Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Cookie Capers

Once a year I make pizelle cookies. I make one batch of vanilla and one batch of chocolate. I don't make the Annis flavor any more because a lot of people don't care for the licorice flavor & then I end up eating them all.


So last week I sat on my cushy red chair with my coffee table and pizelle iron in front of me. My kids were in my face and prancing about waiting for a spoon or a bowl to lick. The dog was on the ottoman extending her little neck in an effort to nab herself a pizelle treat. Nothing signifies the beginning of the holiday rush like pulling out and dusting off the pizelle iron.


It was almost two weeks before Christmas. Christmas was far enough away that I wasn't in danger of eating every morsel before the holiday gatherings and close enough that the cookies wouldn't get stale.


Or so I told myself.


I woke up every morning with six stacks of pizelle cookies tormenting me from my kitchen counter top. I make my coffee every morning....and there they are. Coffee and pizelle cookies go very good together.

I'll just have two.

I return from the pantry closet after a failed attempt at finding a better breakfast alternative. And there they are. I'll just have these two more and that's it.

Every morning I wake and my stacks of pizelle cookies get shorter and shorter.

After dinner the stacks are on my kitchen counter tormenting the kids. "Mom, can we have just one for dessert?"

"Just one"

"Mom they're so small, just one more?"

"Just one more"

And every evening the stacks of pizelle cookies get shorter and shorter.

I brought a couple dozen to my Italian class last week to share in the last class party feast.


I returned home and the stack seemed to have shrunk even in my absence.

I had a couple friends over for a morning coffee on Thursday and put a couple dozen out to munch on with them.


My son brought a note home from his teacher stating that they were planning a cookie exchange at their class holiday party and each child was to bring in eight cookies. "Handmade cookies are preferred." Perfect. We have pizelle cookies.


There were only a dozen left.


Let me take a brief moment of silence to let that sink in.


Out of approximately 200-300 cookies that were made a mere seven days ago....we only have a dozen left.


A DOZEN!


So I counted out eight cookies put them carefully into a zip lock bag and told Hefty to put them on top of his backpack. Not IN his backpack as pizelle cookies are very fragile and delicate and will get smooshed very easily.


So he did.


He listened to me.

He put the zip lock bag on top of his backpack in his bedroom.

Getting ready to leave the house with the family yesterday afternoon...."Where's Rosie?" (the canine smurf).


She found the cookies.


She ate the cookies.


And now we only have four pizelle cookies left. One pathetic little stack of pizelle cookies remain on my counter.

So yesterday while at Costco I picked up a pack of cookies. (They were "handmade" by someone, right?). My son was instructed to inform his teacher that his dog (and his mother, and his father, and his brother, and his sister) ate his homework.

This morning? I caught Papa Smurf (AKA The Cookie Caper) with one of Hefty's homework cookies in his mouth.

"WHA? No-ody tole me" *said with a mouth full of cookie crumbs spraying from his mouth*


And now I have no more pizelle to share with my family and friends at our holiday parties and we are once again one cookie short for the cookie exchange.

Anyone want a pizelle iron. I'm DONE making "Christmas" cookies.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Funny, as in Ha-Ha?

From his preschool teacher: "He's a delight in the class, but that belly laugh of his gets the whole class going and then it's like mass chaos and it becomes very difficult to teach. You should nip this in the bud now because you don't want him to become a class clown."

From his kindergarten teacher: "He's so much fun to have in my class."

From his 1st grade teacher......Well, let's just say she found absolutely NO humor in him whatsoever. He was just the thorn in her side.

From his 2nd grade teacher: "He brings laughter to our class every day.


From his 4th grade teacher: "He has such a funny personality."


From his 5th teacher: "So YOUR Mrs. Smurf. I couldn't wait to meet you to find out who the mother of this funny boy is. And this is Mrs. P....she wanted to meet you too."

From another of his 5th grade teachers: "I told Hefty that I was going to make a book and write down all his little hefty-isms. He's the funniest kid I've ever had in my class. The things that come from that kid's mouth are just so funny."

From his 6th grade teacher: "He's a lot of fun and a very smart boy but tends to get carried away and disruptive in class."

