OMG....freaking OUT right now....

edited to add - I'll have an update sometime after 1pm. My niece and nephew are over right now so I won't be able to leave for the drug store until sometime after 1pm. I honestly don't think I can even wait to get home with it. I'll probably take the test right in the public bathroom at the store. After I wrote this post last night I went and got into my jammies and started freaking even more when I noticed that my boobs even have those big blue veins that I had when I was pregnant. OMG. I CAN'T be pregnant!

I'm kinda freak'n out right now. My boobs hurt. My boobs haven't hurt like this since I was pregnant 6 years ago. And they seem unusually large. Hubby came home from work and I said "yah know, if I didn't know any better I'd swear I was pregnant."

He gave me the "don't even joke about a thing like that" look.

I was only kidding.

I mean, it would be impossible for me to be pregnant.

Hubby had the big "V" over 5 years ago. But he never went back to get retested to make sure the little swimmers were gone.

I had the endometrial ablasion done over 4 years ago. Now the endometrial ablasion isn't a form of birth control and no studies have been done on pregnancy after this procedure but I was told by the doc that it would be difficult to become pregnant because it leaves an unwelcoming home for an embryo to implant itself.

But then once the words were out of my mouth I started thinking....obsessing really.

My boobs hurt, my back hurts, I've been crampy, I've been exhausted, I've been waking up to pee in the middle of the night again....and wait a minute....now that I'm thinking obsessing about this maybe my near inability to keep my breakfast down on Saturday morning had nothing to do with the two vodka/lemonades I drank.

OMG I'm freaking. I know I'm not pregnant. I can't be pregnant. Right? I mean what would the odds be? Seriously.

OMG...I CAN'T be pregnant!

But you know what? One of my neighbors had a post vasectomy baby 6 years after the fact.

Hubby just left to get a pregnancy test. We're freaking....just a little....

edited to add....all stores are closed! Five stores...all closed at 10pm. OMG! I'll be up all night now!

Moment for ME Monday

I had an entire weekend of no kids fighting, no kids to feed, no kids to entertain, no kids to chauffeur, no house to clean, no laundry to wash, no piles of dog shit to clean out of the carpet, no potty puddles to wipe off the kitchen floor, no baths to give, no bills to pay, no groceries to buy, no.....yeah...you get the idea.

I left Friday late afternoon to head on over to Kelly's house. There were a total of six of us that evening....two of which were not staying for the entire weekend. The last of our friends arrived at eight. She had travelled from Ohio. We all brought our scrap booking stuff down to the basement...grabbed a drink...went out to the backyard...and never made it back to the basement! We sat outside enjoying the fine evening and chatting and laughing and drinking. It was wonderfully relaxing.

Our Gracious Host: Kelly (I can't remember what the goofy sad face was for but I'm guessing it's because she was the only one drinking water....and pregnant.....)

From Left to Right: Becky, Tina, Kelly, & Traci

And on the far Right: Michelle

(The empty seat next to Michelle is ME)

Our gracious host bought steaks and potatoes for the grill. Wanna know what happens when you eat too many chips and dip and several hand fulls of peanut m&ms before dinner? You don't want dinner. Wanna know what happens when you don't eat dinner and then drink two glasses of lemonade and vodka? You get disgustingly drunk. The world starts-a-spin'n and it becomes increasingly difficult to focus and you desperately want to be one of those people that can make yourself puke. I'm not one of those people....and. yes, I tried.

I'm embarrassed to tell you this. I'm embarrassed to say among a world of classy and perfect blogging mothers that mwah...a grown 36 y/o mother of three...got shit faced to the point of wanting to puke. BUT I ONLY HAD TWO DRINKS!! SERIOUSLY! Who gets THAT shit faced from TWO drinks. And it totally snuck up on me...when I finished the second drink I was feel'n good and think'n "kay...I feel good...I'll stop now." Half hour later I was thinking "kay...I don't feel so good...I should'a stopped sooner....too late." This wasn't exactly the Moment for Me I had imagined.

Needless to stay...I didn't get any scrapbooking done Friday night.

Was suppose to run Saturday morning with Traci but could barely keep my breakfast down.

I didn't go running.

My "two drink limit" is forever changed to a "one drink limit"....and I think I need to stay away from vodka. What has happened to me? Is this an age thing? Cause I'm not dig'n it.

We then spent all day Saturday and Sunday morning in the basement scrapbooking. I'm loving this digital scrapbooking. All I packed for the weekend was my laptop. It was wonderful. I started the boys' gymnastics books and am almost completely caught up with their last season. I finished a total of 20 pages on my computer. YEAY! I would've taken pictures of all of us in the basement scrap'n away....but....well....I kinda forgot about my camera.

Came home Sunday afternoon and spent the entire rest of the day doing yard work. Pulled weeds, put down preen, and put in plants around our patio behind the recently completed retaining wall while the hubby spread dirt and mulch and straightened up the garage. We have a two and a half car garage and cant even squeeze ONE car in it.

And now it's Monday morning and I SWORE I was going to go running this morning.."no excuses" I told myself....But I sit here at the computer with a stiff neck from staring down at a computer all weekend and a stiff back from yesterdays yard work. Again, is this an age thing? I'll go, I'll go...but not till after my coffee!

