Scavenger hunt madness...

I posted today before I realized that it was "wordless wednesday"....I'm not real good at the wordless thing anyway...so I'm editing this post to add this photo....

I'm adding this photo because this would be yet.another.junk.drawer in my house. Before I registered my daughter for Kindergarten yesterday I was on a frantic search for my daughter's birth certificate...a necessary piece of paperwork for registering. I waited till the last minute to get it because I knew exactly where it was....no big deal....we keep important documents such as birth certificates in our safe...I mean where else would a responsible parent keep such things. Yeah...right! So needless to say...her birth certificate after 30 minutes of searching was found buried beneath all of that crap you see in that photo. Of course...it's perfectly reasonable to find your child's birth certificate buried beneath a pile of crap...where else would it be. We I need help.

Below is my original posting:

I had Smurfette's Kindergarten registration last night. I have mixed emotions. Part of me is sad to see my youngest going off to school. But the other side of me.....=)......is doin the happy dance! I'm trying to get her into all day Kindergarten because she needs it. She'll be almost 6 when she starts (she's a December birthday) and she is bored stiff with me during the day. She has NO friends her age in our neighborhood and the poor girl needs a social outlet. I have her in Dance class and Gymnastics class but it's just not enough. So....I'm trying to get her into all day Kindergarten. I won't know until May whether she'll get in or not. The down fall is....the all day Kindergarten isn't at our home school. She would have to go to a different school than the boys and I would have to drive and pick her up....We'll see.

About 5 years ago I started a tradition in our home. I didn't mean to, it just happened. On Easter morning the Bunny leaves the kids a note in the form of a poem and leads them around our house in a scavenger hunt searching for the final destination which leads them to their baskets. I didn't mean for this to become a yearly thing but the kids had so much fun with it the first time that I did again the next...and so on. Well, last year I didn't do it. Time got away from me. I procrastinated was busy and before I knew it Easter was here and I wasn't prepared for the scavenger hunt. My kids were very disappointed. They wouldn't let it go. So this year I knew better...I'm preparing early. I've been working on this for the past week. I still need a few more verses (because I need some more hiding places) but I thought I'd share what I have so far...I'll edit this post when/if I come up with some more verses before Easter Day. It's cheesy, I know, but please keep in mind that my target audience is a 5, 9, and 11 year old. I'm no poet....I'm not trying to be....just having fun with my kids! If you can think of any more verses or hiding places with a rhyme please share! RhymeZone.com is my new favorite website....

Hello Smurf children
It's the Easter Bunny here....
Have you been good to your parents
For the entire past year?


Last year was busy
So I took a little break...
Writing these rhymes
Made my brain start to ache.


Imagine my surprise
When I saw your sadness
That Easter would not start
With the scavenger hunt madness.


So I came BACK!
You will start the day with fun
Searching for your baskets
With a sprint and a run!


Well, lets take a look here,
Lets see what I wrote...
With so many children
I've had to take notes.


Ah, yes, now I remember...
It's been a busy year.
You've been very good
But there's some things you must hear.


Hefty Smurf,
I think you know what I'll say
You must work out you differences
In a more constructive way...
That Joe in your class
Is a very good kid
He just wants your attention
So the fighting I forbid...


Dreamy Smurf,
Your little sister loves you so much
She's just looking for kind words
Or a soft gentle touch.
It's important for you
To be a good loving big bro
Everyone, even your sister
Needs love to grow.


And little Smurfette,


The whining must stop
You have nothing to gain
By driving your mother
Completely insane.
Lets try harder
To use our "Big Girl" words
And leave the high pitched chirping
To all those colorful birds.


With all of that said
You have made me very happy
All your hard work in school
Makes this rabbit quite sappy.


So when everyone's awake
Let the fun begin
For if you solve all the clues
There will be a treasure to win.


Your first clue starts here...
Right in this room...
In the place where you keep
Things for Gracie to groom!


Ah, you found me
This clue was too easy
Go look for your next clue
Where you keep things that are cheesy.


I think I'll have to get tricky
To pull one over on you
Go look for your next clue
Where you might find some glue.


