Who's yo daddy....

Friday:

Gracie got a hair cut! Big Bird really liked it.

"A little privacy please!"

"Oh Big Bird....you rock my world"
"faster, baby, faster"

"was it as good for you?"

"WHAT?"

OK...I completely recognize that my husband and I are sick and childish for finding this so amusing but COME ON.......admit it......let your adolescent immaturity out for just a second and find some humor in this.

Saturday:

Started my marathon training with 3 other friends...Traci, Becky, and Julie. We did 6 miles...but we're all back at square one as none of us kept up the running after last years marathon (and this is Becky and Julie's first)...in case you haven't heard...I don't like winter. So, Back to the interval training. Did 4.5 miles of running 3 minutes & walking 2 minutes....then walked most of the rest of it. It was a beautiful day...sunny and 40s. It felt incredible to actually be outdoors as I've been a hermit for the past 5 months in this dreadful winter of ours! Can I just say....OUCH! I'm so sore! My ass hurts, my quads hurt, my calves hurt, my torso hurts, my neck hurts....I can't believe how fast you lose it if you don't keep it up. Anyway, I hope to start a separate blog for my training log...or maybe I'll just start blogging it on my previous marathon training blog...I realize no-one wants to hear about all this on a semi-daily basis but I like to have it documented for my own sake...it's encouraging to see my progress over time...we'll see.

Sunday:

K...this is going to be a self indulgent...bragger section of my post....deal with it! It's my blog and I'll brag if I want too! MY KIDS ROCK!!!! We had the boys' State Meet yesterday and I HAVE 2 STATE CHAMPION SONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dreamy won the gold and Hefty won the bronze!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! I'm still on cloud nine as are the boys! The following conversation took place in the car on the way to the meet....

me: "so what are your guys' goal for the meet?"

Dreamy: "I'm winning this today"

Hefty: "I'm gonna break a 50 for my all around score"

me: "K...that sounds great but, Dreamy, maybe a goal of Personal Best would be a little more realistic. A goal like "I'm gonna win" may be setting yourself up for disappointment...just try to do your best so you leave the meet feeling great about your performance even if you don't win it"

Dreamy: "FINE....I'll just do my best but I'm still gonna win it"

AND HE DID!!!!! I'll try my hardest to figure out how to post a video of their meet....but thus far it's not looking good. I just last night figured out how to save the video to DVD after a very frustrating 2 hours. So it may take me awhile!

OOO....and I also forgot to mention that because Hefty is 3rd in the state he has been invited to attend a three day "elite clinic" in June...the top 6 boys in the state are asked to attend and spend 3 days training with some top coaches and former elite gymnasts. This is only available for level 7 and up which is why Dreamy isn't going.

Mama has a permagrin!

This morning:

Smurfette: "Mommy, who will be my Daddy when I'm a grown up"

Me: "Daddy!....Daddy will always be your daddy!"

Smurfette: "But will he be old"

Me: "well, eventually...we'll all get old eventually"

Smurfette: "Darn it....I don't want an old daddy"

I sure hope my hubby doesn't see this.....he's already getting a complex because Smurfette is 100% mommy's girl. Seeing this could permanently damage his ever aging ego!

Under a rock for the last 8 years!

I love chocolate. I mean REALLY love chocolate. Even more than I love Oprah. I'm obsessed with chocolate really. I rarely go a day without a hefty dose of chocolate. Chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate covered raisins, dove chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate almonds, chocolate candy bars, peanut m&ms, chocolate fountains....strawberries, bananas, cookies, marshmallows....are all my favorites dipped in the chocolate fountains....no white chocolate though please.

So, with that said, it would only be natural to believe that when the movie Chocolat came out...hmmmmm.....8 years ago?..... I would have been the first in line at the theaters. But for some reason I resisted. I've seen it in the movie rental store for years now and never even picked up the case to read the back cover. I never even new that Johnny Depp was in the movie. Have I been hiding under a rock? And why did I never hear SOMEone say "hey, did you see that movie Chocolat....you should go"....not once did I hear anyone EVER talk about this movie.

So, my friend Kelly tells me that I have Starz on demand....who knew??.....I've had digital cable for years now and never new that these free movies on demand existed. I just don't watch movies very often. So hubby is out of town for the night and the boys had a friend spend the night. So after I tucked everyone in for the night I figured...you know what...I'm gonna have me a glass of wine and curl up on the couch to watch a chic flick. Chocolat is on demand this month. I'll watch Chocolat.

O......M.......G This is my new favorite movie. I mean I just LOVE it! I've never been a huge Johnny Depp fan....he kinda creeped me out in Edward Scissorhand and I could never get past that. Until Pirates came out. I think he is the sexiest man alive in those movies....black teeth and all. But OOHHHHH BOY is he yummy in this movie. My daughter's famous line kept echoing in my head during the entire movie "he's just like my favorite candy bar and I just want to EAT him".

But my favorite scene in the whole movie is when the Mayor is in the store window with the chocolate display and he goes a little crazy in a cookie monster sort of way.....I laughed until I had tears running down my face....all by myself....with my glass of wine.... Wanna know why? Because I was envisioning MYSELF doing the same damn thing. That's what I look like when I'm hiding in the laundry room closet with the left over Easter candy.....shoveling it in as fast as I can...."cookie monster style"....so that the kids won't catch me.....because eating candy in my house before dinner is a no-no. I was watching this scene over and over again (I rewinded and watched it 3 times) and kept thinking that I wish I knew how to take a video clip of that scene and somehow edit it in such a way that I could put my head on that guys body and post it in my blog! I need help.

If you've been hiding under the same rock as me...you really should go watch that movie.

Life is Grand!

I can't figure out how to get myself on the Thursday 13 blogroll...I thought I was on it but apparently not...but I'm still using the T13 for today's post. It's fun.

