Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year.

Many people bombard you year after year with ridiculous requests for Christmas.


I'm so sorry for their greed.


My list is short. I'm sure you'll agree.


Not only is my list short but it's also very practical. It's a practical list with items that are necessary for any mom to be a GOOD mom.


So, without further ado, here is my *short* list.....

1) These boots are certainly *necessary*. I live in MI. MI is cold. My feet need to stay warm to maintain my health. I need my health to be a good mom. UGGs are necessary.



2) I've had my eyes on these for awhile now.....please remember that the cost only reflects their superior comfort....Cole Haan is a master in the art of foot comfort and deserves to be rewarded.....comfort is a *necessity* for any successful mother....you know....with all the running around I do for them.....

They also come in black. I'm not choosy....surprise me....



3) I've been pining for this item below since last May. Remember this post? I'm still trying to come up with a believable "it's a necessity" argument. I'll have to get back to you on this one....but trust me....it's *necessary*.....


3) And a watch (such as one of the two below) is necessary for a busy mom like myself to keep track of time. I'm sure you'll agree that this is more a *necessity* than a *want*. And please pay no attention to the price tag as the cost only reflects it's high quality craftsmanship and reliability. Which, again, is *necessary*.




4) Now this....this fine item below with all its sparkley bedazzlement is a *want*....definitately a want..... but, in keeping with the *necessary* theory..... it's *necessary* for a mom to get an occassional *want* so that said mom can be a happy smiley mom....no?

5) Gift certificates are good too. I'm not one to scoff at a gift certificate as a cop out gift. I know you're a busy man. Any gift certificate will do.....but a gift certificate to......

So that I may pay this man a visit.....

So that he may transform my body from this.....

To this.....

Would leave me forever grateful.....ummmm.....and healthier.....yes, definitely healthier. Because we all know that less body fat = more energy = healthy = ......nec-ess-ary!

6) Or how about a family trip to Italy. It's so very important and *necessary* to teach our children the art and culture of our heritage.

7) Looking for a stocking stuffer idea? How about this?.....

With a little of this......

Please keep in mind, Santa, that cost is relative. My list is really quite practical. While others are asking for world peace and an end to world hunger....yeah right, like you could ever afford THAT tall order.....I'm merely asking for several *small* items. Items that you'll no doubt agree are *necessary* for me to be a good mother.

Um, yeah, about that Kindle....also very *necessary*...reading is educational....moms need to be educated....therefore....Kindle = *necessary*!

Today's Random Act of Kindness.

I've made a goal for myself. To partake in at least one random act of kindness each day.

Today, I dedicate my RAOK to you....my dear bloggy friends.

Today is about making you feel better about yourself!

If you don't already know I started a fitness program at my gym a couple weeks ago. Along with the fitness program comes a nutrition consult. They give us individual nutrition plans that follow the diabetic exchange chart program. Any time I try to follow a program that limits starch/carb intake I struggle with coming up with satisfying snacks. I have a major sweet tooth.

A LONG time ago...I found the perfect carb friendly snack. This carb friendly snack provides sweetness to satisfy my sweet tooth without the carb calories.

Sugar free jello topped with a dollop of sugar free cool whip. I love cool whip and the sugar free tastes JUST like the real stuff. So I ALWAYS have sugar free cool whip on hand in my frig.

Always.

Yesterday, I went into my frig to satisfy my sweet tooth.

I pulled this out....

And found this......

Not only have I succeeded in making you feel better about yourself.... I do believe I have also succeeded in helping you all along in your own quest for weight loss as I'm sure I have now destroyed your appetite. So, technically, I think this one RAOK satisfies tomorrows RAOK quota as well. Two birds with one stone. I'm all about efficiency.

Greed at it's finest

This just makes me want to vomit. And we wonder why our country is falling apart at the seams? Here's one of the reasons......



If the video doesn't work....try this.

As good luck would have it....

I returned home yesterday from my "Team Fitness" class at the gym. I was tense and tired from my strenuous workout. I had been looking forward to coming home and taking a little cat nap. I drove up my driveway and saw a box on my front porch. I thought the box contained the wrist guards I ordered for my boys. Dreamy's wrist has been bothering him in practice and coach told me wrist guards would help.

But the box did NOT contain the wrist guards.

The box was for ME. That never happens. The only things I get in the mail are bills and junk.

The box contained THIS:

Before I continue any further I just have to tell you all that I'm like the luckiest person you know. Seriously. I win EVERYthing. Always. I have won almost every single center piece to every single shower that I've ever been to. And when I enter a raffle....I almost always win. It's freaky. I won the grand prize at my high school senior all night party. A refrigerator for my college dorm room. Hubby and I won a 52 inch TV grand prize at his work Christmas party back in 1996 the day before my 1st child was born. We also won a 36 inch flat screen TV at another work party. Put it this way....we have 5 TVs in this house and we JUST bought our 1st TV last month. Every other TV has been won through a raffle. I won my KitchenAid mixer. We've won gas cards...we've won gift certificates. My house is littered with shower center pieces and door prizes. I've also won many scrapbooking items at various scrapbooking events I've gone to.

