Republican, Democrat, or Southern Republican?

I don't talk politics on my blog...or in person for that matter. 90% of my family is democratic. I am not. I call myself a republican with democratic tendencies.

I have found over the years (albeit a little late) that people get entirely too fired up over the issues and take it VERY personally when you don't agree with them. I think it's ridiculous. If you're going to get pissy with me over my views...then quite frankly....we weren't meant to be friends. So I, for the most part, keep my views to myself.

A couple years ago I received this email below that had me in tears laughing hysterically. It's lame....I know.....but in an effort to lighten up the barrage of serious political blog posts and perhaps put a smile on someone's face I've decided to share it with you.

Enjoy....

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock .40 calibre, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Republican's Answer:

BANG!.......

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.......

Southern Republican Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click "Damn! I'm out!"

Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"

My yesterday:

6:30 - My alarm goes off. Shower and get dressed.

6:50 - 7:45 - Wake up boys. Boys get ready for school while I make lunches and get ready for the day myself.

7:45 - Boys leave for bus.

7:50 - Wake up #3.

7:50 - 8:50 - Get #3 dressed, fed, teeth and hair brushed, lunch made, snack ready, fill out Scholastic Book form and write check.

8:50 - Drive her to school.

9:00 - 2:30pm = (my time) =)

9:00-11:00 - Go back home and clean and throw in a load of laundry.

11:00 - 2:00 - Met with realitor to look at houses.

2:30 - Went home to start preparing dinner.

3:00 - Pack up 3 dinners to be eaten in the car. (FYI, McDonalds is highly underrated)

3:30 - Pick up boys from bus stop and then head over immediately to #3's school.

3:50 - #3 gets out of school. We drive to gymnastics with all 3 kids eating their dinner in the car.

4:10 - Arrive at gymnastics 10 minutes late.

4:30 - Drive to dance supply store to get #3 ballet shoes.

5:00 - Drive to book store to get #1 Sword of Shannara book.

5:30 - Drive to store to get #2 some pants (all his pants seem to be floods....could he possibly be actually growing?)

6:00 - Head over to #3's dance class...a little early...because she has to change into her dance clothes.

6:30 - Ballet class starts.

6:50 - Drive back to gymnastics (1/2 mile away) to pick up boys.

7:10 - Arrive back at dance class with complaining boys in tow. Boys sit at the table at dance to do their homework.

7:30 - Ballet ends.

7:45 - Arrive home.

8:00 - Boys finish homework and all take turns taking showers and getting snacks.

9:00 - Everyone to bed.


9:30 - My feet hurt


10:00 - Out cold.

Just reinforcing the misconceptions.....

This post is for all who commented on my Tackle it Tuesday post.

To those who commented on the cleanliness of my kitchen.

I just wanted to say that yes....yes, my kitchen counters aaaalways look like that. There are NEVER dirty dishes in the sink. There are NEVER fingerprints and clumps of food on my appliances. You will NEVER find dried up splattered milk spots on my counters. The stove is ALWAYS wiped clean from yesterdays dinner. Mail and magazines and school papers and receipts and coupons and loose change and toys and dirty dishes and books and screws and screw drivers and pencils and pens and appliance manuals and drieduppermanentlygluedon fruity pebbles and toaster crumbs and purses and plastic bags filled with my note books and calendar and books to read for my extracurricular waiting room time will neeeevvvvver be found on my kitchen counters.

Because I think that's just disgusting.

And for anyone who finds these things on their counters on a daily basis....you should get your act together.

Really.

That is all.

Tackle It Tuesday

All right. The kids are all in school ALL DAY!! I'm getting back on the Tackle It Tuesday band wagon! I have a list a mile long of planned projects and didn't waist any time in getting started.

I'm on a mission to be a doityourselfer. I (theoretically) love doing home improvement projects. Although, my repertoire of do it yourself knowledge has been limited to painting up until now. I love to paint and transform rooms. I would love to know how to do other home improvement projects....like retiling an entire bathroom....replacing vanities and sinks....replumbing my master bathroom to add a two sink vanity (to replace the single sink vanity that's in there now). So, now that all the kids are in school full time I've decided to learn. I started with a small project. A tile backsplash in my kitchen. I'm DONE!!! Well....almost. The switch plates are on order and should be in sometime today. I'll edit this later and post pictures of the final step once I have them on.

The before photos: No backsplash. Just wallpaper.

Step one: Remove wallpaper. (Completed on Wednesday)

Step 2: Glue tile on. Completed Thursday.

Step 3: Let glue and tile set for 24 hours before grouting....then apply grout. Completed Saturday.