Thirteen things I'm loving about today....

1) I'm loving that it's spring break and I didn't have to set an alarm, I didn't get out of bed until 8am (nor did any of my 3 kids), it's 10:16am and I still haven't showered, and I'm still sitting here in my jammies and robe....life is grand!

2) I'm loving that I have bribed my kids with a sleep over if they clean my entire basement spotless. They've been at it for the last 1/2 hour....life is grand!

3) I'm loving my new plastic storage containers that I bought at Target yesterday for my kitchen pantry that is freshly cleaned out!

4) I'm loving the book I'm reading "Happiness Now" by Robert Holden. He's teaching me how to make my life grand!

5) I'm loving that almost all traces of snow are melted....yesterday was a gorgeous day...sunshine and 50...I'll take it!....spring is here!

6) I'm loving that I'm going to officially start training this Saturday with several friends that I'm running the marathon with! which leads me #7 which is kinda related to #5...

7) I'm loving that it's warm enough to run outside now....and the sidewalks are all cleared of snow and ice.....I really don't like the treadmill!

8) I'm loving that my daughter has taken over the responsibility of brushing her own hair. Now I don't have to be the bad guy always pulling her hair to get the knots out. I swear I try to be gentle but I think she has the world's most sensitive scalp....it's the little things in life that make me happy!

9) I'm loving that my parents may be putting a bid on a house to flip so I can learn the ropes through them before deciding if this is something I want to pursue. I can't wait to get my hands on a paint brush....=)...

10) I'm loving that my kids have been exceptionally good and playing great together all week.

11) I'm loving that my daughter gets along so well with my niece and nephew and they now play together all the time and have sleep overs. I'm also loving that we have found a little girl her age in the neighborhood for her to play with. YEAY!

12) I'm loving that I FINALLY took our returnables to the grocery store yesterday...they were taking over our garage....There was over $25.00 in returnables! Which reminds me.....I'm REALLY grateful that my house doesn't look like the hoarder's house that Oprah had on her show....OMG....

13) I'm loving that it's now 10:50 am and I STILL have my jammies on....life is grand! =)

Wordless Wednesday

It's Wordless Wednesday again....do people actually remain completely wordless....why is this so difficult for me?!

My little rat...Gracie....HATES HATES HATES baths

Ohhhhhh.....she's SO pissed here!

K...now for some fun. Hefty and I have an on going dispute over his hair. He wants to grow his hair long and I think his short hair looks SO much better. So I'm taking a vote. Below are 2 pictures...a before the hair cut pic (he's on the left in the gym uniform....please also take notice of the chunk of hair missing from Dreamy's head of hair on the right)...and the after the hair cut pic taken Easter morning during our scavenger hunt. Please leave a comment and tell me which hair looks better. Please note, that if you vote for pic #1....we can no longer be friends (just kidding....kinda)

Tackle it Tuesday

This is what I tackled today...





My pantry closet! I found some very interesting things in the process....

...Like a five pound bag of Heath toffee bits....I was at Costco and bought those around the holidays to make a yummy dessert. I didn't feel like driving to another grocery store to get a smaller bag so I saved time by buying the 5 pound bag from Costco. Or how about the open bag of pop tarts. There's no telling how long that's been in there.

Or how about the 13 year old (I got them as part of a gift at our rehearsal dinner) soup and dip making kits.

Then there's the coffee bean grinder that I couldn't find for months and so I eventually went and bought another one...I'll be donating this one along with the rice cooker that hasn't been used in the 8 years that we've lived in this house.

I also found the reminders and remnants of several different diet phases....weight watchers....

Jenny Craig....

and the Atkins, South Beach, and sugar free diets.....

Lemonade anyone?

Cause you never know when they'll come out with a study that suggests bathing in lemonade as the new anti-aging secret. How does one accumulate this much lemonade, you ask? This is evidence of how poor my memory is. I'll be at Costco and have a craving for lemonade and forget that I had the same craving a month ago.

So, it's done...I finished. I threw out two garbage bags of ridiculously old, expired, stale food items. The before and after pics truly do it no justice. During my next Target visit I'll be buying plastic food storage containers because I still don't like this system...but it's definitely an improvement.

I also finally decluttered my daughters closet yesterday and gave my cousin 3 garbage bags worth of cloths for her daughter! WOOOHOOOO!

Happy Day After Easter!

This has been a wonderful weekend. Full of friends, family, and chocolate....oh my.



Friday night we drop kicked the kids out the front door brought the kids over to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the evening so that Papa Smurf and I could enjoy an adult night out with some friends. We haven't had that much fun nor laughed that hard in a VERY long time. Started out with a couple chocolate raspberry martinis.....yum..... and dinner at my FAVorite restaurant, Kruse & Muir....if you ever make it there you really must try the lobster and shrimp linguini ala creme...omg....delicious. We had a little too much fun there and decided to leave else they would kick us out. Walked down the street to a really cool martini bar down the road ....in the middle of a fricken blizzard....would some one PLEASE inform mother nature that the first day of spring was..... like.... a week ago. We all (minus the pregnant DD) over indulged in some alcohol....I really feel I need to explain that I am NOT a lush. Two days of drinking in a row is not a norm for me....s'all I'm say'n. We had a blast at the martini bar...met a fun couple (who has only been dating for 2 months) and I think we scared the daylights out of em. Look...you get 3 couples together that have been together for at least 17 years each...and have 8 1/2 kids between them (#9 is on it's way) and we're bound to regress a little back to our years of adolescent immaturity...we don't get out much! Left the bar minus one couple and came back to our house to play a little pool and indulge a little more. It was a perfect evening out.