If you're ready for more
Get your coat and shoes
Cause we'll be heading outside
To find your next clues.

I can't seem to shake you
Your hot on my trail
You may find something interesting
In a slot for the mail.


You want another clue?
You could try making a wish...
Or maybe you'd rather just look
By Gracie's food dish.


Are you tired yet?
Have you had enough?
Maybe try looking
By your mom's scrapping stuff...


You may find another
You just never know
Near something you use
To clear all the snow.


If you'd like another clue
You should run straight
To the place you'll find daddy
Lifting some weights.


My pen is slowing
I'm running out of rhymes
But maybe you'll find something
Near some rolled dimes.

There is another clue
I must come clean
Somewhere outside
Near your trampoline.

I'm sorry to say
That our fun must end.
I have many more eggs
That I must send.

But don't you worry
And never you fear.
This bunny will be back
Year after year!

Just make sure you're good
And show others respect
And I'll be sure to visit again
And give you more eggs to collect.

So congratulations! You're all official members
of my scavenger hunt club.
You may find the grand prize
In your parents' jacuzzi tub.

Tackle it Tuesday!

This Tackle It Tuesday is good for the soul! Healing I tell you! I'm on a mission to get my house in order...one Tuesday at a time! Here's today's mission - my 2 bathroom junk drawers full of nastiness!

Please turn your attention to the bottom photo....notice we keep Power Bars in our

bathroom junk drawers!

You never know when you might be sitting on the pot and have an overwhelming desire for a snack. Then look at that head band resting ever so comfortably on my.........FOOT FILE!!!!

EEEWWWWWWWWWW!

Now take a peak at this ancient find below. That, my friends, is a 20 year old jar of lip goop...YES....20 years old! I bought that goop when I was in HIGH SCHOOL! And I've kept it around all these years for reasons unknown! I have no idea. I don't wear it. I don't like it. I can't imagine that there will ever come a time that I'll find this particular shade of neon, glow-in-the dark, glimmering peach attractive. Not only is it 20 years old...but it has been moved to FIVE different places of residence! College dorm room, apartment #1, apartment #2, home #1, and here...our current home. It's been packed and unpacked FIVE different times. And I HAVE NOT USED IT SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!!!! What is wrong with me...what particular kind of sickness is this? Well. No more. I have officially laid that goop to rest. It's in the garbage. Where it belongs. And I'm feeling a little sad.....LMAO! And I repeat....what is WRONG with me.

So, anyway, I'm done and it only took me 15 minutes....

ahhhhhhhhhh.....that wasn't so bad.....I feel so much better!

What's a Banchee!?

I did it...I stayed off the computer for over 72 hours! It hurt....a lot.....

Actually, that's a lie....I still read blogs I just didn't post any myself...I bow my head in shame and guilt

Hubby made it home safely Friday night....THANK GOD! The kids were OUT..... OF .....CONTROL! Major case of spring fever goin' on over here. It was 50 degrees out....practically summer!

I picked Smurfette up from school last week and the class was outside playing...there was one little tiny patch of grass showing as the snow had finally started to melt and EVERY kid was sitting on this tiny patch of grass...Smurfette yelled out when she saw me...."Mommy look, the grass is green, it's spring"...the boys came home from school screaming and carry'n on like banchees.... (K, what the hell is a banchee?)...just bounce'n off the walls....I actually had to separate them in the van on the way to gymnastics...it's never good when mom has to pull the van over!

I spent most of Friday and Saturday catching up on the things I had neglected because of my blog induced coma.

* I did at least 10 loads of laundry trying to get caught up on the sheets!
* Finally got around to cleaning the many accumulated stacks of shit in my kitchen...stacks that contained 3 month old magazines, bills, medical insurance "this is not a bill" forms, receipts, coupons, permission slips for the kids, school calendars, old birthday invitations, report cards, meap score results, school photos....the list is endless.....I really need a better organizational system in my kitchen.
* Picked up the boys' contacts & glasses from the eye docs.
* Dropped off Smurfette's health form to the pediatricians office for Kindergarten Registration (that reminds me...I have to remember to pick it up today)
* Made Hefty Smurf's well check appointment while I was there.
* Scheduled a scrapbooking date with the girls.
* AND we took the kids to see Horton Hears a Who . Very cute movie! The kids loved it. Of course, we had to take out a small loan to take our family of 5 to the movies...OMG....