Is it bad luck to say I have good luck? I may be jinxing myself.

The following pictures are just some of things we've won over the years.....

Last week Marni had a giveaway on her blog. I took one look at a picture of this contraption on Marni's blog and (knowing what she does for a living....for those not in know....she sells "adult toys") laughed and said what the hell do you do with that thing. My imagination was running amok. But I read on to discover that it is a Head Massager.....I could insert a ridiculously childish and trite comment about it being for the head aBOVE your waste....and of course tell you to get your mind out of the gutter.....but I'll spare you.

And I WON! I WON!

THIS....

So I sat on my great room floor and tested it out. And I couldn't stop laughing long enough to get a decent meditative photograph. I felt like a fool with an unidentifiable object on my head in my living room trying to take photos of my self. I kept thinking please Dear Lord don't let a neighbor walk up to my front door and witness this.

My kids woke up for school this morning and found this on our coffee table. They thought it was a hoot. It entertained us all. They were in stitches when they found out what it was and couldn't stop giggling with it on their head. We are easily amused and entertained. It tickles. It vibrates. It feels bizarre. "Mom, even my teeth are vibrating," "DUDE, it tickles all the way down my back," "Mommy, I think even my butt is vibrating."

Marni you rock! Thank you again! You made my day.

But what if the old dog WANTS to learn new tricks?

My brain runith over. As in….it’s full. As in….if I attempt to insert any more information I risk my brain spontaneously combusting….or…..at the very least I risk losing VITAL information. Like my childrens’ birthdays……or…….my yahoo password.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t believe I’m this enormous fountain of knowledge who’s brain is threatening to overflow because it’s so full of intelligence. I just believe that there was very little room to begin with. Kinda like an old computer. Our computer is approximately 5 years old. When we first got this computer we thought we were purchasing top of the line memory capacity. RAM, gigabytes….whatever. But the memory is reaching capacity and is now getting painfully slow. I can erase useless information to make room for new information on my computer. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could do the same for our brain. Click a delete button.

I can remember useless information like the address and phone number to my childhood home (from which I moved when I was ten years old) but I can’t remember to send in requested permission slips and field trip payments. I can remember the steps to a tap dance I learned when I was 8 years old but I can’t remember a breakfast date with a neighbor and friend. I can remember the 13 digit Australian phone number of the guy I met on my trip to Italy when I was 16 yrs/old but I can't remember my God Son's birthdate (which is coming up btw). I can remember every geometry theorem from 10th grade (information that I have little to no use for) but canNOT ….for the life of me….memorize Italian vocabulary.

Have I mentioned that I’m taking an Italian class. I can’t even remember if I’ve mentioned that. And I’m too darn lazy to backtrack and check. But yeah. I’m taking an Italian language class with 4 of my immediate family members.

The Italian language is something I’ve wanted to learn since I was a little girl and now with my new found freedom (ALL 3 kids in school ALL day) I decided why wait? So here I am. 36 years old. And delusional enough to believe that I can somehow delete old useless information from my storage bin to make room for an entire second language. I’m having doubts.

I loved college. I loved learning about things that interested me. I was GOOD at learning things that interested me. The Italian language interests me. So logic should follow that I would be GOOD at learning it. Yes?

NO! I suck!

I sat in my Italian class last night for 2.5 hours and retained approximately 10 minutes worth of the information.

I think I’ve forgotten how to learn.

After my first class (7 weeks ago) I decided to start a stack of flashcards. By the 3rd week I realized that my stack was growing too large to manage. My stack was over 3 inches tall after just 3 weeks. I gave up on the flashcards.

After last night’s class I told my mom that I thought someone should invent a program online for making flashcards. A program that would allow you to make flashcards on the computer and maybe allow you to play memory games with these flashcards online. So, on a whim, I google searched this when I returned home last night. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that such programs exist. MANY such programs.

So I spent the better part of my afternoon today….after a delightful breakfast with a neighbor and friend…a breakfast I did NOT forget about btw…eh-hem…. downloading one such program and all existing precategorized Italian vocabulary flashcard files.

I WILL learn this language.

If for no other reason than to prove to myself that I am NOT too old to learn!

Random Updates

1. Kids all got their flu shots yesterday. I got mine this morning. Bring it on BABY!

2. Anyone care to place wagers on when the next round of colds start....I should probably warn you that Smurfette had a head cold last week and now my sinuses feel funky today. I REALLY wish someone would come up with a cure or vaccine for the common cold.