All I drank all night was two martinis and one long island ice tea over the course of about 7 hours and was....well, there's just no delicate way of saying it....I was shit-faced...like I said I don't get out much! Back in the day of my college years and a few memorable spring break trips I could drink.....a LOT.....but now, not so much! Motherhood has done this to me. So Saturday I was feeling a little useless (as was hubby) and I had a very difficult time being productive as I had a TON of stuff to get done before Easter. I tried to do a little blog surfing but blogger was down all day and I couldn't get on....Divine intervention again tapping me on the shoulder...."eh-hem.....Mama Smurf, you are NOT going on the computer today...you have too much to do...and I know you....once you get on it'll be hours before you get off....so not today!...buh-bye!" We had a house full of kids most of the afternoon.

Had a fantastic Easter Day...Hefty, my oldest, was dropping hints Saturday night at the dinner table...(his Easter Bunny believing days are over btw)...."I REEEEALLY hope the Easter Bunny...wink wink....does the Scavenger hunt this year...that was SOOOO much fun..." Needless to say the scavenger hunt was a big hit. They had a blast...If I could figure out how to put video clips of the hunt on this blog I would...but I'm just not that blog savvy yet...one day...

Spent the late morning and afternoon at my Aunt and Uncle's house for an Easter brunch with the rest of the family. It was an afternoon of gluttony! I made deviled eggs for the first time...AND...tasted deviled eggs for the first time. They were delicious! Learn something new every day. And my cousin made this unbelievably sinful french toast casserole from Paula Deen's website! I'll have to make that one soon...the whole family was drooling over it! My family had me all fired up to try a DIY project...adding a ceramic tile back splash in my kitchen. I'm on a new mission to become a Mrs. Handy(wo)man. I want to flip houses! My mom gave me my next book that I"ll be reading...a flip it for dummies book. So I'm going to try some do-it yourself projects around my house to get me ready! This will be my new obsession I've decided! =) In case you haven't figured it out yet...my obsessions change from month to month. I'll be over it in a few weeks I'm sure!

Then I spent this morning and early afternoon having a play date with those same girlfriends from Friday evening and their kids. We had 8 kids running around the house! We've decided we're going to flip houses together! I'm REALLY fired up about this! I just wish this market would turn around! We'll have to wait anyway until after the end of this year to get started so I'm going to spend the next 9 months educating myself. Anyone out there know anything about this?? Any good books out there?? Any "flipping" tips?

I'm a Master of Disguise....

Had a busy day yesterday...

Spent the day with Hefty Smurf and his class chaperoning at the Detroit Science Center. I really enjoy that place....I'm a dork that way. They really do a great job there. That was my 3rd visit in the past year!

Came home for 30 minutes and then me and the boys went to pick Smurfette up from her school so we could make our appointment to get their (the boys') hair cut. And wasn't THAT fun! My kids see that place and immediately turn from well behaved & well mannered children into circus monkeys. Spinning on chairs, knocking over hair dryers, rearranging furniture to better suit their needs for viewing the television...it's an embarrassment ev.ery.time. And then there's the ensuing arguments with my kids over their hair styles...."no you can't get a mohawk"..."no you're not growing your hair long"...."why, it's MY HAIR isn't it?"..."I'm NEVER getting my hair cut this short again!" O....M.....G.....So at first I tried being all diplomatic...."you look so much more handsome with your hair like that"...."you look so much more mature with you hair like that"...."you look so much older with your hair like that"....which is all true of course (I don't care WHAT you say Kelly!)....but my kids weren't buying it. So....I had to resort to the awfulness that I once swore I would never resort to.....the...."because I said so ...and as long as you're living under my roof" speech. ugh! Seriously though....I know I'm sounding like an out of touch mother when I say this....but HOW can anyone think that this long hair, can't see a thing cause my hair is hanging down to my chin, can't hear a thing cause my ears are covered with the hair that's down to my shoulders look is attractive??? I ask you!! Help me see the light! I should've taken before and after pictures and taken a vote. But then I lay in bed at night and WAY over think the whole situation. Am I a horrible mother for not wanting my sons to look like disheveled hoodlums. Does this make me an over controlling mother? Do I need to light'n up? NO....NO.....NO!!!!

Anyway...on with my day....came home with the kids and as soon as my husband walked in from work I was on my way to the doctor's office. Now, my Ob-Gyn is as nice as a doc can be and a good doc by any one's standards....BUT....dude....don't make small talk chit chat with me....I don't wanna be friends....do your business....get your instruments out of my business so I can get my legs down from these cold, steely, uncomfortable stirrups and regain a little dignity. It was awful I tell you. Laying there with my feet in the air exposed and cold while he tries to carry on a dignified conversation about how his wife is a nurse too and decided to stay at home just like me with the initial intention of going back to work just like me but is now enjoying staying at home just like me "and I told her....look....our youngest is in 3rd grade....I just want you to pay ONE bill....just ONE....I don't care if it's electric bill or even just the newspaper bill....but she won't ....won't go back....I asked her....what are you going to do then.....BLAH BLAH BLAH". I was flat on my back with my feet in the air....had a smile on my face and gave an occasional nod and "uh-huh"...but the only thing running through my head during all this ranting was ....(making talking gestures with hand) "this is what your doing.....(closing hand) this is what I WANT you to do"....

Left there an hour later and headed straight to my friend's Pure Romance party. Had a little too much to drink at the party ....mainly to help me forget about the loss of dignity from the previous hour....and came home late last night a little tipsy and with all kinds of goodies!!

Scavenger hunt madness...

I posted today before I realized that it was "wordless wednesday"....I'm not real good at the wordless thing anyway...so I'm editing this post to add this photo....

