oooohhhhhmmmmmmmmm......

Did anyone happen to watch this last night? The Last Lecture: A love story for your life. This man, Randy Pausch, and his wife Ray are true inspirations. If you haven't seen it you should. It'll make you question the way you live your life. You can read the entire lecture here.

Completely changing the subject:

When I was younger and dancing in recitals I would start having recurring nightmares 2-3 weeks before the shows every single year. The dreams were always the same and were always one of the following...

1. Falling off the stage

2. walking out on stage during the wrong dance and having to fake my way through the dance. I would always wake up and think to my self..."why the hell didn't you just run off the stage dummy!

3. Forgetting costumes and dance shoes and having to run back home for them and ending up missing the show entirely because I was late getting back with missing items.

The reason I tell you that is to tell you this.....I've been having a hard time sleeping the last few nights. I go to bed anxious and nervous and my mind is just rattling with all the thoughts and things to do lists. I couldn't explain the feeling of unease...I was actually thinking to myself last night that it's time to start learning to meditate...I have GOT to learn how to empty my brain at night.

Anyway, I figured out the source of the nervousness this morning. I noticed last night that I have less than 2 weeks left before my girls trip. This is our 4th annual girls trip and every year about this time I start having nightmares about traveling. 90% of the time when I'm traveling I'm with my husband and family, and Papa Smurf always drives and takes care of the luggage check-in and tickets and such. I can't explain why but I'm always a nervous wreck about traveling without him. And it makes no sense because I'm not travelling alone. My friends and I are all on the same flight and we're all driving to the airport together. I'm a very independent woman. But for some reason travelling without my family turns me into a freak.

So last night I had one of THOSE dreams.

I drove to the airport and realized I didn't have my drivers licence. They wouldn't give me a ticket without it. My friends were urging me to run back home and get it because I had plenty of time....2 hours.....I live 45 minutes from the airport....on a good day....that's an hour and a half both ways.... So of course, I try to rush home but there's construction and traffic and I get lost. I get back to the airport 5 minutes late and the plane has already taken off and there are no more flights out for the next 4 days.

I really need meditation in my life.