I finally figured out the Mister Linky thingy.

Fitness Friday

Friday 6/20 - Ran 3 miles chasing after my boys on their bikes...not a good idea. Trying to keep up with them was forcing me to run too fast which was tuckering me out. Didn't bring my timer but I took LOTS of walk breaks. Didn't feel good at all but I'm glad I went....if for no other reason than to see first hand why I will NEVER cave into my child's persistent pleas to allow him to go bike riding without his helmet!
Thing 1 is constantly arguing with me about this....with the "but (so & so) doesn't have to wear THEIR helmet", and the "I've NEVER fallen off my bike...what could happen", and the "you're so over-protective" arguments......to the point that sometimes I wonder if maybe I should lighten up in my helmet nazi-ism.

During this bike ride he decided to turn around because he was getting way ahead of us.

He turned around in the street.

Without looking.

RIGHT IN FRONT OF AN SUV!!!!

After screaming at him for being so careless and nearly giving his mother and the poor man behind the wheel of the SUV a heart attack.....I thanked him for proving my point! I then proceeded to make up a bunch of completely untrue facts about bicycle safety and bike accidents being the "#1 cause of accidental death in kids under the age of 14"....totally not true....totally pulled that out of my ass. And then came home to google it to see if I was even CLOSE to being right. Nope. Totally off the mark. But I'm not above lying to my children to support the current argument. Shhh. Don't tell them.

Saturday 6/22- Kicked some serious running butt today. Ran 9.25 miles in 1:50 with an 11:56 pace. Had my Garmin set for 6/2 intervals but was feeling so good in the middle 3 that I was skipping lots of the walk breaks. Ran the first 2 miles in the rain which was very refreshing and enjoyable. At mile 7 I met up with a girl that was running my pace and so I ended up running the last 2 miles straight through with her. Felt AWESOME! And of course....the one day I didn't bring my camera there were 2 deer (somewhere in the 4th or 5th mile) in a field right at the side of the road....maybe 20 yards away. Fantastic morning.

Monday 6/24- Ran 3 miles at the gym on the treadmill. It sucked. I hate the treadmill. REALLY hate the treadmill....in a what the hell am I suppose to look at, I can't read the TV captioning, why on earth did this man have to choose to run directly next to me when there are at least 40 other treadmills to choose from and I have to fart and I can't kind of way. Oh well, it's done, I ran. Wasn't pretty.

Tuesday 6/25 - Back on the treadmill for 5 miles. Slightly less excruciating today as I was watching Under the Tuscan Sun on my video ipod while I ran. Made the time go by faster and took my mind off the fact that I was on a treadmill....God bless the inventors of the video ipod. Walked the first 5 minutes and walked the last 5 minutes and ran the rest straight through. She's back on her game folks!

Wednesday 6/26 - Was suppose to run 3...only ran 2....for several reasons....

a) I was on a treadmill.

b) My movie, Under the Tuscan Sun, finished in the middle of the 2nd mile.

c) I HAD TO PEE! .....And last but certainly not least.....

d) My sports bra wasn't doin a whole lotta support'n....my boobs are already coming dangerously close to my belly button and I started having visions of tripping over them if I continued much longer! Needless to say, it wasn't one of my better runs.

But I did a half hour of a core strength class....that's gotta count for something.

Today - I'm suppose to run. I'm not gonna run. I hurt. Yeah, about that core strength class?....I don't think I'll be repeating that mistake anytime soon. Did I mention I hurt?

I'll be on hiatus for a few days as I'm leaving tonight to spend the weekend on a scrapbooking slumber party with 3 other dear friends.....at Kelly's house. We'll spend our time scrapbooking, lounging in her pool, and getting foot massages from the cabana boy......LMAO! We all decided, without his consent, that we'd hire Kelly's hot husband to be our chef and cabana boy. And we're not above bribery...you see, Randy (Kelly's husband), has a thing for Asian women.....no, Randy, nothing is sacred in bloggy land....so we've decided to dress in kimonos and use make-up to visually alter our ethnicity...maybe even throw in a pillow fight or two....in exchange for a good meal and foot rub.

I'll be back Monday with a Moment Weekend for Me post to tell you all about it!

Oh, and I'm going to start posting my running/fitness updates on Saturday. Cause I want to continue doing the Flashback Fridays and I can't do 2 Friday posts...it's too hard. I need a cool dorky name for it....Fitness Saturday just doesn't work for me. Any suggestions?

Oh, and in case you were wondering...I'm still 143 lbs and I'm still smoking. I know I'm only making up excuses but it's been a crazy week with hubby gone. I'm smoking much less though. I'll get there...

Hope you have a fantastic weekend!

PS....I've been trying to fix the spacing in this post for the last 15 minutes....I give up!

Little Miss Dance'n Diva

Aqua Net + makeup + costume = One Sassy Dance'n Diva

It amazes me. This shy little girl was slowly transforming into a diva through the rehearsal preparation.

After the blush application...."mommy my cheeks are pink...do I look like you now?"