Be sure to leave a HUGE mess of splattered grout over every surface. This is very important.

Step 4: Let grout set for 24 - 48 hours.

Step 5: Apply sealer. Completed yesterday.





All done!

6 more things about me

Katie from Happy2bme tagged me for a 6 random and 6 quirky things about me meme. I love these but I'm totally running out of things to tell you about me. But since I'm fresh out of blog material I'll give it my best shot.

1. I'm reading over my 100 things about me posted back in April to refresh my memory on the things that I've already disclosed about myself. I reread #20 and laughed because 5 months later I STILL have that same damn ugly clock hanging on my wall without batteries. I really need to do something about that!

2. When I was a kid my all time FAVorite show was Mr. Dressup. I read a blog post a while back (and I can't remember which blog) where she posted songs or tunes that reminded her of her childhood. The Mr. Dressup jingle is THE #1 tune that reminds me of my childhood.





3. When I was like 8 or 9 years old I used to hang out with the neighborhood bully. She was really mean. Even to me. She used to beat me up on a regular basis. In the middle of a bitter cold winter day she told me to lick the fence pole to see what would happen. I did. My tongue stuck to the pole and she wouldn't help me. Her brother had to go in the house to get a cup of warm water to pour over my tongue. She scarred me for life. Jump to the 7th minute in the video below.




4. That same girl used to have a collection of boogers on the wall next to her bed. Yes...a collage of dried up boogers of various shades of green and brown. Lovely....no? When I would spend the night at her house I insisted on sleeping on her floor for that reason. Which is technically not about me per say but I'm really struggling here to come up with more "things" about me.



5. Me and 5 other kids (including my younger brother) used to walk to and from school when I was in 3rd - 5th grade. It was .75 miles from my house to the school. I just mapped it out. Back then it was no big deal. Could you imagine letting your kid do that these days?



6. My first crush was Stephen Pearcy. I (just now) had to go look up his name because I had no idea what it was....I always just referred to him as Ratt. I used to watch MTV all day long waiting for this video (below) to come on.


If you want to know more about me you can find more useless tidbits in the posts below....or the 100 things about me linked in #1. I think technically I'm suppose to come up with another 6 quirky things but I'm lumping these all together in one. I'm a rebel.



And since I'm kind of cheating I'll answer any burning questions you have about me. Well...most any...ask away....



7 more things about me

13 things about me

7 more things about me

Oh yeah! I'm suppose to tag 6 more people to participate but I'll just say if you're reading this and are interested in playing along go for it and leave a comment letting us know.

Bloggy funk updates

I'm in a serious blog funk. I just can't be bothered lately. With posting that is. I still love and enjoy reading everyone else's blogs but taking the time out of my day to create a post of my own? Yeah, not so much. My new found independence is getting in the way. With no kids around there's so much more I'd rather be doing. Sitting at the computer all day seems like a shameful waste of alone time.



So, here's some updates.



1. No news on Italy. I'm kinda thinking it isn't gonna happen. Papa Smurf hasn't pursued a conversation with his boss because he was busy all week playing catch up at work since our vacation. He says that he'll approach it by asking if an overseas assignment will help him advance in his career. If the answer is "no" then he won't pursue it. If the answer is "yes" then he'll take the Italy opportunity more seriously. My Italian language classes start this Monday and I'm SO geeked! We now have a group of 5 family members in on this class. It kind of snow balled.



2.Papa Smurf and I are now considering moving. Which is really kinda silly in this housing market. We went looking at houses last weekend for shits and giggles and now have the moving bug. We found our dream house.....for a mere 1.7 million dollars....*gasp*....just a smidge out of our price range. I think we've decided to spend the next year preparing our house to put on the market...sort of a "design to sell" period of time....with small upgrades and renovations. We'll see what happens. That's assuming this Italy thing doesn't happen, which, like I said, seems like a pipe dream at this point.



3. I finally made it to the Doc's yesterday. Remember this post? That was....like....a month ago. And, yeah, I'm still sick....as is hubby. Papa Smurf hit our neighbor (a doctor) up a few days ago for a prescription and I finally caved in and made a trip to my doctor. Turns out I have a sinus infection and bronchitis. Who knew?



4. I'm suppose to run 20 miles tomorrow.....TWENTY MILES......to.mor.row! Did I mention I have bronchitis? Yeah. Training for this marathon has been a HUGE problem lately. Totally struggling with getting in the miles.



5. First week of school has gone great. Smurflings are back into a routine....as am I. I like routine. Routine is good. I find I'm much more productive when I have a schedule. And no kids to clean up after. Or feed. Or referee. My first week of independence was spent on a home improvement project. Still have a few finishing touches to complete but should have photos and a post ready sometime early next week. I'm hoping to have it done for my first "Tackle it Tuesday" project in almost 3 months....I'm long overdue for a good tackle.