I'm adding this photo because this would be yet.another.junk.drawer in my house. Before I registered my daughter for Kindergarten yesterday I was on a frantic search for my daughter's birth certificate...a necessary piece of paperwork for registering. I waited till the last minute to get it because I knew exactly where it was....no big deal....we keep important documents such as birth certificates in our safe...I mean where else would a responsible parent keep such things. Yeah...right! So needless to say...her birth certificate after 30 minutes of searching was found buried beneath all of that crap you see in that photo. Of course...it's perfectly reasonable to find your child's birth certificate buried beneath a pile of crap...where else would it be. We I need help.

Below is my original posting:

I had Smurfette's Kindergarten registration last night. I have mixed emotions. Part of me is sad to see my youngest going off to school. But the other side of me.....=)......is doin the happy dance! I'm trying to get her into all day Kindergarten because she needs it. She'll be almost 6 when she starts (she's a December birthday) and she is bored stiff with me during the day. She has NO friends her age in our neighborhood and the poor girl needs a social outlet. I have her in Dance class and Gymnastics class but it's just not enough. So....I'm trying to get her into all day Kindergarten. I won't know until May whether she'll get in or not. The down fall is....the all day Kindergarten isn't at our home school. She would have to go to a different school than the boys and I would have to drive and pick her up....We'll see.

About 5 years ago I started a tradition in our home. I didn't mean to, it just happened. On Easter morning the Bunny leaves the kids a note in the form of a poem and leads them around our house in a scavenger hunt searching for the final destination which leads them to their baskets. I didn't mean for this to become a yearly thing but the kids had so much fun with it the first time that I did again the next...and so on. Well, last year I didn't do it. Time got away from me. I procrastinated was busy and before I knew it Easter was here and I wasn't prepared for the scavenger hunt. My kids were very disappointed. They wouldn't let it go. So this year I knew better...I'm preparing early. I've been working on this for the past week. I still need a few more verses (because I need some more hiding places) but I thought I'd share what I have so far...I'll edit this post when/if I come up with some more verses before Easter Day. It's cheesy, I know, but please keep in mind that my target audience is a 5, 9, and 11 year old. I'm no poet....I'm not trying to be....just having fun with my kids! If you can think of any more verses or hiding places with a rhyme please share! RhymeZone.com is my new favorite website....

Hello Smurf children
It's the Easter Bunny here....
Have you been good to your parents
For the entire past year?


Last year was busy
So I took a little break...
Writing these rhymes
Made my brain start to ache.


Imagine my surprise
When I saw your sadness
That Easter would not start
With the scavenger hunt madness.


So I came BACK!
You will start the day with fun
Searching for your baskets
With a sprint and a run!


Well, lets take a look here,
Lets see what I wrote...
With so many children
I've had to take notes.


Ah, yes, now I remember...
It's been a busy year.
You've been very good
But there's some things you must hear.


Hefty Smurf,
I think you know what I'll say
You must work out you differences
In a more constructive way...
That Joe in your class
Is a very good kid
He just wants your attention
So the fighting I forbid...


Dreamy Smurf,
Your little sister loves you so much
She's just looking for kind words
Or a soft gentle touch.
It's important for you
To be a good loving big bro
Everyone, even your sister
Needs love to grow.


And little Smurfette,


The whining must stop
You have nothing to gain
By driving your mother
Completely insane.
Lets try harder
To use our "Big Girl" words
And leave the high pitched chirping
To all those colorful birds.


With all of that said
You have made me very happy
All your hard work in school
Makes this rabbit quite sappy.


So when everyone's awake
Let the fun begin
For if you solve all the clues
There will be a treasure to win.


Your first clue starts here...
Right in this room...
In the place where you keep
Things for Gracie to groom!


Ah, you found me
This clue was too easy
Go look for your next clue
Where you keep things that are cheesy.


I think I'll have to get tricky
To pull one over on you
Go look for your next clue
Where you might find some glue.


If you're ready for more
Get your coat and shoes
Cause we'll be heading outside
To find your next clues.

I can't seem to shake you
Your hot on my trail
You may find something interesting
In a slot for the mail.


You want another clue?
You could try making a wish...
Or maybe you'd rather just look
By Gracie's food dish.


Are you tired yet?
Have you had enough?
Maybe try looking
By your mom's scrapping stuff...


You may find another
You just never know
Near something you use
To clear all the snow.


If you'd like another clue
You should run straight
To the place you'll find daddy
Lifting some weights.


My pen is slowing
I'm running out of rhymes
But maybe you'll find something
Near some rolled dimes.

There is another clue
I must come clean
Somewhere outside
Near your trampoline.

I'm sorry to say
That our fun must end.
I have many more eggs
That I must send.

But don't you worry
And never you fear.
This bunny will be back
Year after year!

Just make sure you're good
And show others respect
And I'll be sure to visit again
And give you more eggs to collect.

So congratulations! You're all official members
of my scavenger hunt club.
You may find the grand prize
In your parents' jacuzzi tub.

Tackle it Tuesday!

This Tackle It Tuesday is good for the soul! Healing I tell you! I'm on a mission to get my house in order...one Tuesday at a time! Here's today's mission - my 2 bathroom junk drawers full of nastiness!

Please turn your attention to the bottom photo....notice we keep Power Bars in our

bathroom junk drawers!

You never know when you might be sitting on the pot and have an overwhelming desire for a snack. Then look at that head band resting ever so comfortably on my.........FOOT FILE!!!!

EEEWWWWWWWWWW!

Now take a peak at this ancient find below. That, my friends, is a 20 year old jar of lip goop...YES....20 years old! I bought that goop when I was in HIGH SCHOOL! And I've kept it around all these years for reasons unknown! I have no idea. I don't wear it. I don't like it. I can't imagine that there will ever come a time that I'll find this particular shade of neon, glow-in-the dark, glimmering peach attractive. Not only is it 20 years old...but it has been moved to FIVE different places of residence! College dorm room, apartment #1, apartment #2, home #1, and here...our current home. It's been packed and unpacked FIVE different times. And I HAVE NOT USED IT SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!!!! What is wrong with me...what particular kind of sickness is this? Well. No more. I have officially laid that goop to rest. It's in the garbage. Where it belongs. And I'm feeling a little sad.....LMAO! And I repeat....what is WRONG with me.