After the eyeshadow application...."mommy my eyes look pretty!"

After the lipstick went on...."um...mommy....I kinda look like a clown."

After the curls went in "mommy, I can't stop staring at myself, I look so different."

After the costume was on "Oh bo-ooyyyyys....come look at me....don't I look beautiful?" (talking to her brothers)

Walking out the door to leave for rehearsal..."hang on mommy, I want to look at my self again" (goes in the bathroom, turns on the light, gets a look in the mirror, has a HUGE smile on her face, shuts off the light) "Okay, I'm done, lets go"

In the car on the way to rehearsal...."mommy, is there a mirror in the car"....."no, why"...."cause I want to look at myself again, I like looking at myself"

LMAO

OMG I've created a monster!

Here's Little Miss Dance'n Diva Ham'n it up on stage......

M4M substitute

Sunday was a perfect day.



Sun was shining. Gloriously warm.



Spent the afternoon at my parent's house for dinner after doing some chores around the house in the morning. After dinner at my parent's house we all came back to my house as I solicited their help in pulling a few bushes.



The kids were abnormally civil to one another all day. They played hide and seek together in the yard. They played soccer together. They played with Rosie outside chasing her around the yard. The boys played with Thing 3 on the computer helping her earn money on her webkinz account.....oh yes they did....



Late afternoon the house was quiet. Not a sound.



I was on my couch reading my latest People magazine in total silence.



Where did the kids disappear to?



No TVs were on.



No bickering was heard.



I wandered around the house to see what they were getting into and here is what I found....

Thing 3 on the computer playing Webkinz....

trying to earn enough money to buy her little dog a bathtub...

Thing 2 was downstairs watching something on the tube....

And here was Thing 1.....laying outside on the lounge chair on the patio reading his latest James Patterson book....he looks so relaxed and peaceful doesn't he?

Earlier in the day at my mom's house....after dinner....my parents and my brother and I were sitting around the table chatting and I glanced outside and found all 3 of my kids sitting beside each other on a swing. The boys were each reading their James Patterson books (for those not in the know James Patterson also writes a fabulous teen series) it would have been a perfect picture moment but of course I didn't have my camera with me....and I was kicking myself.

My kids LOVE to read....and I LOVE that my kids LOVE to read!

Just hang'n out...

In all the months of marathon training I did last year I found myself to be one of the lucky ones. No injuries, no ailments, no knee problems, no muscle pulls, I never even had so much as a blister on my foot. I kid you not. While my friends were all complaining of lost toe nails, shin splints, and hairline fractures....I was breezing right along injury free.


BUT, I've been plagued with lower back pain all my life. The older I get....the bigger the pain. When I was younger is was just a tight ache when I was on my feet for long periods of time. When I started working as an RN the tight ache turned into a throbbing ache and when I started running the throbbing ache turned into sharp stabbing nerve pains. Running aggravates it. Sleeping aggravates it. Walking, sitting, and breathing aggravate it. When I had to stop running during last year's marathon my legs and feet felt great....it was my back that was doing me in.


I was seeing a chiropractor for more than 3 months in the middle of my training last year and it did absolutely nothing for me....other than drain our medical reimbursement account. He explained to me that my problem will never be solved until I stop sleeping on my stomach... to which I responded with a hardy...then why am I paying you for 3 visits each week? So I stopped going.


I'm a stomach sleeper. I canNOT sleep on my back. I slept on my stomach until I was 7 months pregnant. And then didn't sleep for the last 2 months straight. I always laughed and said that this was God's way of preparing me for the sleepless nights after childbirth. I've tried also sleeping on my side with a pillow wedged between my legs and that doesn't do it for me either. I need to be on my stomach. I even recently saw my OBGYN to rule out female problems as the cause of the lower back pain.


My parents just recently purchased this contraption as my mother has severe scoliosis...and severe back pain associated with the scoliosis....

An inversion table. It hangs you upside down. The gravity apparently has the same effect on your spine as it used to have on my hair. It elongates. I tried it yesterday. I didn't feel any different after only one use...I tried it again this afternoon and my back immediately gave a loud crack. I certainly feels great hanging there stretching out my back. I can't tell if it's doing anything for me when I'm upright. I figure as long as I don't suffer a stroke in the process it can't hurt to try.

If nothing else it could make for an interesting sexual experiment.

Does anyone out there have any experience with this thing or with lower back pain? Did it help?

Edited to add....there will be no M4M post tomorrow. This past week has been crazy and now with the hubster gone....yeah....well....it aint happen'n.

Big Hair 101

OMG...I'm in stitches right now....and my face is streaked in tears.

I just got home and found the following email from someone who google searched "Big Hair"....the bits in black are my comments.