6. Oh yeah! And K, one of my favorite people IRL, has recently had a beautiful baby boy. She delivered 2 days before we left for our vacation...they were SUPPOSE to go on the trip with us until she went and got knocked up!....the nerve....=). And so....between that vacation and now being sick I have YET to meet their newest addition. You MUST go on over and check out the gorgeous photo shoot proofs she has posted. Amazing. And I get to hold that little bundle tomorrow! I can't wait to meet him!

And that's all for now.

Bring on the empty nest!

For the past few days I've been reading a lot of blogs and tweets full of sad moms shipping off their little ones to school. I must be a selfish, cold hearted bitch. I was thinking to myself ....omg...am I the ONLY mom in the world that is happy to ship my clan off to be cared for, entertained, and educated by another human being? Seriously? I have been anticipating the day that I could spend the entire day all to myself in silence to do whatever the hell I want to do ALL BY MYSELF for several years now. The idea of being able to keep my house clean for more than 12 hours at a time is enough to bring tears to my eyes. I could spend my days sitting in the bookstore or library and reading. I could sit in a Starbucks with my laptop and a cup of coffee and be all cool and shit. Maybe I'll take piano lessons. Maybe I'll take some photography courses. And grocery shopping all. by. my. self?......um....yeah....I think I just had a little "O"!!!!

So, while the rest of the women in blog land have been writing about their empty nest sorrows I sat at my computer with a huge Cheshire grin on my face fantasizing about how I'd spend my first day without children. It's like taking out a whole new lease on life. I've had my to-do list prepared for 3 weeks folks. I've been one happy woman anticipating this day. It's been 12 years people. 12 years.

So yesterday was a half day. I stood at the bus stop with my kids and 8 other mothers and saw my boys off to school with a smile on my face. The bus drove off and I jumped up and clicked my heals together in a joyous celebration....2 down one to go. I took my daughter to her class and met her teacher. And then came home after an hour and a half WITH my daughter. So the 1st day of school really WASN'T the 1st day of school in my book.

Before bed last night my daughter picked out her outfit for today and carefully placed them on her dresser.

Mumma, do these shoes match? She asked.

Yep

K. I'm gonna wear these tomorrow. She then carefully unfolded a pair of socks, tucked a sock into each shoe, and placed the shoes next to the outfit.

Smurfette jumped out of bed this morning and got dressed, ate breakfast, and had her hair and teeth brushed in 15 minutes flat.

Is it time to leave yet, mumma?

How much longer, mumma?

Can we just leave now and wait in the car, mumma?

Today is gonna be a good day mumma. A whole day with no mumma. (grinning from ear to ear).

Smurfette is not attending the same school as the boys. We chose a different school so she could attend a full day kindergarten (our home school does not offer full day). There were no familiar faces. No friends for either of us. We waited in line outside the classroom and all the while I was anticipating my first day by myself.

Hmmmm.....what will I do first?

I was chatting with Smurfette about her day.

Don't forget your snack is in your lunch box.

I'll be right outside those doors when it's time to go.

If you get separated from your class and don't know where to go just go to the office and tell them you're lost.

If you don't hear the teacher call you in from recess go around to the front doors because the other doors are locked from the outside.

Make sure you eat your lunch or you'll be hungry.

The more I talked the more nervous I made MYSELF. My daughter was fine. Cool as a cucumber. And out of NOwhere I felt the tears coming.

Don't cry

Don't cry

Don't cry

For cry'n out loud you've been looking forward to this day for the past year and you've been through this twice before....you know the drill....

DON'T CRY!

Mumma, why does it look like you're crying?

AWW HELL!!!

Oh, I'm fine honey. Just a little sad. I'll miss you today.

Oh mumma, don't be sad, you can come pick me up in a little while.

And the tears just started flow'n.

So there you have it. Bitter-sweet.

When I went back this afternoon to pick her up she was looking very intently at my face. After several seconds she says "Mumma, did you cry all day?"

"No, honey, I didn't. I was fine."

"OK...so you forgot about me?"

"Nope, I thought about you all day. I was wondering all day how your first day of school was going and how you were doing."

"I was fine mumma."

So for my first day of school....I went running, and then came home and showered, and then caught up on some blog reading, and then I measured my kitchen walls, and then I went to the tile store and bought tile and supplies for my kitchen back-splash project, and then I came home and started (and finished) tearing down the wall paper.

What did YOU do for your first day of school?