So, anyway, I'm done and it only took me 15 minutes....

ahhhhhhhhhh.....that wasn't so bad.....I feel so much better!

What's a Banchee!?

I did it...I stayed off the computer for over 72 hours! It hurt....a lot.....

Actually, that's a lie....I still read blogs I just didn't post any myself...I bow my head in shame and guilt

Hubby made it home safely Friday night....THANK GOD! The kids were OUT..... OF .....CONTROL! Major case of spring fever goin' on over here. It was 50 degrees out....practically summer!

I picked Smurfette up from school last week and the class was outside playing...there was one little tiny patch of grass showing as the snow had finally started to melt and EVERY kid was sitting on this tiny patch of grass...Smurfette yelled out when she saw me...."Mommy look, the grass is green, it's spring"...the boys came home from school screaming and carry'n on like banchees.... (K, what the hell is a banchee?)...just bounce'n off the walls....I actually had to separate them in the van on the way to gymnastics...it's never good when mom has to pull the van over!

I spent most of Friday and Saturday catching up on the things I had neglected because of my blog induced coma.

* I did at least 10 loads of laundry trying to get caught up on the sheets!
* Finally got around to cleaning the many accumulated stacks of shit in my kitchen...stacks that contained 3 month old magazines, bills, medical insurance "this is not a bill" forms, receipts, coupons, permission slips for the kids, school calendars, old birthday invitations, report cards, meap score results, school photos....the list is endless.....I really need a better organizational system in my kitchen.
* Picked up the boys' contacts & glasses from the eye docs.
* Dropped off Smurfette's health form to the pediatricians office for Kindergarten Registration (that reminds me...I have to remember to pick it up today)
* Made Hefty Smurf's well check appointment while I was there.
* Scheduled a scrapbooking date with the girls.
* AND we took the kids to see Horton Hears a Who . Very cute movie! The kids loved it. Of course, we had to take out a small loan to take our family of 5 to the movies...OMG....

Ironic happening of the week: I was invited to a friend's house for an adult "toy" party. This party takes place this coming week an hour after my scheduled annual appointment with my Ob-Gyn....I kid you not.... I thought that was pretty funny. Tell me, do you think there's anything in this world that could more efficiently cut "the mood" than going to see "Him". If there is...I'd love to here it!

The boys have both finally mastered putting in their contacts. I was starting to have visions of my 30 y/o son stopping by his parents' home on his way to work to ask mom to put his contacts in for him before going into work. A slight over-reaction....I realize that.

Yesterday was the boys' last gymnastics meet before the state competition. They both did wonderful. Dreamy Smurf received a 1st place medal for his rings routine (it was a beautiful routine if I don't say so myself) and received silver for the All Around; and Hefty Smurf got a 1st place for vault (flawless, I tell you!) and 4th place for the All Around. They both placed in 5 out of 6 events. AND Dreamy Smurf's level 6 team brought home the 1st place trophy.....yeayyyyyyy!!!!......We're so proud!

Funny story of the week....we were sitting watching the meet with friends and parents. Smurfette was on my lap. My friend Diane turned around and was chatting with Smurfette about our little dog, Gracie.

Dianne: So how's Gracie?
Smurfette: Good
Me: She's at home in her pen with Big Bird.....

K let me back track....Gracie is about 5 pounds. Big Bird is a stuffed animal that is the same size as Gracie. Ever since Gracie got Big Bird she mounts Big Bird and has her way with him....she has some gender confusion....and man she just goes to town on Big Bird every time she sees him. We went on our vacation for a week and had Gracie at the Pet Hotel and the first thing she ran for when she got home....was Big Bird. We actually have to hide Big Bird on occasion. Mainly because the kids just get a kick out of this and that just makes me cringe...do they know what she's doing?? I mean what are they laughing at if they don't!!?? So the kids get a laugh and in enters the word "humping". How do they know this word??!! So....instead of being a stellar parent and taking the time to have "the talk" we just hide Big Bird....problem solved!

so back to the conversation....Smurfette (my 5 year old..... quiet, shy, demure....little girl) then screams in a gym full of parents, coaches, and kids.....

"YEAH, SHE'S ALWAYS HUMP'N ON HIM"

OMG....So of course the parents bust a gut and I immediately put my hand over her mouth....and she....starts to cry. She has no idea why everyone is laughing at her and she's very sensitive. So she buried her face in my arm pit for the next 30 minutes while I had to try to explain to her why we shouldn't say this. How do you explain that to a 5 year old....meanwhile, my friend Diane is trying to explain to her mother why this would come out of a 5 year old's mouth and the best she could come up with through her giggles was "she has 2 older brothers"....

I write the rest of this post at the risk of sounding like I'm trying to be all profound and shit...I'm not...I assure you...profound that is....

But I am Passionate about finding the answers to questions that interest me. And lately that question is...what happens to us women after 10-15 years of marriage and being in our mid-thirties that makes us start thinking unhappy thoughts. I don't think it's coincidence that myself and my 2 closest friends all went through this same cycle. We've all been married about 13 years...we're all in our mid thirties....what happens to us. Hubby & I started it a couple years ago...we went through a rough patch and I went through my self-proclaimed mid life crisis. We got through it and then another friend went through it...they got over it and now ANOTHER friend is going through it! WHY!