Ironic happening of the week: I was invited to a friend's house for an adult "toy" party. This party takes place this coming week an hour after my scheduled annual appointment with my Ob-Gyn....I kid you not.... I thought that was pretty funny. Tell me, do you think there's anything in this world that could more efficiently cut "the mood" than going to see "Him". If there is...I'd love to here it!

The boys have both finally mastered putting in their contacts. I was starting to have visions of my 30 y/o son stopping by his parents' home on his way to work to ask mom to put his contacts in for him before going into work. A slight over-reaction....I realize that.

Yesterday was the boys' last gymnastics meet before the state competition. They both did wonderful. Dreamy Smurf received a 1st place medal for his rings routine (it was a beautiful routine if I don't say so myself) and received silver for the All Around; and Hefty Smurf got a 1st place for vault (flawless, I tell you!) and 4th place for the All Around. They both placed in 5 out of 6 events. AND Dreamy Smurf's level 6 team brought home the 1st place trophy.....yeayyyyyyy!!!!......We're so proud!

Funny story of the week....we were sitting watching the meet with friends and parents. Smurfette was on my lap. My friend Diane turned around and was chatting with Smurfette about our little dog, Gracie.

Dianne: So how's Gracie?
Smurfette: Good
Me: She's at home in her pen with Big Bird.....

K let me back track....Gracie is about 5 pounds. Big Bird is a stuffed animal that is the same size as Gracie. Ever since Gracie got Big Bird she mounts Big Bird and has her way with him....she has some gender confusion....and man she just goes to town on Big Bird every time she sees him. We went on our vacation for a week and had Gracie at the Pet Hotel and the first thing she ran for when she got home....was Big Bird. We actually have to hide Big Bird on occasion. Mainly because the kids just get a kick out of this and that just makes me cringe...do they know what she's doing?? I mean what are they laughing at if they don't!!?? So the kids get a laugh and in enters the word "humping". How do they know this word??!! So....instead of being a stellar parent and taking the time to have "the talk" we just hide Big Bird....problem solved!

so back to the conversation....Smurfette (my 5 year old..... quiet, shy, demure....little girl) then screams in a gym full of parents, coaches, and kids.....

"YEAH, SHE'S ALWAYS HUMP'N ON HIM"

OMG....So of course the parents bust a gut and I immediately put my hand over her mouth....and she....starts to cry. She has no idea why everyone is laughing at her and she's very sensitive. So she buried her face in my arm pit for the next 30 minutes while I had to try to explain to her why we shouldn't say this. How do you explain that to a 5 year old....meanwhile, my friend Diane is trying to explain to her mother why this would come out of a 5 year old's mouth and the best she could come up with through her giggles was "she has 2 older brothers"....

I write the rest of this post at the risk of sounding like I'm trying to be all profound and shit...I'm not...I assure you...profound that is....

But I am Passionate about finding the answers to questions that interest me. And lately that question is...what happens to us women after 10-15 years of marriage and being in our mid-thirties that makes us start thinking unhappy thoughts. I don't think it's coincidence that myself and my 2 closest friends all went through this same cycle. We've all been married about 13 years...we're all in our mid thirties....what happens to us. Hubby & I started it a couple years ago...we went through a rough patch and I went through my self-proclaimed mid life crisis. We got through it and then another friend went through it...they got over it and now ANOTHER friend is going through it! WHY!

So I've been doing alot of reading. The Secret, Eat Pray Love, A New Earth, The Passionate Marriage....I could go on but I'll spare you. A New Earth was just too difficult to read...I understand the message...I think...and it's a great message...but I think I'll have to try to re-read the book at a later date. So yesterday I went to the bookstore to find a book that's a little lighter than A New Earth but with similar content. I found Happiness Now...and Oprah's name is even on it...so I HAD to buy it. I'm LOVING this book. I'm having one "ah-ha" moment after another. I'm even reading it Oprah style with my highlighter....I'm sick, I know.