Hello!I came to your website because I was doing a googlesearch on '80s
hair' and 'big hair' because a local
club is having an 80s night dance
and me and myfriends
are looking for BIG hairstyles and BIG bangs
to model our look after.I'm 16
and don't have a lot of to draw on in thisdept! Despite alot of results there aren't really a lot ofphotos of this hairstyle
(maybe people are tooashamed!!) (Oh no siree....no
shame here....I post my hair with pride....only the truly talented could achieve
such height) I'm sending this email to people who haveput up "big hair"
pictures of themselves in hopesyou'll give us a little help!If you have a
couple minutes I'd really appreciate itif you could share some tips getting really huge
hair!We came up with a few questions we're asking: HOW did you do it? (read below) The pics we've seen, 80 hairabsolutely defies
gravity!How long did it take you everyday to get ready? (I
woke up at 3am every morning before school....;)) I'm so low maintenance
I couldn't even imagine!!) What kind, and how much hairspray did that take? (I went through a case of Aqua Net each week)
Did
you have the tallest hair in your school? (I'm sure I
was a contender) Ifnot how big was the biggest!? Did your hair 'wilt'
during the day? (oh no, my dear friend, Aqua Net does NOT
wilt) Or was it totally stiff from hairspray? (oh, you have NO idea) Really any big-hair
hints/stories/tips you could writeus would be really appreciated!ThanksJenp.s. Did this
hairstyle have a name (or was it just"big hair"? (yep...big
hair says it all) How about makeup What went really well w/ this style? (DONT WEAR BLUE EYESHADOW!) Finally, my friend
Jill (who smokes) wants to know Ifwith all that hairspray did you ever hear of anyoneshair catching on
fire? (She does have a point!!lol) (yes she does...my
hair never went up in flames...but do be careful) Thanks
again!!
Jen

Well, Jen, let me tell you....this is a learned skill that took me YEARS to master. It takes a LAWT of patience, a LAWT of time, and a LAWT of Aqua Net....no other product will do. And As I said in my previous post, I started out small and got bigger as the years progressed. Trying to achieve such height greatness on your first attempt may cause stress and frustration.

You need a BIG round brush....the biggest you can find...... roll the (dry) hair around the brush and spray hair with Aqua Net until it's saturated.....take blow dryer to hair on brush until the spray has dried into a brick like consistency....this may take several sprays and blows. Do this repeatedly with all sections of hair. Then take a rat tailed comb and rat each section. Then take the rat tail end of the comb and ever so carefully pick at the ratted sections (you must be careful not to over pick or your hair will fall...this may take awhile to master). Then hang upside down and spray with more Aqua net. Continue hanging hair upside down until spray has dried. Once spray has dried, very slowly and carefully (so as not to disturb the height) stand upright. Then carefully use the rat pick to tame and smooth the ends of the hair.....then spray again......tame and smooth....spray.....tame and smooth.....spray.

Good Luck.

Do let me know how it goes...I'd love to see a photo! LMAO!

The BIG years...

It's time for some more of Colleen's FlashBack Friday action......

So I left off in 1984...my ugliest year. Now I enter my high school years. We'll call this phase of my life "The Big Years"....big attitude, big drama, and BIG HAIR! Oh yeah baby....My hair got taller and taller every year of high school...by the time I reached my senior year I had a nest of birds taking up residence in my lovely bouffant.

I started out small in 1986....I was slowly learning how to get height. I was also starting to read my teen magazines religiously looking for instructions on makeup application. I would study the pictures of the models in the magazines noting the colors of their skin, hair, eyes and eyeshadow. I would then spend days experimenting with different colors and application techniques. Oh yes...I was THAT vain....oh, who am I kidding.....I'm STILL that vain.

Here I am at Christmas in 1986...I just know your dig'n that knit sweater and skirt set.

Then I enter my 10th grade year in 1988....I had slowly mastered the Aqua Net / big round brush/ blow dryer application technique...and blue eyeshadow was history.
Later in my 10th grade year I learned the UPSIDE DOWN/ aqua net/ big brown brush/ hairdryer application technique to achieve even MORE height....gravity is a wonderful thing...

My senior year....1990. My dear friend Traci had a black Trans Am. We thought we were the shit cruising around in that thing blasting AC/DC with the windows rolled down ....hell.....who am I kidding.....we WERE the shit! A good hair day was judged by whether or not we could fit our hair in her car. If our hair was smashed into the ceiling of her car....we were good.

I'll save my senior prom story for another post....stay tuned for more embarrassing photos....

Fitness Friday

Saturday - 8.25 miles in 1:41!!! WOOP WOOP!! (said with fist pumping action). Average pace 12:19. Weather was beautiful. Sun was shining. Me and Traci KICKED ASS!!! Did 5/2 intervals and felt AWESOME! Gonna try to keep increasing the run time during the short runs this week and then during next week's long run (gotta do 9 next week) we'll try bumping up the intervals to 6 and 2. What a difference it makes when you have someone running along side you.

Tuesday - 3 miles. Didn't bring my timer and didn't time my intervals...just ran when I felt like running and walked when I felt like walking.

Wednesday - Woke up feeling like a slug...so I skipped the morning run and squeezed it in at night instead. Ran 5 miles....oh yes I did! Did 10/2 intervals for the entire 5 miles.....oh yes I did! Finished 5 miles in 58:38....with an average pace of 11:44.....oh yes I did! I am running mommy blogger....hear me roar!