Phone call #1 from school: "He stuck a tack on a child's chair because he "thought the other kid had a great personality and would think it was funny"."

Phone call #2 from school: "He took a drink from a water fountain and was squirting water through his teeth at the other kids in the hallway because he thought they would think it was funny."

Phone call #3 from school (2 days ago): "He belted out in the middle of class "My mom farted and the whole building blew up."

Because he thought it would be funny.

The teacher went on to say something about him being way too chatty and disruptive but I lost all ability to listen after hearing that above statement.

Just what you want to hear from your child's teacher. No?

How, exactly, do you respond to that?

"Um, I'm sorry but I swear I never blew any buildings up with my farts....rooms have certainly been evacuated because of them but an actual blowing up of the room never occurred?" That just doesn't sound very mature and is probably not her concern.

"I'm so sorry for my son's behavior?" That just doesn't do my mortification justice.

"I will certainly take care of the problem when he returns home. Thank you so much for notifying me"? Sounds a little too somber. Maybe if I inserted a little snicker at the end it would be more fitting and appropriate for the situation?



Mor-ti-fied!



So, Hefty returned home. I scolded/grounded him. I made him write a note of apology to his teacher. And here is his note....Which, by the way, I failed to read before he took it to school the next day to have his teacher sign (so that I knew he actually gave it to her).

"Dear Mrs. A, I'm sorry for disrupting class. It is wrong to disrupt your Social Studies class. It is wrong to disrupt class because then no one gets much done and everyone goofs off. I will stop disrupting class because I don't want to disrupt your class or become the cause of such circumstances in the classroom because nothing good comes out of it except for getting to enjoy your work at the cost of everyone else's work not getting done and if no one gets work done then the point of class time is ruined. Also, it is hurtful to my mother to say such things because it puts out the wrong vibes about her and makes others think she is a bad parent. Sincerely, Hefty Smurf"

His teacher replied by saying "Thank you for your support. I look forward to a quieter work time for everyone!

I'm more mortified now then I was after receiving the phone call. Should I reply back to the teacher and maybe throw it out there, nonchalantly, that I really don't fart all that much anymore since I eliminated all dairy from my diet?

I should probably just let it go....

Pun intended.....

Monday, December 15, 2008

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

This weekend marks a turning point for me. The big gasping deep breath after a month and a half of drowning in my to-do list.


All November & December birthdays are behind us. My Christmas shopping is completed. Grandma's heritage album (volume 1) is complete and has been uploaded and ordered. My Christmas cards are sent. Yearly well-checks for 2 out of 3 of my children are done. Santa has been visited. And we just returned from our last gymnastics meet of 2008. Tonight is the last Italian class of the session and because they've changed the day/time for the continuation class it looks as if this will be my last Italian class period. Which really stinks, but, whatever. And last, but not least, hubby has no further business travel planned for this year.

Taking a big deep reoxygenating breath.

And feeling good.

And finally beginning to enjoy the holiday season. It's hard not to when my daughter insists on listening to Christmas music every time we get into my van.

SO, Thursday was Smurfette's birthday. Several years ago I made the executive decision to alternate "friend parties" for my 3 kids. All 3 of my kids birthdays are within a month of Christmas and planning these parties every year for all of them so close to the holidays was just too much. I've discovered that they really don't miss it much. Instead of stressing out for weeks in advance over guest lists, goody bags, and entertainment I now make extra efforts to make their birthdays special in other ways. Last year was Smurfette's turn and we celebrated her 5th birthday with all her friends and "Tootsie the Clown." So Smurfette's birthday this year was low key.

I signed her out of school for lunch and took her out to eat. She talked the entire time about how her teacher gave her a crown, a birthday certificate, a birthday pencil, and a book and the whole class sang to her. She was just as excited to receive that one little birthday pencil and book as she was to receive 15 gifts from her friends at last year's party.

She received her free birthday treat at the restaurant and all the staff came out to sing to her. She was grinning from ear to ear at all the attention.