3. Every year before winter hits I take all five of our comforters to the Laundromat to have them washed. And every year (for the last 4 years) shortly after I get them all washed one or all of my kids end up with the stomach flu and a comforter soaked in vomit. I'm thinking I'll wait to wash all the comforters this year. It only took me 4 years to learn this lesson....cuz I'm so quick.

4. Speaking of puking...my dog has puked 4 times since early this morning. (edited to add: Make that 8 times...I forsee a trip to the vet in our near future)

5. Speaking of my dog...she shit in my boys' bedroom yesterday....AGAIN....and my son stepped in it and then proceeded to track said shit across his bedroom carpet all the while yelling "MOOOMMMM, ROSIE POOPED IN MY BEDROOM AGAIN!" I'm seriously considering patenting a doggie ass cork.

6. Speaking of asses...week one of Team Fitness is over. I missed day one due to marathon soreness. Day two was spent doing fitness testing. Day three was yesterday and was our first day of actually working out. And now I can't sit on the toilet without letting out a little yelp. My. ass. hurts.

7. Dreamy update: I've been attempting since the beginning of the school year to use positive reinforcement to help Dreamy with his "issues". He has always responded well with this in the past. But this year it just hasn't been working. I really haven't been able to reinforce any positive behavior because every single day something was forgotten, or homework was lost, or a note came home from school about his inability to focus in class. So, on a whim, I changed my tactic to see how he responded. I told him since this wasn't working I was going to start taking privileges away. I took his Wii, PS2, and TV privileges away indefinitely until I see an improvement. I told him not to view this as a punishment but rather a period of time for refocusing. He actually took it rather well. That was 2 weeks ago. Do you know that he has received a "thumbs up" from his teacher (we communicate daily) EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. since then. He was suppose to have an appointment this morning with a clinical psychologist. I cancelled the appointment. I'd like to give it another couple weeks to see how he does before I go that route. His teacher sent me an email last week:

"Hi, When Mr. H (the principle) was in our class today to talk to the kids about the MEAP test, he asked the kids some ways to do their best. (Dreamy) raised his hand and said to "FOCUS on it." Mr. H made a really big deal out of it and (Dreamy) looked over at me and had a smile from ear to ear!!! Thought I would share that with you!!!!! Good luck with the marathon."

Wasn't that sweet of her to share that with me??

And then a couple days later Hefty received a post card in the mail from that same principle. It said: "Mrs. M told me that you are a mature and talented writer. That's great. Would you like to be the December C.C. (newsletter) student author? Keep up the good work."

I'm really feeling grateful that my kids go to a school with such an involved principle. I've been really lucky so far. My kids have always had great teachers. Reason #591 why we shouldn't move.

8. The boys had a sleep over at their friend's house last night. They were up until 3:30 am. And now they are having their friend spend the night tonight. And my niece and nephew are also spending the night. I hate sleep overs. Seriously. So, now, tomorrow I'm going to have a house full of cranky sleep deprived children. Oh boy! (edited to add: we have now picked up aNOTHER stray child at the gym. We now have 7 children sleeping in this house tonight. I ALMOST know how Jon and Kate feel)

9. Family movie night...we're watching Iron Man as I type this... I love Robert Downey Jr. I think if I had to choose my favorite actor I'd choose him. Iron man rocks my world. I'm a sucker for a man in a suit.

10. And because I need an even 10....my left upper lip has been twitching all damn night.

Internet and phone have been restored. YEAY! 72 hours with no internet and phone has me rethinking this blog thing. Seriously. I spend WAY too much time on the internet. I rely WAY to heavily on the internet. I'm in desperate need of some priority adjustments.

I'm picking the kids up in about 10 minutes from school and heading over to the doctor's office to get all their flu shots. Should be a good time.

In the mean time....I'm stealing this from LifeAsILiveIt because I just don't feel like posting anything today.

I choose......

Tom Hanks over Tom Cruise
avoidance over confrontation (some may beg to differ)
Chinese food over Mexican food
late nights over early mornings
beer over wine (depends on my mood...I like both)
NBC over CBS
sweet over salty
beach over mountain
Chocolate over vanilla
dogs over cats
mistakes made over missed chances
lipgloss over lipstick
J.K Rowling over J.R.R. Tolkien (can't get into either)
dark chocolate over milk chocolate
football over hockey (don't watch either)
pie over cake
half full over half empty
sense of humor over sense of style
Wheel of Fortune over Jeopardy!
pro-choice over pro-life
soda over iced tea
The Breakfast Club over Dirty Dancing
french toast over french fries
Belle over Cinderella
big city over small town
The Olympics over The Oscars
too hot over too cold
mustard over ketchup
Caesar salad over house salad
books over movies
pedicures over manicures
red wine over white wine
John Cusack over John Malkovich
apples over oranges
fast cars over big trucks
elliptical over treadmill
summer over winter
time with girlfriends over time alone
vacuuming floors over mopping floors

Play along...what do you prefer?