Thursday - had every intention of running last night....but..... when I got home around 6 and walked to my room to change clothes I found our little puppy in her crate covered in poop. Yeah. That was pleasant. So I bathed our dog and disinfected her crate instead of running. By the time I had finished all that I had lost my gusto.

The scale shows 143 this morning....which means I'm down 2 pounds from last week. I'm trying to eat better....actually....truth be told...the only reason I'm down 2 pounds is because we ran out of the chocolate candy bar stash....I ate'em all last week. And I'm still smoking. Yeah, I know, I suck. I'm going to try again next Monday. You see, this is the story of my life...I quit for a couple weeks and smoke for a couple weeks and quit for a couple weeks and smoke for a couple weeks. If I had a dime for every time a friend, family member, or neighbor said "I thought you quit".....I'd be.....standing on a huge pile of dimes. I always answer the same way...."I did quit...which time would you be referring to?"

76 days and counting.....

These last 2 days have been crazy. And it will continue being this crazy for the next 2 weeks at which time I hope to emerge from the light at the end of the tunnel.

Papa Smurf had his eye surgery done on Monday. We (me and the smurflings) were actually able to watch the entire thing. They did the surgery behind a window wall and had his eyeballs blown up and shown on a big screen TV in the room as the surgery was happening. Very cool. It took up most of the day because it was an hour drive away and we were at the office for almost three hours. Boys had to miss practice because we got a little lost on the way home.

Apparently my GPS didn't see or recognize the big orange cones blocking the on ramp to the freeway....She needs glasses.....or maybe SHE should've gotten the Lasik surgery. Am I the only woman in the world to carry on conversations with the GPS lady? Me and my GPS have a very tumultuous relationship. Love her....hate her.....

"Turn Left in 200 feet" "Turn left in 100 feet" "Turn Left now"

"Ummmm....I can't turn left....can't you see the big neon orange "do not enter" sign?"

"recalculating"

"yeah, OK, you do that lady....go ahead and recalculate and then please tell me where the fuck I am because according to MY calculations it looks as if I'm going around in circles in the butt crack of Detroit..."

Here are a couple pictures of the recovering patient

Tuesday....

6:30 - Ran 3 miles then came home and showered.

8:00 - The man for our back landscape came to get started on the retaining wall.

8:00-9:30 - Straightened up the house and did laundry to get the house ready for the cleaning lady.

9:30 - Cleaning Lady came and got started.

10:20 - Smurflings and I took Rosie for her second visit to the vet for shots. (Rosie update: she's up to 5 lbs 3 oz now....and doing MUCH better with the potty training. Hasn't had a potty accident in quite a few days now. The pooping is a work in progress.)

11:30 - Made lunch for the kids and did a bunch of laundry as yesterday was sheet changing day.

1:30 - Here's where I pause to tell you a little story.....

Once upon a time....like back in the FIRST week of May....Mama smurf (that would be me) called a company (We'll call the company MG) to have her lawn aerated. Mama smurf was told by MG that said aeration would happen in 10 to 12 days. Mama smurf gives MG her Credit Card info and all is good.

2nd week goes by.....no aeration

3rd week goes by.....no aeration

4th week goes by.....no aeration and mama smurf gets her MC bill showing that MG had charged her for the aeration back when she called in the first week of May.

During the 5th week....Mama Smurf calls MG because Papa smurf now wants to cancel the aeration. The lawn has already been fertilized twice so what's the point. Mama Smurf ended up leaving a message and didn't hear back from them until 4 days later. Here's a portion of that conversation heavily paraphrased.

MG - How can I help you Mrs. Smurf
MS - I called over 5 weeks ago to have my lawn aerated. I was charged the $82 at that time and was told it would be done in 10-12 days but 5 weeks later it's still not done. And now we'd just like to cancel the service and have our money refunded.
MG - I'm sorry for the delay in the service but we don't give refunds.
MS - Really? You charge me for a service more than 5 weeks in advance....don't show up when you're suppose to....but you don't refund? That's some great customer service you got there.
MG - That's correct...we don't give refunds.
MS - That's too bad cause now you've lost a customer. When can we expect to see you out here to aerate our lawn.
MG - We'll be out there tomorrow.

That phone conversation took place LAST Wednesday. They never showed up Thursday. They never showed up Friday. Nope.....they showed up at 1:30 yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. After several minutes of watching the man aerate I heard an alarm going off somewhere. I wandered from room to room trying to figure out where the loud beeping was coming from. I eventually tracked it down to the garage....it was the power box for the Invisible Fence. Aeration man cut through the line. I run to the back to stop him. He calls his manager....I call Invisible Fence....It's now gonna cost us $90 just for the 1st hour of the service call.....another X amount of dollars per foot of wire to be replaced and another X amount of dollars per 15 minutes of service required past the 1st hour. I found out during the phone call that the line is only buried 4 inches deep. Wonderful.

Now I realize this isn't MGs fault. I didn't warn them about the line because....well.....I didn't even think about it to be honest. But I was already irritated with MG to begin with.

Aeration man comes to my front door and says "I talked to my manager and he told me to just ask if you want me to finish."

MS - UMMMM. NO?! Please tell your manager that I would like my money back. This $82 aeration job has now turned into a $300 hassle.....minus the aeration job.