After dropping the boys off at gymnastics I then took Smurfette to Toys R Us so she could get her balloon and crown and over head announcement. Having all the store customers randomly wish her a happy birthday made her feel special. I forgot my camera in the car. We exited the store and saw this....taken from inside my car so please excuse the window reflections. But she just thought this was beautiful. "Mama, I've never seen the sky so pretty before."





We then headed to her hip hop dance class where it was parent viewing night. I rarely get to watch her class as they keep the door shut and parents aren't allowed to view. So this was a special treat. She's such a ham and loves shake'n her booty.

After the extracurricular shuffle we returned home where daddy was waiting for us so she could open her birthday presents.




She was so excited to receive her very first American Girl doll. "Mama, thank you so much for getting me an American Girl doll. I wanted one forever."

Friday night we celebrated her birthday with the immediate family at TGIFridays where they again sang to her and tied her all up with balloons. She loved being the center of attention.


Saturday we left first thing in the morning to visit Santa. Not just any Santa, but THE Santa! I convinced my boys into going but found out that the first available appointment was at 3:30pm. So I had to leave to take the boys out to gymnastics and then return with my niece and nephew later that day. I don't have the Santa photos yet but will post them soon.

And Sunday was the boys' second gymnastics meet of the season. They both kicked butt.

Dreamy once again took 1st place all around and Hefty once again took 2nd.

And I am once again sharing one video clip of each boy on a different event.

Hefty on high bar:


video

And Dreamy on rings:


video

Saturday, December 13, 2008

And the lucky? winner is.....

Well, it seems my little Hot Blogger Calendar giveaway was a bust. Since there was only one participant a random drawing is unnecessary. =)

The lucky? winner is.....Kori! I'm off to go order your calendar now! I haven't received mine yet but when we both get it we'll have to compare notes.....ogle and tell so to speak.....

Thursday, December 11, 2008

My baby's SIX!

We waited a little less than 4 long years to have our 3rd child. I was basically waiting until I was OK with the fact that our 3rd child would more than likely be another boy. It took me 4 years to come to terms with that and decide that I just wanted a 3rd child. It didn't matter what the sex was. Or so I told myself over and over again. The truth is, deep down, I did care. I knew this would be our last child. I wanted a girl.



Don't misunderstand this as me being disappointed in the gender of my first two children. I was thrilled that my boys came first and were so close in age. But now I wanted a girl.



I wanted a girl so desperately that I went to the library and took out the book, How To Choose the Sex of Your Baby. I needed to know that if our 3rd and final child turned out to be another boy that I had done everything in my power to have that girl. Even to the tune of a hokey book's suggestions. That book became my bible. I took notes.



After 3 months of failed pregnancy tests Papa Smurf had to take a two week business trip (which took place right in the middle of my cycle) so we decided (without much choice) to take the 4th month off from trying. I must have ovulated really early or really late that month because that's the month I got pregnant. We did everything wrong. Everything the book said NOT to do to conceive a girl. I was actually disappointed when I found out I was pregnant because I just knew I had ruined my last chance to conceive a daughter.



I cried many happy tears at my ultrasound when I found out I was wrong. We were having a girl.



Our little beautiful Smurfette entered our world 6 years ago today.





We were on cloud nine for the first two weeks. She was a perfect baby. I remember telling family and friend visitors how content & happy she was. So quiet. Slept like a champ.


And then two weeks into her life we woke up to this ....


And it didn't stop for SIX. LONG. MONTHS. The worst 6 months of my life.


What have we done?


Please remind me again why I had to have a 3rd child so bad.


I begged her doctor over and over again for tests....Or drugs....if not for her then for me...


At 6 months of age a different doctor finally listened to me. I think it was the melt down I had in the office. I'm sure he thought I was suicidal. I came completely unglued right there in front of him. He gave her medicine.


And she smiled.


And I smiled.


And she slept through the night for the first time.


And I slept through the night for the first time.


And my precious little girl was born.


Smurfette 6 mos old

The following picture is Smurfette at every month up to a year. Yes, we did capture the occasional smile on film before that turning point but they were NOT easily won.




And she has been lighting up our house with her gorgeous smile ever since that glorious day.



She adds a calm and dainty sweetness to the overabundance of testosterone in our home.


She brings innocence and laughter....