Because I'm the CEO that's why!

Is it fair to cross off "clean up frozen dog shit in backyard" from my "to do" list when I'm technically not the one that completed the task? I'm a delegator....I delegate....it's my job as CEO of my household....so as a successful CEO and delegator I found it necessary to delegate this important job of "frozen poop scooper upper" to the CFO and COO of our home....Hefty and Dreamy Smurf. This of course frees the CEO's precious time to continue blogging doing other important CEO stuff. I bow my head in shame.

OK....That's it...I REALLY need to get some stuff done around my house today...hubby's coming home this evening from his trip and he'll think I sat in front of the computer doing nothing all week while he was gone. Not that I care....I WAS sick after all.....but.....ya know! Hey, I did work out yesterday! and I made a huge pot of chicken veggie soup...and I poop scooped delegated....I even remembered to take the garbage to the curb last night.

I'm gonna try REALLY hard to keep away from my computer today. No easy task I assure you!

Thursday Thirteen

I'm out of control...I know....I admit it...the first step to recovery is admitting the problem...Hello, my name is Mama Smurf and I am a blogoholic!


I've seen some cool blogs listing "Thursday Thirteen", I have no idea where this originated from but I thought "hey, cool idea, I'll come up with a Thursday Thirteen post. I originally was thinking maybe "thirteen reasons I miss my hubby"...like "I REALLY don't want to take the trash out to the curb tonight".....but started listing the reasons and could only come up with 5 that weren't x-rated...reasons 6 - 13 were not suitable for an audience.

Then I thought....how about Thirteen tasks to complete for next weeks' "Tackle it Tuesday"....but as I started listing the tasks I realized that I was being a little over ambitious and completely unrealistic as we are going out of town again Sunday for another gymnastics meet. That left me with only 3 days to complete these tasks....it's just not gonna happen.

So here's my list....Thirteen things I COULD get done if I could get my ass away from my computer....

1) I could clean my kitchen window treatments....the dust bunnys are choking on the cob-webs.... 2) I could Clean out my 2 master bathroom junk drawers 3) I could figure out how to use my DVDirect (I've only had the darn thing for 3 months now and still haven't opened the box) 4) I could then transfer the videos on my camcorder to DVD 5) I could back-up/save all my picture files from my computer....I have 4 years worth of pictures on my computer and live in fear every day that my computer will crash and take with it all my beloved photos... 6) I could clean out our Kitchen Pantry 7) I could declutter my clothes in my closet 8) I could declutter my clothes in my drawers 9) I could make a run to Goodwill to get rid of my decluttered clothes 10) I could declutter Jordyn's clothes and shoes 11) I could give Jordyn's pile of decluttered clothes and shoes to my cousin for her daughter 12) I could pick up the frozen dog shit from the back patio...eeewwwwwww...... 13) I could make an appointment to get my hair colored and cut....the greys are BACK! I'm editing this blog to say that I found out where the Thursday Thirteen originated from. Here's the Link.

Wordless WHAT'S OUR WORLD COME TO Wednesday

I had every intention of participating in Wordless Wednesday again.....hosted by 5minutesformom.... but Kelly you know me so well....I just can't remain "wordless"....remaining "wordless" makes me break out in hives....



So here's my picture....



That is what my nightstand looks like right now. Would you like to know WHY my nightstand is covered in snot rags and an empty bottle of NyQuil....of COURSE you would....


Remember THIS post??


I have found out since that post that the reason NyQuil no longer works is because they took the good shit out of it. Yes, my friends, the good old once reliable "so you can sleep medicine" has been altered. Would you like to know WHY it's been altered?? Of COURSE you would! It's been altered because we live in a SICK society that is filled with drug addicted WACKOS! WACKOS who are intelligent enough to know how to make methamphetamines from these cold remedies but NOT intelligent enough to figure out how to earn a living the good old fashioned way! So, because of those WACKOS, we now live in a decongestant free society....NyQuil is no longer the "so you can sleep medicine"....and I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN DAYS!!!!! I NEED SLEEP.....I NEED DRUGS!


Have I mentioned, I'm just not a pleasant person when I haven't slept......