We still haven't heard from the manager. I'm guessing Papa Smurf will be making the next phone call.

So back to my day.....

That took about an hour of my day.

2:30 - 3:30 - I made several phone calls trying to figure out how I'll be in 2 places at once next week as hubby will be out of town and my daughter has her dress rehearsal and dance recitals next week and the boys have gym practice. After several phone calls I realized that .....the only way to be in 2 places at once is to clone myself...finally called their coach and left a message to find out if they can make up some of their practice time by going at a different time.

4:00 - Left for Smurfette's swim class. It was too cold for the boys to go swimming outside during her swim class so they had to sit and watch....and oh boy wasn't that fun.

5:20 - Left the pool and headed to the grocery store....with ALL 3 KIDS! And oh boy wasn't THAT fun.

6:00 - Headed to Smurfett's 1 hour long dance class with the boys in tow. And oh boy wasn't THAT fun. Thank the dear Lord this was her last class as the rehearsal and recital is next week. Returned home from that around 8 last night.

Got the smurflings settled in for the evening with showers, jammies, and teeth....we were all in bed and passed out by 10pm.....what an exhausting day.

Today.

Set my alarm at 7 to run....didn't feel like running....didn't run. Got the boys to practice by 10. Today was Smurfette's bring a friend day for gymnastics but stupid me signed her up to go at 5pm instead of signing up for a time during the boys' practice....so I decided at the last minute to change her pm class for an AM class so I could condense my extracurriculars into one time slot. So we rushed home to get Smurfette's gymnastics leotard....rushed over to pick up my niece (her "bring a friend"), drove back to the gym with 30 minutes to spare....their class ended at 12:30....the boys' practice ended at 1. Stopped at McDonalds for lunch.....and drove my niece home.

We're in the door for 15 minutes and Dreamy Smurf wants to call a friend....I end up driving him to his friends' house....he (in front of friend and friend's parent...putting me on the spot) asks if friend can spend the night when I pick him up. UGH. I get home and Hefty Smurf is now complaining how unfair it is that Dreamy Smurf gets to have a friend spend the night....and so now he is having a friend spend the night also.

Now you understand why I have to actually schedule appointments with my self to spend a "moment for me".

Only 76 days left till school starts again....but who's counting.

Moment for Me Monday

It was another fantastic week. I've been a little delinquent in keeping up with blogs this week but that's just how this summer is going to have to be. I'm not going to stress myself out over this blog....that would be defeating the purpose!

We had day after day of heavy storms and possible tornadoes last week. The boys' gymnastics class was cancelled for 3 days in a row because their gym had no power.

Thursday was the kids' last day of school. 1/2 day. After lunch we headed over to a friend and neighbor who had an "end of school year" pool party at her house. There must have been 30 kids in the pool. Had a great time. Left there and headed to Smurfette's swim class and then did some MORE swimming in the out door pool after her class was finished. She's getting more and more brave every day.

Friday was uneventful. Hefty Smurf's gymnastics clinic started that day. His gymnastics clinic was this past weekend (Fri, Sat, and Sun) and it was at a gym that's an hour away. I can't remember if I blogged about it but at the boys' state meet for gymnastics the top 5 boys in the state from each level above level 7 was invited to attend an "elite gymnastics clinic". Hefty is 3rd in the state for the level 7s so he was invited. Very exciting! Dreamy Smurf is a level 6 so even though he's 1st in the state he wasn't invited. He'll be there in a couple years!

Saturday, after driving Hefty to his clinic, we spent the afternoon watching rented movies....I told you about PS I Love You....but the other one we watched was The Bucket List....another great movie btw. And then Charlie Wilson's War....I think that was the name of it....I'm a huge Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks fan but I only made it through the first hour...it just wasn't my kind of movie....had a tough time getting into it.

That evening we went out with R and K, and L and T for a fantastic adult evening out. The kids stayed at my brother and SIL's house and spent some quality time with my nieces and nephew. We went to PF Changs for dinner and had a waitress with a big ole hickey on her neck....she claims it was a curling iron burn...but it so was NOT a curling iron burn. I meant to bring my camera but forgot it. That was my first time there and the food was delicious! After dinner we headed for a bar. Had a few drinks and lots of laughs. Then we all headed back to our house to be adolescents without an audience. I could tell you what we were doing as we were all sitting around my kitchen table but then I'd have to shoot you....and......well....that's just not pleasant....so I just won't tell you. =)

Didn't get to sleep until about 2:30 or 3 and then had to set my alarm at 7:15 am Sunday morning because I had to pick up Hefty to get him to his clinic. Sunday....we had a fantastic Father's Day. After the trek to the clinic we spent the afternoon at our house with my family over for a barbecue. Me and the kids went and bought Papa Smurf a new lawn mower for Father's Day....My dad scolded me and told me that was like me getting an iron for my birthday. I disagree. We've had our current lawn mower since we bought our previous house...back in '96.....and it's not a self propelled mower....it's the regular push mower. He doesn't mind it but I do. So getting him a self propelled mower means that I won't mind mowing the lawn now which means that he won't have to mow it as often. AND it also has an electric starter which means that Hefty can now start learning how to mow the lawn. I don't look at it as a gift of a lawn mower....I look at it as a gift of less chores to do in the future. I think that makes me a "wife of the year" candidate.