So I've been doing alot of reading. The Secret, Eat Pray Love, A New Earth, The Passionate Marriage....I could go on but I'll spare you. A New Earth was just too difficult to read...I understand the message...I think...and it's a great message...but I think I'll have to try to re-read the book at a later date. So yesterday I went to the bookstore to find a book that's a little lighter than A New Earth but with similar content. I found Happiness Now...and Oprah's name is even on it...so I HAD to buy it. I'm LOVING this book. I'm having one "ah-ha" moment after another. I'm even reading it Oprah style with my highlighter....I'm sick, I know.

Because I'm the CEO that's why!

Is it fair to cross off "clean up frozen dog shit in backyard" from my "to do" list when I'm technically not the one that completed the task? I'm a delegator....I delegate....it's my job as CEO of my household....so as a successful CEO and delegator I found it necessary to delegate this important job of "frozen poop scooper upper" to the CFO and COO of our home....Hefty and Dreamy Smurf. This of course frees the CEO's precious time to continue blogging doing other important CEO stuff. I bow my head in shame.

OK....That's it...I REALLY need to get some stuff done around my house today...hubby's coming home this evening from his trip and he'll think I sat in front of the computer doing nothing all week while he was gone. Not that I care....I WAS sick after all.....but.....ya know! Hey, I did work out yesterday! and I made a huge pot of chicken veggie soup...and I poop scooped delegated....I even remembered to take the garbage to the curb last night.

I'm gonna try REALLY hard to keep away from my computer today. No easy task I assure you!

Thursday Thirteen

I'm out of control...I know....I admit it...the first step to recovery is admitting the problem...Hello, my name is Mama Smurf and I am a blogoholic!


I've seen some cool blogs listing "Thursday Thirteen", I have no idea where this originated from but I thought "hey, cool idea, I'll come up with a Thursday Thirteen post. I originally was thinking maybe "thirteen reasons I miss my hubby"...like "I REALLY don't want to take the trash out to the curb tonight".....but started listing the reasons and could only come up with 5 that weren't x-rated...reasons 6 - 13 were not suitable for an audience.

Then I thought....how about Thirteen tasks to complete for next weeks' "Tackle it Tuesday"....but as I started listing the tasks I realized that I was being a little over ambitious and completely unrealistic as we are going out of town again Sunday for another gymnastics meet. That left me with only 3 days to complete these tasks....it's just not gonna happen.

So here's my list....Thirteen things I COULD get done if I could get my ass away from my computer....

1) I could clean my kitchen window treatments....the dust bunnys are choking on the cob-webs.... 2) I could Clean out my 2 master bathroom junk drawers 3) I could figure out how to use my DVDirect (I've only had the darn thing for 3 months now and still haven't opened the box) 4) I could then transfer the videos on my camcorder to DVD 5) I could back-up/save all my picture files from my computer....I have 4 years worth of pictures on my computer and live in fear every day that my computer will crash and take with it all my beloved photos... 6) I could clean out our Kitchen Pantry 7) I could declutter my clothes in my closet 8) I could declutter my clothes in my drawers 9) I could make a run to Goodwill to get rid of my decluttered clothes 10) I could declutter Jordyn's clothes and shoes 11) I could give Jordyn's pile of decluttered clothes and shoes to my cousin for her daughter 12) I could pick up the frozen dog shit from the back patio...eeewwwwwww...... 13) I could make an appointment to get my hair colored and cut....the greys are BACK! I'm editing this blog to say that I found out where the Thursday Thirteen originated from. Here's the Link.

Wordless WHAT'S OUR WORLD COME TO Wednesday

I had every intention of participating in Wordless Wednesday again.....hosted by 5minutesformom.... but Kelly you know me so well....I just can't remain "wordless"....remaining "wordless" makes me break out in hives....



So here's my picture....



That is what my nightstand looks like right now. Would you like to know WHY my nightstand is covered in snot rags and an empty bottle of NyQuil....of COURSE you would....


Remember THIS post??


I have found out since that post that the reason NyQuil no longer works is because they took the good shit out of it. Yes, my friends, the good old once reliable "so you can sleep medicine" has been altered. Would you like to know WHY it's been altered?? Of COURSE you would! It's been altered because we live in a SICK society that is filled with drug addicted WACKOS! WACKOS who are intelligent enough to know how to make methamphetamines from these cold remedies but NOT intelligent enough to figure out how to earn a living the good old fashioned way! So, because of those WACKOS, we now live in a decongestant free society....NyQuil is no longer the "so you can sleep medicine"....and I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN DAYS!!!!! I NEED SLEEP.....I NEED DRUGS!


Have I mentioned, I'm just not a pleasant person when I haven't slept......

Tackle it Tuesday

K...my New years resolution has fallen apart...I had high hopes of becoming more organized. I posted that goal on Jan 8th....I cleaned the kitchen junk drawer that day and cleaned out the baskets of hats, gloves and scarves the next....and....that was it. Completely forgot about my goals of organizing my house. So the kids drawer in their bathroom is still nasty. And then comes along "Tackle it Tuesday". The organizational Gods are trying to save me from myself. I told you my life is touched by Divine intervention as posted here, here, and here and this is Divine intervention at it's best tapping me on the shoulder to remind me to get my act together. So, for "Tackle it Tuesday" I finally got around to cleaning THIS:




Please take note of the crusty dried up toothpaste on the drawer....this picture really does it no justice as the REALLY bad clumps are actually underneath all the shit.....

Please also take note of the TOOTHbrush resting nastily (is that a word?) on the HAIRbrush

ahhhhhhhh......I feel so much better now...Tooth products in one compartment and hair product in another....and the sad thing is this task only took me about 10 minutes. Next weeks project....MY bathroom junk drawer. I may need to start now to finish by next week as I have a LOT more shit than my kids do!...wish me luck!

What Mama Smurf Means
You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

Coombaya my Lord.....Coom-ba-yaaaaaaaaaa....

