Reason #287 - Why we might be rednecks -

I'm trying so very hard to raise my boys to be gentlemen. It's not going so well.

My oldest will be turning 12 in less than 2 weeks. And since we'd rather not have to remortgage our home to cover any further baby sitter wages we've decided to start experimenting with leaving the kids at home for short periods of time.

"This is a test"

"I'm testing you"

"Don't abuse your power"

"Don't answer the door"

"Don't answer the phone (unless it's me)"

And most importantly....

"No fighting!"

I left the oldest with the youngest for approximately 30 minutes while I went to pick up Dreamy (the middle child).

I returned home to find the youngest crying.

Smurfette: "Hefty was being mean to me."

Hefty: "I was not being mean to her mom (he starts crying)....I was only trying to tell her the things she does that gets on our nerves....like whining and tattling and being bossy....but I was telling her nicely....and then I asked her what she wanted to do....do you want to play a game? Do you want to do a puzzle? And she was being a brat and she REJECTED me! (still crying) She rejected me so I told her that was the last time I would ever try to be nice to her. And now she's tattling on me again."

Me: "Can't we all just get along. Smurfette, if you want the boys to be nice to you....you need to start being a little nicer to them. Go give your brother a hug and show him how much you love him"

Smurfette: (still sobbing) No mom! (hiccup sob) I'm not hugging them any more! (hiccup sob) Cuz every time (hiccup sob) I give them a hug they TRY (hiccup sob) to squeeze out a fart!"

I tried to show dismay. I tried to bite my cheek and give my son "the look". But dude.....(insert southern drawl) I don't care who you are, that's there's funny right there...

A new economic stimulus plan....

Got this in an email today. It made me chuckle so I thought I'd share it with ya'll.....


Subject: A lesson in Irish economics


Young Paddy from the liberties, moved to Offaly and bought a Donkey from a farmer for €100.00.

The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.

'Paddy replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.

'The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Paddy said,'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are ya gonna do with him?

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said,' You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euros a piece and made a profit of €898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two euros back.'

Paddy now works for the Irish Government.

AC/DC

We went to the AC/DC concert last night with our friends Randy and Kelly. A fun time was had by all. We started the evening with a little dinner at Chile's.

We missed the opening band...not even sure who played for them to be honest.

Hubby brought his velcro mullet but he just couldn't bring himself to wear it.

Watching the Palace fill up. As you can see we were about as far from the stage as you could possibly get. Hubby went on line within 30 seconds of the ticket sales opening up and this was the best he could do. Actually he rejected the first TWO sets of tickets because he wasn't happy with their location...but the seats kept getting further and further away with each rejection so this is where we ended up.

A Whole Lotta Rosie.

Dear Angus, At some point in your career you'll need to start keeping your clothes on.

But It's No Sacrifice At All.

I've blogged before about how when I was a little girl I don't remember ever being a girly-girl. My fondest childhood memories are not of playing Barbie dolls and babies but of playing cow boys & indians, cops & robbers, swinging from the branches of the willow tree across the street from us, and running & playing in the field behind our house. I was not one of those girls who enjoyed getting dressed up. I hated dresses and nylons and even joked before my wedding that I would walk down the aisle in white slacks. I didn't of course.

I joked that one of the reasons I chose nursing for my career was so that I could wear pajama-like clothing to work. That's not true of course. But wearing comfy clothes and nursing shoes on a daily basis was certainly a HUGE perk for me.

But somewhere along the way I've changed.

You will still find me 90% of the time in jeans or work out clothes and even a baseball cap......unless I'm going to the kids' schools so as to keep from embarrassing them. I'm all about low maintenance comfort. But I now look forward to opportunities to get all "girly-ed up." I now look forward to weddings with excited anticipation. Unfortunately, most of my family and all of my friends are already married so the opportunities for this are becoming increasingly rare. The last wedding I attended was my cousin's back in Sept. 2007. And before that it was my other cousin's wedding like over 5 years ago.