And I get to buy girly clothes. And take her to ballet class. And put ribbons and bows in her hair.



This little girl came into our lives and completed our family.


My little baby girl is growing up fast. I wish I could stop time and bottle these days up.

"How many more sleeps till my birthday, Mama?"


I've heard that question every day for the last month.


It's finally here baby....you're SIX!


Happy birthday!





Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Hot Blogger Calendar Giveaway! And an award!

So, last night I promised myself I'd get my Christmas cards done after the kids went to bed. But I returned home to find out some exciting news and I just HAD to tell ya'll about it. So the blank envelopes remain on my counter taunting me.

It happened again.

I won.

Again.

TWICE.

You know, it's really kinda eery how I'm always winning things. You all can think I'm a freak...I'm OK with that....but I'm convinced that I have a special guardian angel that sees to it that I win everything. You think I'm just trying to be funny here but I'm really not. I really do believe that. Cause it's just not natural for a person to win things as often as I do.

And this time? I won me 12 handsome HOT men. These men will be in my kitchen starting January 1st and will be with me 24/7 for the 365 days that follow. An entire year of 12 HOT men. Unfortunately, these men won't be cleaning or cooking in my kitchen. I know, right? They'll just be providing me with some yummy eye candy looking all HOT on my refrigerator keeping me company as I gaze into their "dreamy" eyes while laboring with a sweaty brow over my stove.

HA!....oh come on now....that was funny, admit it......that even made me laugh. Me?!?....cooking?!?....MWAHAHAHA!

I digress....

Eat your heart out mommy bloggers...I won me my very own Hot Blogger Calendar (2009).

Oh yes I did.

I won this from none other than
Backpacking Dad himself....AKA Mr. September. And since I'm all about "paying it forward" I'm gonna purchase another calendar through the button on his blog to be shipped directly to one lucky reader for my very own Hot Blogger Calendar giveaway. You know you want one.

AND, Backpacking Dad is donating his proceeds from this calendar (ordered through that button on his blog) to families staying at the
Ronald McDonald house at Stanford Hospital.

So, lets see, to enter this HOT giveaway contest you simply have to leave me a comment telling me how you plan to (or already have) "paid it forward." Have you changed someone's life for the better? Tell me about it. Contest closes at midnight on Friday....A winner will be randomly picked and announced on Saturday.

Thanks again Backpacking Dad!

But that's not all...

I've also been given this fine award below....





Kristin over at Jilli Java Garden of Eden gave me this award.....


"because I never have bloggingly met an individual who can be as self deprecating as this gal and she will blog about the good and the bad with no question. She's an equal opportunity blogger."

That's so sweet. Who knew that my self deprecation would win me an award? Thank you Kristin for making my day!

And now, per award rules, I'm suppose to share 10 honest things about myself. But...because I'm so fricking honest....I'm running out of things to tell you. My blog is pretty much an open book of me and my life and I've already shared just about everything I can possibly share about myself. I'll try to be original here but I'm sure these are things many of you already know about me.

1. I love to read but haven't read a book since that REALLY good smut novel during our trip with our friends back in August. I have purchased no less than 10 books since then. And still haven't gotten to them.

2. I absolutely canNOT stand to be near a person eating an apple. Makes me want to scream. Or gouge out there eyeballs.

3. When I was in 8th grade I use to sit next to a girl in English class that chomped on her wad of gum like a frick'n cow. We came close to getting into many a fist fights over it.

4. I enjoy talking on the phone with friends. I'm much more productive during the day if I have the phone glued to my ear. I try to have a contest with myself while I'm on the phone....How many household chores can I complete during this phone conversation?

5. I hate to cook. But then, you already knew that didn't you? That's not to say I'm not good at it when I DO cook. But I still hate it.

6. When I decorated my house for Christmas recently I realized I had a Christmas decoration right in my kitchen that was never put away from last Christmas...it just sorta blended right in. And the bathroom in my basement? still had the wreath on the wall and the Silver Christmas trees on the counter since last year. I'm all about efficiency. Why put it away when you'll just have to pull it back out in 11 months?

7. I love the color red. I love decorating for Christmas. And I love for my house to be color coordinated. So one of the biggest reasons I bought red couches for my great room is so that my Christmas decorations would match. I'm SO not kidding.