I had planned on dedicating a post to Papa Smurf yesterday for Father's Day....a lovely "I love my husband so much and he's the best dad in the whole world" post......but I was exhausted and uncomfortably full and just couldn't do it. We were all in bed and asleep by 9:30 last night.

Two evenings in a row of gluttony....can you guess how my diet is holding up?

I leave you with another excerpt from Happiness Now, by Robert Holden (pg. 118).

It is because the world is so full of suffering,

that your happiness is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of poverty,

that your wealth is a gift.

It is because the world is so unfriendly,

that your smile is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of war,

that your peace of mind is a gift.

It is because the world is in such despair,

that your hope and optimism is a gift.

It is because the world is so afraid,

that your love is a gift.

Still haven't had a chance to figure out the Mister Linky problem so if you're interested in participating just leave a comment so we can find your M4M post.

PS - I Love You

I've never been a huge Hilary Swank fan. Don't know why. Can't put my finger on it.

I am now.

I just finished watching my brand new favorite movie.

So...to all my new bloggy friends....you MUST do the following (if you haven't already)....

1. When you next find yourself in a hormonally induced emotional melt down (preferably 2 days before Aunt Flo's unwelcome visit) you must rid yourself of your significant other and children for approximately 2 hours. Do what ever you need to do. But kick them out of the house on an unnecessary errand if you need to.

2. Go to the local movie rental store and rent PS - I Love You.

3. Curl up on your couch with a soft blanket, a box of tissues, and a LARGE glass of "Two Buck Chuck".

You won't be sorry.

My husband now has strict instructions if he finds himself diagnosed with a terminal illness (ie..a brain tumor).

Watch the movie and you'll see what I mean.

Fitness Friday

Smoking, Dieting, Running....

I suck....

On all fronts....

nuf said....

Major swimming breakthroughs and handsome young men!

Wordless Wednesday!

Major breakthroughs at Smurfettes's swim class yesterday.....

she was so darn proud of herself! I LOVE it!

Smurfette has been plagued with a fear of going under water or even just getting her face wet since forever....so holding her breath under water is HUGE!

One Mississippi....
Two Mississippi...
Three Mississippi....
WOOOHOOOOO!!!

Had to get pictures of the boys too....asked Dreamy Smurf to give me a pose with straight serious face ....this is what I got.....a major case of the giggles....such a silly boy....LOL!

Stud Master Hefty Smurf....

And last but not least....Rosie....our stubborn little girl.....do you know they sell diapers for dogs....yeah...I looked into it....

Tackle it Tuesday

I've taken a few Tackle it Tuesdays off but I'm climbing back on this week.

I used to be a flylady. If you wanna learn the flylady way visit the link to flylady's home page...the link is in the right column. Flylady is a fabulous website to help you get your home and life decluttered and organized.....slowly.....one tackle at a time. Each week she focuses on a specific "zone" in your home and has a cleaning check list for each zone along with "Kelly's daily missions" specific for each zone. I love this website but fell off the flylady's wagon a long time ago and thus have lost control of my home. So I'm jumping back on today. This week's zone is the Kitchen. And Kelly's mission was about looking up....taking 10 minutes in the kitchen to clean the light fixtures, cob webs, refrigerator top, etc. So here's what I tackled in my kitchen.

Please don't laugh at me for having plastic plants in my house. I love plants but they don't stay green for me so I have to go plastic. And this piece of plastic had 1/2 inch of dust on it....so I hosed it down.

The top of my frig actually didn't look all THAT bad only because it's a relatively new frig. Don't ask why there's a baseball bat up there as I have no answer for you. But I took everything down and washed it off (it all also had 1/2 inch of dust on it)

My kitchen counters are cluttered with several areas of clutter collections. Here are 2 such spots before the decluttering process.

Before....

After...

before...

After....

I cleaned my 2 kitchen light fixtures...

And scrubbed out my microwave....it was disgusting! I forgot to take a before picture...you'll just have to take my word for it....

And I cleaned out this cupboard. Here's the before....

And the after....

More Marvelous Moments For ME!!

It's been another great M4M week!

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN OR JUDGEMENTAL, OPINIONATED WOMEN. IF NAKED MEN AND DRUNK HORNY WOMEN OFFEND YOU....THEN EXIT THIS POST IMMEDIATELY.

CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!

M4M #1

I went Saturday night with a friend to a bachelorette party for my SIL's sister. We had a LAWT of fun.

From left to right: My SIL Monica,

Monica's sister and the bride-to-be Amy,

my friend Traci, and Me.

We spent the evening at their family owned bar drinking cocktails and watching each other being molested by a sweaty stripper with a mohawk and nasty, dirty, black feet.

Have I mentioned I hate feet?