So last week when my husband informed me that he had been given tickets to attend the Auto Show's Charity Preview event I was beside myself with excitement. This is a black tie affair. I could care less about the "auto" part of the auto show.....I was just excited as hell that I would have an excuse to purchase and wear a beautiful glorious girly girl evening gown. And maybe even an extra sassy and sexy pair of strappy stilettos.

I even went so far as to start my search on-line for that perfect evening gown.

And then I checked our calendar and realized that the weekend of this event is the same weekend that our family will be in Chicago for a gymnastics meet.

*sigh*

Another Halloween post.

I'm finally getting around to downloading Halloween and weekend photos. Better late than never.

I spent the morning of Halloween at the kids' schools helping out at their Halloween parties. And by "helping" I mean sampling the party food....of course.

Dreamy dressed up as a bobble head reaper. He was all excited because the local Channel 7 news was at their school that day and taping the kids during their neighborhood costume parade. They interviewed Dreamy during the parade and the clip was to be played on the 12:00 news. The kids had a half day so he rushed home screaming "I'm gonna be famous!" and turned on the news to find out that they clipped his interview portion from the piece that they aired. He was sooooo disappointed! And I was pretty disappointed for him. Oh well, he'll get his 15 minutes seconds of fame some other day.

Hefty dressed up as "Cuddles with a saw cutting him in half" ....not sure who cuddles is but he thought the idea of maiming a cute fury TV character was pretty cool. This photo was taken shortly after Hefty spilled his entire cup of apple juice. Why is it always MY child that does this? Seriously. And here he is making the *I'm so cute how could you be mad at me* look.

Smurfette dressed as a fairy. Most beautiful darn fairy in the world if you ask me. =) Just have to brag on my daughter here for a moment. When I was in her classroom "helping" out, the classroom teacher's aide came up to me and asked..."who's your child?". I pointed and said "Smurfette." And she said "oh my goodness, she's just the sweetest thing. She's so kind and polite and just so sweet." Made my day people! Of course she's probably saying that to all the parents but it still made my day.

The obligatory pre-trick-or-treating photo.



I have to say that I think the economy is even starting to effect Halloween. Only one out of every 5 or 6 houses participated. And we only had a fraction of the kids come to our house that came last year. There are usually a bunch of homes that go all out with the decorations and spooky effects and we didn't see even one this year. The streets were a bit sad and lonely.

After trick or treating we mosied on over to a neighbor and friend's house. The kids had a blast. T and D know how to throw one hell of a party.

Some of the men played a little Euchre.

Then Saturday night Papa Smurf and I headed to our friends' house for another fun party. You know.....*wink wink*.....The party I referred to in the post from a couple days ago that is about to self destruct. I took a picture of the guys playing poker but was having so much fun with the women I forgot to break out the camera to commemorate Kelly's first adult "toy" party.....and now the moment is lost....*sigh*....

And Sunday morning T and I went to the park and ran 6 miles! It was a gorgeous morning. Wishing I had made it out there a couple weeks earlier for the peak of Autumn color. The peak has passed and now everything is taking on a slightly dingy brown hue. But there's still a little color left. We saw a buck during our run but he was buried in the thick of the trees about 30 yards from us and I couldn't get a good shot of him.

I'm a little disturbed that I find this so funny.

I was in my office frustrated as hell at the fact that I was ONCE AGAIN searching our bookshelves for a stray library book and in walks Hefty....

Hefty: Mom, I had a dream last night that we (the 3 kids) talked you into going rock wall climbing for real...on a REAL cliff....and you were all mad cuz you didn't want us to do it and Dreamy made it all the way to the top of the cliff and then fell off the cliff.....and splatted on the ground and died and you were all like "SEE, THIS is why I didn't want to go climbing". And I was just now realizing how funny this dream was cuz in my dream I was all like...aww crap...I'm gonna be in so much trouble....