I haven't had a whole lotta time to enjoy this "blog party"...I've been too busy the last few days BEING SICK! I'm not even going to bother telling you about it because I know how redundant I'm sounding and as sick as I'm sure you (my 2 loyal blog followers) are of reading about it....I'm even more sick of typing about it...being sick that is!

I finally got a clue what this "blog party" is all about (please forgive my newbie ignorance) and really wanted to make a cool party page...but now the party is almost over and I'm sick. So this year I'll have to "eat & run".....Now that I've been officially sucked into this blogosphere I'll make sure I'm better prepared next year. =)

I also Didn't have time to prepare for the party because we were on another road trip this weekend. The boys had another gymnastics meet on the other side of the state. In case you were wondering, they did fanTAStic! They both took 1st place in their age group in the All Around...I'm just so darn proud of all their hard work!

Papa Smurf & I drove there in separate cars because he had a plane to catch Sunday evening. Destination? Europe! No, not Europe....FRANCE!.....oh....wait....& ITALY! What a booger! He leaves me sick and knee deep in snow to be a single parent for a week while he goes gallivanting across Europe....no....not Europe.....FRANCE!....and lets not forget ITALY!

Maybe that's what I'll do.....I'll have my own little blog pity party....get out the finger violins....lets all sing together.....

hmmm......what should we sing.....

Coombaya?......nah....we'd need a campfire...& I'm not prepared to take this party outside....It's 50 below zero out and my patio is covered in frozen dog shit.

Swing Low Sweet Chariot?....Nah....too mellow dramatic....

never mind....I can't sing anyway.....

AH....I know!....lets get drunk instead! How about a Long Island.....my hubby makes a mean Long Island....oh but wait....he's not here. (*note to self - have hubby teach me how to make a Long Island before his next trip).

K.....so no singing....& no drinking....my party SUCKS!

I'll tell ya what...I just made a big bowl (and "big bowl" translates into 10 pounds worth) of tuna noodle salad....I purposely made a huge batch so I wouldn't have to cook for the rest of the week.....but that's ok....I can share....we can all sit on the floor in a circle and pass the bowl around. And since we're all sitting around in a circle...presumably Indian style...hows about someone teaches me how to meditate. I've been meaning to learn how to meditate ever since reading "Eat, Pray, Love"....it's on my "to-do" list. Maybe we can knock that one off the list tonight. No??

Never mind...I'll just tell you a little about myself....that'll kill some time....

Let's see.....I'm a 35.8 y/o SAHM to 3 wonderful, beautiful, and healthy kids (Hefty Smurf 11, Dreamy Smurf 9, and Smurfette 5) and wife to a wonderfully intelligent, witty, funny, patient, and attractive man.....Papa Smurf. We've been married for almost 13 years and together for 17 years. College sweethearts. I recently officially resigned from my job as a registered nurse...I haven't decided yet if that was a wise choice....the jury is still out. I loved my job but our lives are just too hectic for it to be worth it right now. I originally had hoped to go back in the future when all my kids are in school full time....but I'm kinda enjoying being at home.

I have lots of interests and my days are always full. I love to scrapbook, read, sew (although....truth be told....my sewing machine has an inch of dust on it....I have a drawer full of untouched patterns though and hope to get to them REAL soon) hang out with friends, go shopping in my free time....oh, and lets not forget blogging.....my newest obsession.

I recently went through a self proclaimed mild....or maybe not so mild....depends on who you ask.....mid-life crisis. I decided in the midst of this said crisis that I had to run a marathon to recover from it....never ran a day in my life...couldn't even run the length of 2 houses without turning blue....but I let a very dear friend of mine =) convince me (and 5 other dear friends) that this was the thing to do. Turns out that I actually really enjoyed the experience and will be repeating the experience come October.

When I'm not at home I'm usually at my kids' school.... or at the gym working out ....or at gymnastics with the boys...or at dance class with Smurfette....or visiting with friends....or scrapbooking....

I used to be obsessively organized before kids....now, not so much.

I used to be the perfect parent before kids....now, not so much.

I used to be neurotically punctual before kids.....

I used to enjoy cooking and baking before kids.....

I never used to procrastinate before kids.....

I used to have a squeaky clean home before kids....now.....you get the idea....

The kids pretty much sucked all Type-A personality traits right out of me....well, maybe not all....I still know everything....

Lets see, what else....ah, important fact....I lack the filter between my brain and my mouth....it tends to get me into trouble more often than not....I'm working on that....

I hope to learn how to play the piano one day as I've had a key board in the basement for the past 5 years specifically for that reason...I insisted that was what I wanted for Christmas 5 years ago...and.....well......that too has an inch of dust on it.....

I've recently been trying to educate myself on politics...trying to identify with a specific party. Up until recently I had no clue whether I was republican or democrat...didn't know what either side stood for....and, quite frankly, didn't give a shit. I've always voted in the past with the eenie, meenie, minie, moe approach. So now, thank you satellite radio....I can officially say with a small amount of knowledge and certainty that I am a republican.....I think.....

And that's it in a nut shell....if you stick around long enough you'll learn more about my charming kids and their antics....or maybe I'll even tell you about how my first piano lesson goes....or I can show you my completed sewing projects....or my newly organized closets and drawers when I get to them....Sorry I couldn't offer you a drink. Take care, and come back soon....I promise to have better drinks and food next time!

Blog Roll Junky....I may need a twelve step program...

Hefty Smurf came home from school yesterday all happy, smiling, and short of breath and starts yelling...