I spent 5 years in college getting my BSN...it took me an extra year because I changed majors after my 1st year. I loved every minute of my college years but worked my butt off in nursing school. It was tough but I LOVED learning about the human body and what made it tick. Or not tick. Dissecting every square inch of the human body and learning about disease processes fascinated me....so studying to learn all of it was actually fun for me. I won't mention my Calculus class or Art History class as they bored me to TEARS (literally) and I just didn't "get" it. But the actual NURSING courses and clinical studies were fun. Nursing is certainly less than glamorous. In fact, it's about as UN-glamorous as it gets.....and very physically taxing. The hours spent standing were killing my feet and all the heavy lifting and bending over was tearing up my back. But I loved it. When I quit last year I was making $40/hour. I know speaking of your salary is taboo but I don't mind telling you that because I'm no longer doing it anyway. $40/hour is a decent living by anyone's standards. Not GREAT ....but decent. I would bring home about $250 for every 8 hour shift I worked....and I was happy with that.

I tell you that to tell you this....

That sweaty man with the mohawk and dirty feet charged $150 to walk in the door of the bar at 10:30pm and give the bride-to-be a "thrilling" lap dance. He then, for the next hour, made his way around the room giving women 60 second lap dances for the price of twenty bucks a pop. In the span of about 90 minutes this man had to have made at least $500.

I don't point this out to be judgemental and say "OMG he's taking his clothes off for money"....

I don't point this out to say that "I'm better for my college education".....

I point this out to say "there's alot of horny women in this world....so if you find yourself in the position of being unable to afford a college education....or if you don't think you have the fortitude to complete a tough educational program....there's still hope....God Bless America!"

K...that's enough of that.....I have many more pictures but lets just say they were even less suitable for a blog post than those that I actually posted.

M4M #2

I love summer. I love the sun. I love the heat. I love to sweat (but I do NOT like to touch other sweaty people!). This weekend was blissfully, gloriously, and fantastically HOT! Sunday was 92 degrees with a heat index of over 100 degrees. I also love flowers. They make me smile. So, earlier in the week I went here....

And wandered around aimlessly all by myself for almost an hour with a huge stupid grin on my face and my camera in hand. Flowers as far as the eye can see. Smiling.

So, I spent Sunday afternoon in the heat.....until sweat was dripping down from my forehead into my eyes and dripping from the tip of my nose to the cement and my shirt was soaking wet....planting my flowers uninterrupted.

My M4M was spent transforming my dull landscaping from this....

to this.....

And turning this....

Into this....


I still have 2 more flats of flowers to plant but I got a good start on it.

The last section of today's M4M post I dedicate to the delightful woman that stood in front of me in the check out lane at Meijers Sunday (yesterday) afternoon. There was a man in front of her with his items to purchase being scanned. He was an Asian man who was having difficulty speaking English. The cashier had already scanned all his items and he then said...."I no pay doze (pointing to the 2 cases of beer that she had just scanned last)...I pay deeze (pointing to the bagged items)...but my boss pay deeze (pointing back to the beer)" So I assumed he was trying to tell the cashier to put the beer on a separate bill because someone else was paying him back for them. So the cashier started deleting them from the previous order.

The woman in front of me was being nothing short of a bitch about this. She did the roll of the eyes and the loud obvious sigh and then turned to me and very LOUDLY said "And he couldn't have told her that BEFORE she finished ringing up the ENTIRE order??!!" If she hadn't had boobs I would have thought she was my 11 year old in disguise....I mean, she all but stomped her foot for cry'n out loud! And then shakes her head and rolls her eyes and sighs even louder in an attempt to get me to join in on her mean bitchiness. This woman was irritating me. She was being mean, nasty, and condescending.....and there are very few things in this world that piss me off more than mean, condescending people who kick other people in the shin to boost their own ego....

So, I looked her square in the eye and said....very pleasantly..."That doesn't bother me....I'm sure I've done the same thing at some point in my life....and I'm sure I'll do it again at some point in the future.... and I hope the person behind me will be understanding and patient."

This lady didn't get the hint....she then said "I've NEVER (said with dramatic hair flip) done that"....(pause)....."because the first words out of my mouth would be...'I'm not paying for that'..."

I was biting my tongue so hard I'm pretty sure I drew blood....as I was dieing to say "It must be a lot of pressure being so fucking perfect".....I'm very proud of myself for choosing to ignore her at this point. Anyone who knows me well knows how painful it was for me to keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure if I had opened my mouth it would've gotten ugly. There would've been a throw down between 2 middle aged women in the middle of Meijers......all for the sake of an Asian man who had no clue what we were saying. And I'm pretty sure she could have kicked my ass. (ps - would someone please teach me the proper use of the "ing" form of all the die, dye, lay, lie words?....I find it all incredibly confusing.)

Why are people so angry. What makes a person so angry and mean. At what point in this woman's life did it become OK to treat another human being like they were nothing better than the piece of shit she just stepped in. She could have just as easily smiled at the guy and given him a break.

So, I challenge you, the next time you're in a check out lane and the person in front of you does something stupid or something that makes you angry.....smile.....instead of making him feel like he's just ruined your day by taking up an extra 60 seconds of your time. Seriously....you've already lost that 60 seconds whether you choose to smile or be a prick so what would you lose by choosing to be pleasant?