Because Christmas is all about judging and condemning dontcha know...

It's my turn to rant.

I've had it.

Absolutely had it with certain members of our (mine and my husband's) family. These members shall remain nameless for the sake of feelings but I've SO HAD IT!!!!

Just before Christmas last year I sent out an email to family members. You can read about this email in THIS post. I blogged about this idea to maybe inspire others to do the same. I urge you to go read it or this post will make no sense.

Go on.....I'll wait.......

K.....

So, we thought this idea was a fantastic way of restoring the Christmas spirit in our hearts, teaching our children a lesson in the giving spirit of Christmas, helping a family in need, and giving some children a wonderful Christmas that they otherwise would not have. It's a win/win situation.

So, in response to that email that was sent out.....One family member agreed. Another family member agreed but sent a 2,000 word email back to me with stipulations, requests, and requirements if they were to participate. And the last family member flat out refused to participate and had a full blown temper tantrum and refused to open a gift we purchased for said family member and asked if we'd like the gift to be returned to the company it came from because "you made it perfectly clear in the first paragraph of your email that it's too much trouble to purchase a gift for me." Yeah, this is an adult. An adult who's stomping their feet and "hmph"ing with their arms crossed because we suggested that a family in NEED get the gift that they were suppose to get.

Grow the fuck up!

Kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. But whatever.

So I've been exchanging phone calls with Volunteers of America these last couple weeks in the hopes of finding a family to sponsor for Christmas. Ideally, I would have liked to find a family that was in need for reasons that were out of their control. The economy sucks. People are losing jobs right and left here in Michigan. Ideally, I wanted to find a hard working family that was in need but not just looking for a handout. But after turning down the first 3 families that were presented to me it became very clear that these were not the types of families that were seeking out sponsorship.

So, after much thought, I decided on the 4th family that was presented to me.

Here's their profile: Single mother. 5 kids. 2 different dads are involved. Both dads are in jail and provide zero support. Mom doesn't work. Mom has severe asthma (is frequently hospitalized). Is on welfare. She's a size 22 as stated in her clothing wish list (this has absolutely nothing to do with anything but my reasons for bringing this up will become clear further down this post).

My initial reaction was to turn this family down. This would have been the 4th family I turned down.

Why did I want to turn this family down? I was thinking why isn't she working? Why is she on welfare? Why are the dads in jail? She's probably lazy. She's probably been looking for a handout her entire life. I was thinking that this is a family who is probably in the situation they're in for reasons that WERE in their control.

But, after some sole searching, I came to the following conclusion....Bottom line is I don't know this family. I don't know this mom. I don't know her situation. And all of these things that I don't know are irrelevant anyway. Because the one thing I DO know is that those kids had nothing to do with their situation. THEY (the kids) are in a needy situation for reasons that are out of their control. Because those kids are innocent bystanders in all of this. Those kids deserve a break....they deserve a good Christmas. Bottom line.

And you know what mom put in the kids' wish lists? Basic needs. Winter coats. Boots. Warm clothes. These kids deserve (at the very least) to be WARM this holiday season. So I sent out an email to the 2 remaining family members who wanted to participate. I received a phone call from one of them the next day. The following paragraph are just SOME of the things that came out of this person's mouth....

"We want to participate and sponsor a family with you but not THIS family. There are things that we don't like about this family. Mom's on welfare. She's not working. There's no reason she can't work with asthma. And the dads are both in jail? And she's a size 22 so obviously they're not going hungry."

I was speechless.

Absolutely speechless.

So, the spirit in which this was intended has been completely ruined. And we have decided to just scrap the whole idea and just tell everyone to use the money they would have spent on us to sponsor a family of their own choice....or just pocket the damn money and don't give it to anyone because I'm sure that's what everyone wants to do anyway. Cuz I give up. I had hoped to turn this into a nice family holiday tradition but it's become painfully obvious that that's not going to happen.

Sad.