HS: HEY MOM.....I GOT A FUNNY....FUNNY....FUNNY STORY FOR YOU.....
me: K...lets hear it...
HS: I was at school arguing with Taylor and.....
me:.....hold up....arguing as in a fight....or arguing as in ha-ha....
HS:....arguing as in ha-ha...we were passing notes back and forth in class and....
me:....hold up....passing notes in class while the teacher is teaching??!!.......
HS....NO!...WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH.....
me: K...sorry....
HS:....so we're passing notes and she says "you're so cute"...and I pass it back saying "no your cuter"....and she passes it back saying "nuh-uh"....and I said "uh-huh"...and she says "nuh-uh" and so I passed it back and said "OK...OK....I'm cute....but your HOT"

OH dear God....hear my prayers....I'm not ready for this....please give me a little more time to prepare for this tween adolescence....I'm just not ready.....I need at least another year....perhaps two?

Went back to the eye docs yesterday for the follow-up on the contact situation to see how the boys are doing and to order the long term supply...Hefty seems to have it down pat but Dreamy is still struggling. I'm still putting them in for him every morning. His gymnastics coach is getting a little irritated at the whole thing. Apparently earlier in the week Dreamy thought one of his contacts fell out so they stopped practice to put on a search for the "missing" contact which was found later on.........still in his eye! So we'll keep practicing and see how it goes.

I originally started blogging last May as a way to journal my 1st marathon experience. When the experience was over I decided to start a new blog as a way to journal our family memories. I'm obsessed with preserving our memories. That's why I love scrapbooking. I want my kids to remember EVERYthing. It's a morbid thought, I know, but....if something (God forbid) ever happens to me or Papa Smurf....I want my kids to have something to look back on to read and remember. I want them to know who I am and that I view every minute of every day with them as a blessing. I know this obsession comes from my own father's early death. I have very few memories of him because I was only 5 when he passed and that bothers me. I also think that because he died at such a young age (as did his sister) that I have this feeling of impending doom that my genes may also be rigged in such a way that I too will die young. I know this is irrational but I have to believe that thoughts of this nature are not all that uncommon for people in my situation. I've been journaling....or blogging.....with this sole purpose in mind. Keeping to my own little blog world. The only other blog I've ever visited is Because I Said So....I found her blog from the original ebay listing that she posted and have been reading ever since because I think she's hilarious. But I've never ventured outside of my own little blog world to discover this vast blog society that exists. Until this week. OMG. I had NO...CLUE....that this whole blog world was so large. NOT...A....CLUE! I started looking at the blog roll links in Dawn's blog and then at the blog roll links in Dawn's blog roll link's blog roll....never mind...I know what I'm trying to say....and 20 blog rolls later I'm hooked...I'm so addicted to this. It's so much fun catching glimpses of perfect strangers' lives. And some of these women are just hysterical. I've laughed so hard this past week by reading about other people's lives. It's a great way to start the day. I honestly have no idea why it's so intriguing. Probably for the same reason that reality TV is such a hit these days. So not only is this blogging a way of journaling but it's also a way of meeting new people around the world and making friends with people you have lots in common with. I really have to reign it in a little though....I've spent the majority of my free time in the last several days glued to the computer discovering this world....my poor daughter is starving for attention. Thank God she has become a "High School Musical" junky...it's keeping her occupied. But I really need to cool it.

A New Weight Loss Plan

So I just got back from the doc's office.....again......I've been on 3 rounds of antibiotics since December and this sore throat problem keeps recurring. Bottom line is....he says I have "cryptic Tonsils" with chronic tonsillitis as the result....he said my tonsils are huge. My glands in my throat are so swollen and painful from this chronic throat problem that I just about jumped off the table when he was feeling for them. So, he gave me a 3 week supply of antibiotics and said that if this doesn't knock it out then the next step is an ENT and tonsillectomy. My first reaction was....HELL no....I have no interest in going under the knife. But then I started coming to my senses and thinking that a tonsillectomy might be just what I need to kick my weight loss plan into gear!! It's a little extreme but drastic times call for drastic measures!

The Moment of Truth

So how about that new show The Moment Of Truth!!?? Ya know, when I first saw it advertised I thought...what a stupid game....how can they possibly keep the questions fresh...how can they possibly keep this interesting...people would have to be total losers to NOT make it through the questions...I mean, all you have to do is be honest....LOL! So hubby & I were watching it last night and we went back and forth with each question.."How would YOU answer". None of the questions were particularly disturbing to me UNTIL he asked the question...."Do you think you're a better mother to your children than your mother was to you"

.....My first response was "what a bullshit question". That's really seems like a very grey question...there's no yes/no answer for it. So hubby says..."what would your answer be"....and I honestly don't have an answer. I think the lie detector would bounce off the table regardless of how I answer. On the one hand I think "yes" I am a better mother. But I would have to clarify that by saying...I have many more resources available to me than my mother did, she did a damn fine job with the raw hand that life dealt her. Widowed at 27, 2 young kids (ages 5 & 2), no job, no college education. She was never home because she was always at work or at school and when she WAS home she was cooking, baking, or cleaning, or carting our butts to our extracurricular activities. So my "yes" answer is only because I'm home with my kids...I'm available to them...she didn't have a choice in the matter.

But on the flip side...I would also have to say "no" because if I had been handed the same raw deal in life I know there's no way I would have handled the situation with such grace and control. I would have completely fallen apart. My mother is a saint.

Anyway...changing the subject....I feel like doo-doo...AGAIN! This throat thing keeps coming back...I feel like I've been sick this entire winter. it's getting a little aggravating. Back to the docs. In case you missed hearing me say it...."I hate Michigan"....

Worked out the last 3 days. Met with my trainer yesterday. I begged her to focus on lower body because my upper body was screaming in pain from the last 2 work outs. Was planning on working out again today but promptly changed my mind when I rolled out of bed...went to the bathroom and groaned in pain when my butt hit the toilet seat...Oh boy does my butt hurt. I couldn't see how another 500 squats would help the situation so I played hooky today.

Wordless Wednesday