8. I've had electrolysis treatments done on my eyebrows, and laser zaps on my dego stache, and bikini area. I'm a hairy dego. May go back in the future for my legs and arm pits if I can ever get over the trauma from the pain of the first treatments.

9. I. Want. A. Tummy. Tuck. And when I do get that tummy tuck...and I WILL get it one day...I'm so darn honest that I'll be sharing before and after photos with ya'll....

10. I have a bald spot the size of a nickle on the crown of my head (slightly to the left) that has been there since I was born. And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I got my haircut growing up....the hairdresser would say "you know you have a bald spot on your head...you should have that checked out." My dear friend Kelly now cuts my hair and up until about a year ago she also would say those exact words to me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. she cut my hair. Until I pointed out to her that she had probably said that to me no less than 20 times previously. She hasn't said it since. =) Luv ya Kel!!


So I pass this award on to the following..


Life As I Live It cuz she's moving into a brand new house in a couple weeks and could use the new bling as a house warming gift. =)

Got Kids, Need Valium cuz she's a fellow shopping enthusiast and us shopping enthusiasts like a little bling. And she's got kids and she needs valium....(her words not mine...she's a very delightful woman)

Grace Comes By Hearing cuz she and her husband have just (as in less than 48 hours ago) become the proud parents to a beautiful little boy as their adopted son, Samuel, was just born. Congrats Tracey!

See Kori Rant cuz I have a soft spot for a gal that tells it like it is. And I just have a soft spot for this chic in general. Life has dealt her some pretty low blows but she always comes out pointing at the shiny spot on a rusty old dilapidated Lincoln.

C
ommon Mom I can relate to her...and her "common-ness". I like her humor. She makes me laugh. Except, of course, when she starts talking about loving snow and winter and sh*t. =)

Mommy Always Wins cuz she's one of the very first blogs I started following way back when and she's a full time working mom who's totally got her sh*t together and can laugh at herself when she doesn't.

Spoiled Mommy cuz I've just recently "met" her and I like her.

Here are the rules for the recipients:

♥ list 10 honest things about yourself

pass the award onto 7 blogs that you find brilliant in their content or design

♥ link to the blogger who gave you this prize

♥ link to the blogs receiving the prize

♥ notify the recipients

Monday, December 8, 2008

Fly'n Solo

I'm still alive.

But I'm flying solo. I'm the pilot of a 6 passenger air craft (doggies are allowed on this flight) and my co-pilot is missing in action. He was out of town Sunday through Thursday last week. Then worked Fri, Sat (which was his 37th birthday by the way), AND Sunday and will now be out of town again Monday through Thursday. So, I'm flying solo. This little puddle hopper of a plane flies on autopilot but I'm in imminent danger of falling asleep at the wheel. I think it'll all be OK....cuz the plane is on autopilot after all. But, what if when I fall asleep my head bounces off the little red "do not touch" button and the plane suddenly sputters and coughs and dives nose first leaving a nasty little blemish on the Earth's surface.

I was not cut out for single parenthood solo piloting. I need a partner. I need a co-pilot to keep me in check. To talk to me so I don't fall asleep at the wheel and accidentally push that forbidden little red button.

When the co-pilot is in his seat we can take breaks to relieve each other. But when you're on your own you can't very well step away from the cock-pit to go to the bathroom....or, you know, blog....cuz who would man the control panel and fly the plane?

Some outsiders may read this and say "dude, wake up, your co-pilot is shacking up with a stewardess or working for a different airline entirely." But no. Not so. This airline has more perks than those others. Oh, sure, those other airlines may offer better food meal choices....you're lucky to get a bag of stale peanuts here....but the health benefits given for loyalty are much more enticing here at Smurfland Airlines. Just say'n....

So, I'm here. I'm alive. All is well in Smurfland. But I've been a little preoccupied with telling the Airline Control powers that be to kiss my a** cuz I could use a break....to tinkle....or blog....or something....

I'm SO behind in keeping up with everyone's blogs....among other things. Sorry bout that. But I will be back as soon as my co-pilot returns.