, "NO!!!!".....then I would call your dear dear friends Randy and Kelly and invite them over for an Italian Dinner!

Love Randy

OHmommy said...


So THIS is what you were talking about it.

My advice. Do not live your life thinking about the WHAT IFS. You are the author of your life.

Happy2bme said...

Tag you're it! If you've already done this no worries. Stop by when you can.

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